Friends, family and co-workers: I think you're fabulous - just not quite as fabulous as you think you are.
朋友、家人和同事们：我觉得你们很棒──只不过没有你们自认为的那么棒而已。
Consider your Facebook status updates:
看看你们的Facebook状态更新：
Best gift ever from the best husband ever.
来自史上最好老公的史上最好的礼物。
Swam 30 minutes at a very fast time despite the large amount of Chardonnay served to me on the plane last night.
以很快的速度游了30分钟，尽管昨天晚上在飞机上喝了不少霞多丽酒（Chardonnay）。
Got my first royalty check for my book!
拿到了我那本书的第一张版税支票！
Sunset sail. Turned into a moonlight sail. Shooting stars everywhere…Perfect.
日落航行，结果变成了月色航行。到处都是流星……太完美了。
A benign reading would be that these are just typical daily updates. But folks, this is bragging, whether you recognize it or not. And it's out of control. How did this happen?
善意的解读是，这些只不过是普通的日常状态更新。但各位，这其实是吹牛，无论你承认与否。而且这还是不由自主的。怎么会这样呢？
Clearly, the Internet has given us a global audience for our bombast, and social media sites encourage it. We're all expected to be perfect all the time. The result is more people carefully stage-managing their online image.
很显然，互联网为我们吹牛提供了全球受众，社交媒体网站起到推波助澜的作用。我们都希望自己时刻保持完美，结果就是，越来越多的人开始精心打造自己的网络形象。
Boasting isn't just a problem on the Internet. In a society of unrelenting competition - where reality-show contestants duke it out for the approval of aging celebrities and pastors have publicists - is it any wonder we market ourselves relentlessly?
吹牛不光是在互联网上的问题。在这个竞争异常激烈的社会，真人秀选手们为赢得老一代明星的认可而斗智斗勇，牧师都有自己的公关。在这样一个社会，我们不择手段地营销自己难道还奇怪吗？
In part, you can blame the economy. In the most competitive job market in memory, the lesson is clear: You must demonstrate - on multiple platforms - that you excel above all others.
你可以认为经济是一个原因。在如今这个人们记忆中竞争最激烈的就业市场，教训是很清楚的：你必须在多个平台上展示自己比其他所有人都优秀。
Changes in parenting style also play a role. Nowadays, every moment - first day of school, exhausted nap in the back seat of the car - is documented. The problem is that these shared moments can easily come off as crowing about how great Mom and Dad are to have raised such an adorable kid.
对子女教育方式的转变也起到了一定作用。现如今，每个时刻都会被记录下来，比如上学第一天，还有在车后座累到打盹的时候。问题在于，这些分享的时刻很容易表现为炫耀父母如何成功地养了这样一个可爱的孩子。
We've become so accustomed to boasting that we don't even realize what we're doing. And it's harmful to our relationships because it turns people off.
我们太习惯于自夸了，甚至都没意识到我们到底在做什么。而这对我们的人际关系是有害的，因为它让人讨厌。
So why keep it up?
那为什么还要继续吹呢？
'We brag because we can,' says Julie Hanks, a licensed clinical social worker who has a therapy clinic in Salt Lake City. 'And a lot more people are listening.'
在盐湖城开有一家理疗诊所的执业临床社工朱莉•汉克斯（Julie Hanks）说，我们炫耀是因为我们可以，而且有很多人在听。
People brag for all sorts of reasons, she says: to appear worthy of attention or love or to try and cover up our deepest insecurities. To prove to ourselves that we're OK, that people from our past who said we wouldn't measure up were wrong. Or simply because we're excited when good things happen to us.
她说，人们出于各种各样的理由炫耀：为了显得值得注意或被爱，或试图掩盖我们心灵最深处的不安全感；为了向自己证明我们过得很好，证明说我们赶不上他们的上一辈人是错的；或者只是因为有好事发生的时候我们会兴奋。
And talking about ourselves feels good. According to the results of a series of experiments conducted by Harvard University neuroscientists and published in May in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, the reward areas of our brain - the same areas that respond to 'primary rewards' such as food and sex - are activated when we talk about ourselves. We devote between 30% and 40% of our conversation time to doing just that, according to the study, which didn't focus on boasting specifically, but on self-disclosure.
而且谈论自己感觉很好。哈佛大学（Harvard University）神经系统科学家所做的一系列实验显示，我们大脑的“奖励区”──也就是对食物和性等“主要奖励”做出反应的区域──在我们谈论自己的时候会被激活。这项研究演示，我们30%到40%的谈话时间都花在谈论自己上。该研究的重点并不是炫耀而是自我表露，研究报告已于5月份发表在《美国国家科学院院刊》(Proceeding of the National Academy of Sciences)上。
In one experiment, the researchers offered people small amounts of money to answer questions about themselves or others. They generally were willing to forgo earnings in order to talk about themselves.
在其中一项实验中，研究人员给人们提供少量的钱，让他们回答有关自己或别人的问题。他们一般都愿意为了谈论自己而放弃钱。
Unfortunately, some people can't seem to tell the difference between sharing positive information that others might actually want to know and flat-out crowing. Let me help: Bragging involves comparison, whether stated or implied. 'It's being overbearing and showing excessive pride,' says Ms. Hanks.
遗憾的是，有些人似乎分不清分享其他人真正想知道的正面信息和不顾一切炫耀的区别。我来帮忙区分吧：炫耀里面有对比，有的是直接对比，有的是暗示。汉克斯说，炫耀时态度傲慢，会表现出过度的自豪感。
Often, bragging is in the eye of the beholder, as Faith McKinney found out at a church picnic one recent Sunday. The Indianapolis postal-service worker, 45, was telling an older member of her congregation about the interviews she does with celebrities for her freelance gig at a local online entertainment magazine, when her cousin - the one she donated a kidney to a few years ago - suddenly piped up: 'There she goes again, dropping names.'
对于炫耀的感觉通常也是因人而异的，费斯•麦金尼（Faith McKinney）在最近一个周日的教堂野餐会上就发现了这一点。麦金尼现年45岁，是印第安纳波利斯的一名邮政服务人员。她正在跟教会中一名年纪较长的会员聊天，谈论自己在当地一家在线娱乐杂志做兼职时对名人的采访，这时她的表妹──几年前她捐过一个肾脏给这个表妹──突然插话说：她又来了，又开始罗列名字了。
'You could have knocked me over with a feather,' says Ms. McKinney, who admits she mentions the famous people she's met at every opportunity because she feels this makes her more interesting.
麦金尼说，这让我大吃一惊。她承认自己会利用一切机会提自己见过的名人，因为她觉得这会让自己显得更有意思。
She continued her story - and even dropped a few more names, on purpose. But she felt humiliated, especially when she remembered that another relative had recently asked her why her 'big head' was always in the photos of work she posted online. 'If these are people who love me saying this, what am I to expect from strangers?'
她继续讲自己的故事，甚至又故意罗列了几个名字。但她觉得受到了侮辱，特别是当她记起另一个亲戚最近问她，为什么她的“大头”总是出现在她上传到网上的那些工作照里。她说，如果我爱的这些人都这么说，陌生人又会怎么样呢？
According to yet-to-be-published research at Columbia University, browsing Facebook or another social media site increases our levels of narcissism as well as our self-esteem.
一份即将发表的哥伦比亚大学（Columbia University）的研究报告显示，浏览Facebook或其他社交媒体网站会提高我们的自恋以及自尊水平。
And while we're more likely to be modest with our friends and family in person, these are the people we most want to see our enhanced updates online, says Keith Wilcox, assistant professor of marketing at Columbia Business School, who conducted the study.
进行这项研究的哥伦比亚大学商学院（Columbia Business School）市场营销学助理教授凯斯•威尔克斯（Keith Wilcox）说，虽然我们在和朋友家人面对面时可能更谦逊，但我们却最想让这些人看到我们在网上经过了美化的状态更新。
'Their opinions matter more,' he says, adding that online, the usual social norms of modesty don't necessarily hold.
他说，这些人的看法更有分量。他说在网上，常规的谦逊社会准则并不一定适用。
'It's become a phenomenon where if someone posts a status update and 500 people see it and no one objects, it must be true,' says Jennifer Mirsky, 45, a digital content strategist in New York.
现年45岁、在纽约做数字内容策略师的詹妮弗•米尔斯基（Jennifer Mirsky）说，如果有人更新了一条状态，500个人看过而且没有一个人提出异议，那它就应该是真的，这已经成为了一种普遍现象。
'But could it really be that everyone else has a husband as thoughtful as the heroes of romance novels, children who combine the brilliance of Einstein with the winning charms of Shirley Temple, and jobs packed with wall-to-wall glamorous events?'
她说，但是，每个人都真的会有一个如爱情小说中主人公那么体贴的丈夫，兼具爱因斯坦的聪明才智和秀兰•邓波儿（Shirley Temple）般迷人魅力的孩子，还有各种多次多彩的活动参加不过来的工作吗？
Ms. Mirsky says her strategy is to simply hit the 'like' button and move on. 'You input one keystroke of indeterminate meaning to say 'hooray for you!' ' she says.
米尔斯基说，她的策略是点一下“赞”按钮，然后就不管它了。她说，点一下就模糊地传达出“真有你的！”的意思。
So how should you deal with a braggart?
那么应该怎么对待一个吹牛的人呢？
'Feel sorry for them, because they're doing this impulsive, destructive thing that won't help them in the long run,' says Simine Vazire, a research psychologist and associate professor at Washington University in St. Louis. Research on self-enhancement shows that people who brag make a good first impression, but that it diminishes over time.
华盛顿大学圣路易斯分校（Washington University in St. Louis）研究心理学家及副教授斯明•瓦兹（Simine Vazire）说，为他们感到惋惜，因为从长远来看，他们这种冲动有害的做法不会有好处。对自我提升的研究表明，吹嘘的人给人的第一印象不错，但随着时间推移，这种好印象会逐渐消失。
When Ian McKenzie, 30, a schoolteacher in Lincoln, U.K., goes out to dinner with his wife and their friends, he says, everyone soon gets around to bragging - about the gadgets and cars they own, their kids, their vacations. 'I have my fill of it and start to act up,' he says.
30岁的伊恩•麦肯齐（Ian McKenzie）是英国林肯市（Lincoln）的一名教师。他说，在和妻子以及朋友出去吃晚餐时，大家很快都开始吹牛，内容包括自己的电子产品和车、孩子还有度假。他说，我受够了，也开始吹。
He mentions how he went to school with Prince William. (He attended St. Andrew's in Scotland at the same time but never knew the prince.) Or he tells of the time he saw supermodel Kate Moss. (She got out of a car near where he was walking; he had no idea who she was until his wife clued him in.)
他提到自己和威廉王子（Prince William）一起上学的事情（他也是在同一个时期在苏格兰上的圣安德鲁斯大学（St. Andrew's），但并不认识威廉王子），还说自己见到过超模凯特•摩丝（Kate Moss，他在街上走的时候看到她从旁边的一辆车下车，直到妻子告诉他，他才知道这个人是谁）。
The reaction? 'Stunned silence,' he says. 'Hopefully, it will bring the pudding course on quicker and there will be a rush for the door.'
众人作何反应？他说，“尴尬的沉默。但愿这会加快大家吃甜点的速度，然后快点离开餐厅。”