Divorce No Ticket to Happiness

Unhappily married couples often get lots of advice and a report released recently offered some more: don't divorce, stick it out. Researchers from the University of Chicago and other schools concluded that the couples who avoided divorcing despite an unhappy marriage ended up just as happy five years later as those who had split up. Interviews with a subset of the 5,232 married adults surveyed in the 1980s and again five years later found those who found happiness discovered the sources of conflict such as money, depression, and even infidelity eased with time. Others reported they got better at getting along, sometimes enlisting help from relatives or counselors ?nbsp;or by threatening divorce. Others found ways to be happier individually in spite of their mediocre marriages. But divorce sets in motion events over which an individual has little control, such as the reactions of spouses and children, as well as the uncertainty of new relationships. "Staying married is not just for the children's sake. Some divorce is necessary, but results like these suggest the benefits of divorce have been oversold," said University of Chicago sociologist Linda Waite, lead author of the report.

婚姻不幸的配偶总能得到许多忠告，最近公布的一份报告中又有新的建议：别离婚，坚持到底。来自芝加哥大学及其他学校的研究者们得出结论，那些尽管琴瑟不调也不离婚的夫妇在5年后与那些选择分道扬镳的人过得一样好。研究者们在80年代调查了5232名已婚人士并在5年后进行了复查。与他们中一部分人的访谈表明，那些觅得幸福的人发现钱财纠纷、失望情绪甚至不忠行为等家庭冲突的导火索会随时间流逝而淡化。另一些人说他们比以前更懂得相处之道，有时也寻求亲戚和婚恋顾问的帮助——或者用威胁离婚来改善关系。有些人尽管鱼水不欢，但也找到了自得其乐的方法。而离婚引发的后果是个人无法控制的，比如配偶和孩子的反应，以及新关系的不确定性等等。报告主笔、芝加哥大学社会学家琳达·韦特说：“维持婚姻不仅仅是为了孩子。有些情形下离婚是必须的，但像这样的（调查）结果表明离婚的好处被夸大了。”