Yesterday afternoon I went to the soccer game with Luca Spaghetti and his friends. We were there to watch Lazio play. There are two soccer teams in Rome—Lazio and Roma. The rivalry between the teams and their fans is immense, and can divide otherwise happy families and peaceful neighborhoods into civil war zones. It's important that you choose early in life whether you are a Lazio fan or a Roma fan, because this will determine, to a large part, whom you hang out with every Sunday afternoon for the rest of time.

昨天下午，我跟卢卡•斯帕盖蒂和他的朋友们去看足球赛。我们在那儿看拉齐奥队（Lazio）比赛。罗马有两个足球队——拉齐奥队和罗马队（Roma）。两队及其粉丝之间竞争激烈，足以将快乐的家庭和平静的街坊分裂成内战地带。无论是拉齐奥粉丝或罗马粉丝，都得自幼作出抉择，因为这大抵决定你一辈子的周日午后将和谁泡在一起。

Luca has a group of about ten close friends who all love each other like brothers. Except that half of them are Lazio fans and half of them are Roma fans. They can't really help it; they were all born into families where the loyalty was already established. Luca's grandfather (who I hope is known as Nonno Spaghetti) gave him his first sky-blue Lazio jersey when the boy was just a toddler. Luca, likewise, will be a Lazio fan until he dies.

卢卡有一群十个左右的好友，全像兄弟般相亲相爱。除开其中一半是拉齐奥粉丝，另一半是罗马粉丝。他们无能为力；他们所生长的家庭都早已确立其忠诚。卢卡的祖父（但愿他叫作诺诺——斯帕）在卢卡还小的时候，就给了他第一件天蓝色的拉齐奥球衣。卢卡也将永远是拉齐奥粉丝，一直到死。

"We can change our wives," he said. "We can change our jobs, our nationalities and even our religions, but we can never change our team."

我们可以换老婆，他说我们可以换工作、换国籍，甚至改换宗教，但我们永远无法换球队。顺带一提，粉丝的意大利语是tifoso。源自斑疹伤寒（typhus）这个词。

By the way, the word for "fan" in Italian is tifoso. Derived from the word for typhus. In other words—one who is mightily fevered.

换句话说，即是严重发烧的人。

My first soccer game with Luca Spaghetti was, for me, a delirious banquet of Italian language. I learned all sorts of new and interesting words in that stadium which they don't teach you in school. There was an old man sitting behind me, stringing together such a gorgeous flower-chain of curses as he screamed down at the players on the field. I don't know all that much about soccer, but I sure didn't waste any time asking Luca inane questions about what was going on in the game. All I kept demanding was, "Luca, what did the guy behind me just say? What does cafone mean?" And Luca—never taking his eyes from the field—would reply, "Asshole. It means asshole."

我和卢卡的第一场足球赛，对我来说是一场疯狂的意大利语盛宴。我在体育场内学到学校未教的各式各样新奇有趣的字眼。坐在我身后的一名老人，以堆积成串的华丽辞藻朝球场上的球员尖声诅咒。我对足球所知甚少，但我并未浪费任何时间去询问卢卡，有关比赛进行当中的种种无聊问题。我不断要他告诉我：卢卡，我后面那家伙刚刚说什么？‘cafone’是什么意思？目光始终未曾离开球场的卢卡答道：王八蛋。王八蛋的意思。

I would write it down. Then shut my eyes and listen to some more of the old man's rant, which went something like:

Dai, dai, dai, Albertini, dai . . . va bene, va bene, ragazzo mio, perfetto, bravo, bravo . . . Dai! Dai! Via! Via! Nella porta! Eccola, eccola, eccola, mio bravo ragazzo, caro mio, eccola, eccola, ecco—AAAHHHHHHHHH!!! VAFFANCULO!!! FIGLIO DI MIGNOTTA!! STRONZO! CAFONE! TRA-DITORE! Madonna . . . Ah, Dio mio, perché, perché, perché, questo è stupido, è una vergogna, la vergogna . . . Che casino, che bordello . . . NON HAI UN CUORE, ALBERTINI! FAI FINTA! Guarda, non è successo niente . . . Dai, dai, ah. . . . Molto migliore, Albertini, molto migliore, sì sì sì, eccola, bello, bravo, anima mia, ah, ottimo, eccola adesso . . . nella porta, nella porta, nell—VAFFANCULO!!!!!!!

我写了下来。而后闭上眼睛，继续听老人咆哮，听起来像这样：

Dai, dai, dai, Albertini, dai . . . va bene, va bene, ragazzo mio, perfetto, bravo, bravo . . . Dai! Dai! Via! Via! Nella porta! Eccola, eccola, eccola, mio bravo ragazzo, caro mio, eccola, eccola, ecco—AAAHHHHHHHHH!!! VAFFANCULO!!! FIGLIO DI MIGNOTTA!! STRONZO! CAFONE! TRA-DITORE! Madonna . . . Ah, Dio mio, perché, perché, perché, questo è stupido, è una vergogna, la vergogna . . . Che casino, che bordello . . . NON HAI UN CUORE, ALBERTINI! FAI FINTA! Guarda, non è successo niente . . . Dai, dai, ah. . . . Molto migliore, Albertini, molto migliore, sì sì sì, eccola, bello, bravo, anima mia, ah, ottimo, eccola adesso . . . nella porta, nella porta, nell—VAFFANCULO!!!!!!!