1. Only in America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

只有在美国……叫pizza比叫救护车快。

2. Only in America...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

只有在美国……残疾人专用停车位被设在滑雪道前面。

3. Only in America...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

只有在美国……药店把售药窗口设在后门，要病人绕一大圈过去买；而用前门的好位子来向正常人出售香烟。

4. Only in America...do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet Coke.

只有在美国……才有人点双份乳酪汉堡、大份炸薯条、外加一瓶无糖可乐。

5. Only in America...do banks leave both doors to the vault open and then chain the pens to the counters.

只有在美国……银行把大门全开，却把要营业的柜台封了。

6. Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

只有在美国……人们把上千美元的好车停在路边，把自家的车库用来停报废的破车。

7. Only in America...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

只有在美国……才有人用电话答录机记录下所有的来电、以防错过那些我们从一开始就不想回电的人。

8. Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

只有在美国……才有人买十个一包的热狗、八个一包的小饼。（饼是用来包热狗的，数量根本对不上号！）

9. Only in America...do we use the word "politics" to describe the process so well: Poli' in Latin meaning "many" and "tics" meaning "bloodsucking creatures".

只有在美国……才能把政治(politics)这个字的背后含义描述得如此精准：拉丁语里"poli"意思是许多，而"tics"指的是吸血的怪物。

10. Only in America...do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

只有在美国……才有专门为开车设计的自动提款机（就是不需要人下车，直接操作，像加油站的麦当劳那样），并且有可供盲人操作的布莱叶点字法。