摘要：一名护士曾记录了将死之人最常见的憾事，排在榜首的是希望自己工作别那么努力

There was no mention of more sex or bungee jumps. A palliative nurse who has counselled the dying in their last days has revealed the most common regrets we have at the end of our lives. And among the top, from men in particular, is 'I wish I hadn't worked so hard'.

从未有人提过自己最遗憾的是应该多一些性爱或蹦极跳运动。一名舒缓疗法护士在病人最后的日子里对其进行了一些调查，向我们展示了人的一生最常见的几大遗憾。位居榜首的是，尤其对于男性，希望自己工作别那么努力。

Bronnie Ware is an Australian nurse who spent several years working in palliative care, caring for patients in the last 12 weeks of their lives. She recorded their dying epiphanies in a blog called Inspiration and Chai, which gathered so much attention that she put her observations into a book called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.

布罗妮·瓦尔是澳大利亚的一名护士，多年来一直从事舒缓疗法护理工作，照顾生命仅余12周的病人。她将病人弥留之际的顿悟记录在自己的博客中——Inspiration and Chai，该博客引起了很多注意，因此，她又将自己的观察发现写成了一本书，名为《人在弥留之际的五大憾事》。

Ware writes of the phenomenal clarity of vision that people gain at the end of their lives, and how we might learn from their wisdom. "When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently," she says, "common themes surfaced again and again."

瓦尔在书中写到了人在死亡将至时异常清晰的视角，以及我们如何从其人生智慧中获取知识。当问到病人有何遗憾之事或是有机会可以重来的事情时，她说，反复再三都表现出一些共同的主题。

Here are the top five regrets of the dying, as witnessed by Ware:

下面就是由瓦尔调查所知的人生五大憾事：

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

1.我希望能够有勇气活出真正的自己，而不是按别人的期望生活。

"This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it."

这是所有人最常见的憾事。当人们意识到自己的生命即将结束并清晰地回头看时，很容易发现自己有多少梦想没有实现。大多数人甚至连一半梦想都没有实现就要面对死亡了，却明明知道这一切归咎于自己选择了或是没有选择。健康带给人的自由几乎很少人有人意识到，往往失去了才悔之晚矣。

2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.

2.我希望自己工作别那么努力。

"This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence."

这是我护理过的所有男性病人的肺腑之言。他们错过了照顾孩子的美好时光，忘记了与伴侣的甜蜜相伴。女性也谈到了这方面的遗憾，但大多出自老一辈之口，许多女性病人一直未担过养家糊口的重任。

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

3.我希望能够有勇气表达自己的感受。

"Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result."

许多人为了与他人和平相处，拼命压制自己的感情。结果，他们勉强满足于平庸的生存状态，从未成为自己真正有能力成为的人。因此，就有一大批人由于忍受人生中的痛苦与怨恨罹患各种疾病。

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

4.我希望我能与朋友们保持联系。

"Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying."

通常情况下，直到生命即将结束，人们才能真正意识到老朋友对于自己多么重要，但想联系到他们并不是很轻易就能实现的。许多人都是由于平时太忙，以致美好的友谊随着时光的流逝也慢慢逝去。我们因自己未付出足够的时间与精力来维持友谊而抱有深深的遗憾。每个人都会在弥留之际思念朋友。

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

5.我希望能让自己更快乐。

"This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again."

虽说这一点出人意料，却也是普遍存在的遗憾。许多人直到将死之时才意识到快乐是个选择。他们墨守成规与旧习，这种所谓的来自对某种东西熟悉的‘舒适’既充斥了他们的情感也充满了物质生活。惧怕改变使得他们对他人伪装，也对自己伪装，才得到某种满足，但在内心深处，他们却渴望笑得自在，糊糊涂涂再活一次。

What's your greatest regret so far, and what will you set out to achieve or change before you die?

到目前为止，你最大的遗憾是什么呢，在生命结束之前，你要着手实现什么、改变什么呢？