How to Change Stressful Dinners with Kids into Precious Family Tim

让用餐时间变成你与孩子的愉快时光

Meal times are one of the cornerstones of your daily routine. They can be the most joyous part of your day or the most dreaded part of your day.

用餐是每天生活的基本要素之一，同时用餐时间既可以成为一天中最愉悦的时光，也可以成为一天中最糟糕的时光。

When you have small children it is very important that you be consistent and that they sit down to eat at roughly the same times every day. It's also important that those times are spaced far enough apart so that your kids have an appetite for what's put in front of them, but not so far apart that the run-up to every meal is marked by the kind of bad behaviour and irritability that’s triggered by hunger and low blood sugar levels.

如果你家中有小孩，那么，每天坚持在固定的时间围坐在一起吃饭就显得尤为重要。有一点值得注意的是：两次用餐之间要相隔久一点，这样，孩子在食物面前才会有食欲。但是，如果两次用餐之间间隔太久，在餐前的饥饿和低血糖又容易会养成某些坏习惯和引起易怒的情绪。

Meals though, are not just about getting the right amount and type of food into your kids at the right time. They're also occasions when your family can be together sharing news, talking over what everyone's been up to during the day, sharing successes and disappointments as well as just enjoying each other’s company.

用餐绝不并不仅仅是指喂饱小孩子，而应该是全家人可以欢聚一堂，彼此分享见闻、畅谈一天中经历的琐事、无论是谈及成功的还是失望的经历，只要能享受彼此相伴的乐趣。

My family also uses meal times to share how we helped someone or made someone smile that day.

我的家人就是在吃饭时畅谈我们当天是如何助人为乐，或如何给他人带了欢乐的。

In many families, meal times are not so enjoyable. Instead, they’re running battles to get kids to eat, behave, or just sit down at the table. How do you turn this scenario around so that mealtimes become one of your favourite times of the day with your family?

在许多家庭中，吃饭的时候并不是非常愉悦。相反，他们追逐着给小孩喂饭，或规规矩矩地围桌而坐，一言不发。如何扭转这样的局面？ 如何使得就餐时间成为你与家人的愉快时光呢?

The first step is to establish some ground rules. Here are seven rules that can help family dinners turn into precious family time:

第一步，需要建立一些基本的规则。以下的7个规则，能使你拥有一个愉快的家庭用餐时间。
1. Children should wash their hands before they eat.
2. Children need to sit at the table and not run off.
3. TV stays off during meals.
4. Children need to finish chewing before speaking.
5. No one answers the telephone during meals.
6. Children need to eat nicely – no playing with their food.
7. Children need to TRY something – if they don't like it that's fine, but they must TRY it. If they truly try something and really don't like it then they are free to eat the side dishes.
These rules are pretty simple which make it easy for you to reinforce. If your child breaks one of the rules, use this phrase:
1. 小孩子要餐前洗手；
2. 小孩子要围桌而坐，不能四处乱跑；
3. 就餐时，不要打开电视；
4. 小孩子在说话前，要充分咀嚼嘴里的食物；
5. 就餐时，不接电话；
6. 小孩子吃饭要规矩，不要玩耍食物；
7. 小孩子不要挑食。如果他们不喜欢吃某种食物，没关系，但是必须要他们先尝一下味道。如果他们实在是不喜欢，才能去吃一些别的配菜。

这些规则非常简单，所以实施起来比较容易。如果你的小孩没有遵守规则，你可以对小孩说：“爱娃（当然，你是称呼你自己孩子的名字），你必须 （在开口说话前，把嘴巴里面的食物吃完，我们不要满口食物的说话。”）

The key words here are, “You need to” and “We”. These words teach your rules and values clearly and concisely but they also join you as a family instead of placing blame or belittling. When your child hears, “We” they hear, “Oh, yeah, that’s what my family does” instead of, “I'm bad again”.

这些关键词“你必须”和“我们”，不仅清晰简明地传达了规则里所蕴含的价值。与此同时，使得每个人融入到家庭之中，而不仅仅是责备或贬低。当你的孩子听到“我们”这个词，他们听到的是“哦，原来如此，我的家人是这么做的。”而不是“我又没有做对。”

If your child continues to misbehave or break a rule after this reminder then you can use my 4 Step Discipline Technique.

如果提醒之后，小孩继续调皮捣蛋或者无视规则。那么，你可以采用我提出的四步自律原则。

A couple of other things to make sure meal time is relaxing:Ease up. Gradually give your baby (child) the opportunity to experience independence because it's what they crave. As soon as your baby can sit upright, without additional support, bring the high chair to the table. Let her feed herself as much as possible – with finger foods to start off with.When she’s big enough, give her a booster seat. Try not to make a 2 1/2 or 3 year old be stuck in a high chair drinking from a bottle or sippy cup – they are beyond this. It's okay though to have a 2 – 2 1/2 year old wear a bib until they can show you they don't need it, but try to allow them to practice being independent. Use a speaking object, if necessary. Sometimes families, larger ones especially, struggle because everyone wants to speak at the same time. Decide as a family on what object could be used to show whose turn it is to talk. It could be the salt shaker or something more special like a shell someone found on a family holiday. Pass this object around to ensure that only the person with it in front of them is speaking. Use these tips and tricks consistently and I guarantee that meal times will become one of your most favourite times of the day!

让你拥有轻松愉快的用餐时光的其它小技巧：

首先要放轻松！学会慢慢地给你的小孩提供自己进食的机会。这也是他们所渴望的。一旦你的孩子可以自己坐直，不需要额外的东西支撑时，就给他用儿童高脚椅。让他们尽可能开始自己用手指拿食物进食。当她足够大之后，给她用主推座椅。不要试图把两岁半或三岁的小孩放在高脚椅中用瓶子或者宝宝吸光杯喝东西，因为这已经超出他们的能力。可以给两岁或两岁半的小孩系上围兜，直到他们不在需要为止，但是要试着让他们训练独立的能力。

其次，如果有需要的话，说话前需要拿到代表具有说话权的快递物。有时候，家中的长辈感到很困扰。因为每个人都试图在同一个时间点来表达想法。作为家庭中的一员，可以用传递物品决定轮到谁开始发言。比如：用盐瓶或比较特别的物品，像家庭海边度假时发现的贝壳。通过传递这些物品，只有当物品传递到你面前是才能发言。

只有你持之以恒的运用这些技巧，我能保证您的用餐时间将成为你一天中最美好的时刻。