the Child in the Grave

by Hans Christian Andersen（1859）

　　IT was a very sad day， and every heart in the house felt the deepest grief； for the youngest child， a boy of four years old， the joy and hope of his parents， was dead. Two daughters， the elder of whom was going to be confirmed， still remained： they were both good， charming girls； but the lost child always seems the dearest； and when it is youngest， and a son， it makes the trial still more heavy. The sisters mourned as young hearts can mourn， and were especially grieved at the sight of their parents' sorrow. The father's heart was bowed down， but the mother sunk completely under the deep grief. Day and night she had attended to the sick child， nursing and carrying it in her bosom， as a part of herself. She could not realize the fact that the child was dead， and must be laid in a coffin to rest in the ground. She thought God could not take her darling little one from her； and when it did happen notwithstanding her hopes and her belief， and there could be no more doubt on the subject， she said in her feverish agony， “God does not know it. He has hard-hearted ministering spirits on earth， who do according to their own will， and heed not a mother's prayers.” Thus in her GREat grief she fell away from her faith in God， and dark thoughts arose in her mind respecting death and a future state. She tried to believe that man was but dust， and that with his life all existence ended. But these doubts were no support to her， nothing on which she could rest， and she sunk into the fathomless depths of despair. In her darkest hours she ceased to weep， and thought not of the young daughters who were still left to her. The tears of her husband fell on her forehead， but she took no notice of him； her thoughts were with her dead child； her whole existence seemed wrapped up in the remembrances of the little one and of every innocent word it had uttered.

　　the day of the little child's funeral came. For nights previously the mother had not slept， but in the morning twilight of this day she sunk from weariness into a deep sleep； in the mean time the coffin was carried into a distant room， and there nailed down， that she might not hear the blows of the hammer. When she awoke， and wanted to see her child， the husband， with tears， said， “We have closed the coffin； it was necessary to do so.”

　　“When God is so hard to me， how can I expect men to be better？” she said with groans and tears.

　　the coffin was carried to the grave， and the disconsolate mother sat with her young daughters. She looked at them， but she saw them not； for her thoughts were far away from the domestic hearth. She gave herself up to her grief， and it tossed her to and fro， as the sea tosses a ship without compass or rudder. So the day of the funeral passed away， and similar days followed， of dark， wearisome pain. With tearful eyes and mournful glances， the sorrowing daughters and the afflicted husband looked upon her who would not hear their words of comfort； and， indeed， what comforting words could they speak， when they were themselves so full of grief？ It seemed as if she would never again know sleep， and yet it would have been her best friend， one who would have strengthened her body and poured peace into her soul. They at last persuaded her to lie down， and then she would lie as still as if she slept.

　　One night， when her husband listened， as he often did， to her breathing， he quite believed that she had at length found rest and relief in sleep. He folded his arms and prayed， and soon sunk himself into healthful sleep； therefore he did not notice that his wife arose， threw on her clothes， and glided silently from the house， to go where her thoughts constantly lingered—to the grave of her child. She passed through the garden， to a path across a field that led to the churchyard. No one saw her as she walked， nor did she see any one； for her eyes were fixed upon the one object of her wanderings. It was a lovely starlight night in the beginning of September， and the air was mild and still. She entered the churchyard， and stood by the little grave， which looked like a large nosegay of fragrant flowers. She sat down， and bent her head low over the grave， as if she could see her child through the earth that covered him—her little boy， whose smile was so vividly before her， and the gentle expression of whose eyes， even on his sick-bed， she could not forget. How full of meaning that glance had been， as she leaned over him， holding in hers the pale hand which he had no longer strength to raise！ As she had sat by his little cot， so now she sat by his grave； and here she could weep freely， and her tears fell upon it.

　　“Thou wouldst gladly go down and be with thy child，” said a voice quite close to her，—a voice that sounded so deep and clear， that it went to her heart.

　　She looked up， and by her side stood a man wrapped in a black cloak， with a hood closely drawn over his face； but her keen glance could distinguish the face under the hood. It was stern， yet awakened confidence， and the eyes beamed with youthful radiance.

　　“Down to my child，” she repeated； and tones of despair and entreaty sounded in the words.

　　“Darest thou to follow me？” asked the form. “I am Death.”

　　She bowed her head in token of assent. then suddenly it appeared as if all the stars were shining with the radiance of the full moon on the many-colored flowers that decked the grave. The earth that covered it was drawn back like a floating drapery. She sunk down， and the spectre covered her with a black cloak； night closed around her， the night of death. She sank deeper than the spade of the sexton could penetrate， till the churchyard became a roof above her. Then the cloak was removed， and she found herself in a large hall， of wide-spreading dimensions， in which there was a subdued light， like twilight， reigning， and in a moment her child appeared before her， smiling， and more beautiful than ever； with a silent cry she pressed him to her heart. A glorious strain of music sounded—now distant， now near. Never had she listened to such tones as these； they came from beyond a large dark curtain which separated the regions of death from the land of eternity.

　　“My sweet， darling mother，” she heard the child say. It was the well-known， beloved voice； and kiss followed kiss， in boundless delight. Then the child pointed to the dark curtain. “There is nothing so beautiful on earth as it is here. Mother， do you not see them all？ Oh， it is happiness indeed.”

　　But the mother saw nothing of what the child pointed out， only the dark curtain. She looked with earthly eyes， and could not see as the child saw，—he whom God has called to be with Himself. She could hear the sounds of music， but she heard not the words， the Word in which she was to trust.

　　“I can fly now， mother，” said the child； “I can fly with other happy children into the presence of the Almighty. I would fain fly away now； but if you weep for me as you are weeping now， you may never see me again. And yet I would go so gladly. May I not fly away？ And you will come to me soon， will you not， dear mother？”

　　“Oh， stay， stay！” implored the mother； “only one moment more； only once more， that I may look upon thee， and kiss thee， and press thee to my heart.”

　　then she kissed and fondled her child. Suddenly her name was called from above； what could it mean？ her name uttered in a plaintive voice.

　　“Hearest thou？” said the child. “It is my father who calls thee.” And in a few moments deep sighs were heard， as of children weeping. “They are my sisters，” said the child. “Mother， surely you have not forgotten them.”

　　And then she remembered those she left behind， and a GREat terror came over her. She looked around her at the dark night. Dim forms flitted by. She seemed to recognize some of them， as they floated through the regions of death towards the dark curtain， where they vanished. Would her husband and her daughters flit past？ No； their sighs and lamentations still sounded from above； and she had nearly forgotten them， for the sake of him who was dead.

　　“Mother， now the bells of heaven are ringing，” said the child； “mother， the sun is going to rise.”

　　An overpowering light streamed in upon her， the child had vanished， and she was being borne upwards. All around her became cold； she lifted her head， and saw that she was lying in the churchyard， on the grave of her child. The Lord， in a dream， had been a guide to her feet and a light to her spirit. She bowed her knees， and prayed for forgiveness. She had wished to keep back a soul from its immortal flight； she had forgotten her duties towards the living who were left her. And when she had offered this prayer， her heart felt lighter. The sun burst forth， over her head a little bird carolled his song， and the church-bells sounded for the early service. Everything around her seemed holy， and her heart was chastened. She acknowledged the goodness of God， she acknowledged the duties she had to perform， and eagerly she returned home. She bent over her husband， who still slept； her warm， devoted kiss awakened him， and words of heartfelt love fell from the lips of both. Now she was gentle and strong as a wife can be； and from her lips came the words of faith： “Whatever He doeth is right and best.”

　　then her husband asked， “From whence hast thou all at once derived such strength and comforting faith？”

　　And as she kissed him and her children， she said， “It came from God， through my child in the grave.”

　　屋子里充满哀伤，心中充满哀伤，最幼小的孩子，一个四岁的男孩，这家人唯一的儿子，父母的欢乐和希望，死掉了。他们诚然还有两个女儿，最大的一个恰恰在今年该参加向上帝表示终身坚信的仪式了，两个都是很可爱的好姑娘。可是这最小的孩子却总是最受疼爱的，他最小，还是一个儿子。这是一场严峻的考验。姐姐们极为悲痛，就像任何年轻的心的悲痛一样，她们的父母的痛楚特别使她们揪心。父亲的腰弯下了，母亲被这巨大的悲伤压垮了。她整天围着这病孩子转，照料他，搂着他，抱着他。她感觉他是她的一部分。她不相信他死了，不肯让他躺进棺材埋进坟里。上帝不能把这个孩子从她身边带走，她这样认为：在事情仍然如此发生，成了事实的时候，她在极度痛苦中说道：“上帝知道这件事情！世上有他的没有心肝的仆从，他们为所欲为，他们不听一位母亲的祈祷。”

　　在痛楚中她离开了上帝。於是黑暗的思想，死亡，人在泥土中化作泥土的永恆死亡的想法，在她心中出现了；接着一切便都完了。在这样的思想中她失去了依附，而陷入迷惘的无底深渊中去了。　　　　在这最沉痛的时刻，她再也哭不出了。她不想自己年幼的女儿。男人的泪水滴到她的额头，她不抬眼看他。她的思想完全专注在那死去的孩子身上，她的整个生命，她的生存都沉缅在唤回对孩子的点点记忆中，唤回他的每一句天真的话语中。

　　安葬的日子到来了。之前的几个夜晚她完全没有入睡。那天清晨时分，她疲倦到了极点，略为休息了一会儿。就在这时，棺材被抬到一间偏僻的屋子里，棺盖在那儿被钉上，为的是不让她听到鎯头的响声。

　　她醒过来的时候，站起来要去看她的孩子。男人含着眼泪对她说：“我们已经把棺盖钉上了。不得不这样！”“连上帝对我都这样狠，”她喊道，“人对我还会好得了多少！”她抽泣痛哭。

　　棺材被抬到了坟地，痛苦绝望的母亲和她的年幼的女儿在一起。她望着她们，但却没有瞧见她们，她的思想里已经再没有甚么家了。她完全被哀伤所控制，哀伤在撞击着她，就像海洋在撞击一条失去了舵、失去了控制的船一样。安葬那天便这样过去了，之后几天也是在这种同样沉重的痛苦中度过的。全家人都用湿润的眼睛和忧伤的目光望着她，她听不到他们安慰她的语言。他们又能说甚么呢，他们也是悲伤得很的。

　　就好像她已经不懂得甚么是睡眠了。现在只有睡眠才是她最好的朋友，它能使她的身躯重新获得力量，使她的心灵得到安宁。他们劝她躺到床上，她确也像一个睡眠的人一样躺着。一天夜里，男人听着她的呼吸，相信她已经在休息、精神已经松弛下来。於是他把自己的手叠上，祈祷，然后便很快睡着了。他没有觉察到她爬了起来，把衣服披在身上，然后静悄悄地走出屋子，走向她日夜想念的那个地方，走向埋着她孩子的地方。她走过自家屋舍的院子，走到了田野里，那里有小路绕过城通到教堂的坟园。谁也没有看见她，她也没有看见任何人。

　　那是九月初，一个满天繁星的美好夜晚，空气还很柔和。她走进了教堂墓地，走到那座小小的坟前。这坟就像唯一一个大花环，花儿散发着芳香。她坐下来，把头垂向坟墓，就好像她能够透过密实的土层看到她的孩子似的。孩子的微笑还是那样活灵活现地存在於她的记忆中。他眼中那亲切的表情，即便是在病床上，也都是永远不能被忘记的。在她弯身向他，拉着他自己无力举起的手的时候，他的目光就像在倾诉一样。就像坐在他的床边一样，她现在坐在他的坟旁，眼泪在不由自主地流淌，都落到了坟上。“你想到下面你孩子的身边去吧！”身旁有一个声音这样说道。这声音清晰极了，很深沉，一直响到她的心里。她抬头望了望，看见身旁站着一个男人，他身上裹着很大的哀丧大氅，帽子盖过了头。不过，她还是从帽子下看到了他的面孔，十分严峻，很能引起人的信任。他的眼睛闪闪发光，就好像他还是一个青年。“到下面我的孩子身边！”她重複了一遍，声音中露出一种犹豫的祈望。“你敢随我去吗？”那身形问道。“我是死神！”

　　她点头作了肯定的表示，忽然一下子，就好像上面所有的星星都散发着满圆的月亮散发的那种亮光。她看见坟上的五颜六色的绚丽的花朵，泥层变得松软柔和，像一块飘忽的布。她下沉了，那身形把他的黑大氅摊开裹住她，已经是夜晚了，是死神的夜晚。她深深地沉了下去，比掘墓的锄挖的还要深，教堂的坟园像一片屋顶似地覆盖在她的头上。

　　大氅的一个边滑向一旁，她站在一个宏大的厅里，大厅向四边延伸很远，有一种友善的气氛。四周瀰漫着一片昏暗，突然之间，孩子在她面前出现。她把孩子紧紧地抱到她的胸前。孩子对她微笑，那笑的美丽是前所未有过的。她高声地喊了起来，可是声音却听不见。因为此时有一阵宏亮的音乐，先在她近身的地方，接着又在远处响了起来。从来没有这样令她感到幸福的声音在她的耳畔响过。这声音在漆黑密实的挂帘的那边响荡着，那挂帘把大厅和那巨大的永恆的土地隔开了。“我亲爱的妈妈！我的亲妈妈！”她听她的孩子在说。这是那熟悉、可爱的声音。在无穷无尽的幸福之中，她一次又一次地亲吻着他。孩子用手指着那漆黑的挂帘。“尘世上没有这样的幸福！你瞧见了吗，妈妈！你瞧见所有的那些人了吗！这是幸福！”

　　可是，在孩子所指的地方，除去茫茫黑夜之外，母亲甚么也没有看见。她是用尘世的眼在看，不能像这个被上帝召去的孩子那样看。她听到了声音，乐音，但是她听不到那些她应该相信的话。“我现在能飞了，妈妈！”孩子说道，“和其他所有快乐的孩子一起，一直飞进那边，到上帝那里去。我很想去。可是在你哭的时候，像你现在这样哭的时候，我是不能离开你的。可我多想啊！我要是可以，该多么好啊！要知道，你不用多久，也会去到那边我那里的，亲爱的妈妈！”“哦，留下吧！哦，留下吧！”她说道，“只再呆一小会儿！我要再看你一遍，吻你，把你紧紧地抱在我的胳膊里！”她吻他，紧紧地抱着他。这时从上面传来了呼唤她名字的声音，这些声音充满了哀怨。到底是怎么回事！“你听见了吗！”孩子说道，“那是爸爸在呼唤你！”接着，只歇了一小会儿，又传来深深的歎息，像是孩子在哭。“这是我的两个姐姐！”孩子说道，“妈妈，你当然没有忘记她们吧！”

　　於是她记起了尚存留世上的几个人，一丝不安掠过她的心头。她朝自己的前边望去，总有几个摇曳的身形走过，她觉得她认识几个。他们游过死亡的大厅，朝那漆黑的挂帘走去，在那儿消失掉。是不是看见的身形中有她的男人，她的两个女儿？不是，他们的喊声，他们的歎息还是从上面传来。她差一点为了这亡故的人而把他们忘记掉了。“妈妈，天国的钟声响起来了！”孩子说道。“妈妈，现在太阳升起来了！”

　　这时朝她射来了一股极强烈的光，——孩子不见了，她升了上来——她四周很冷。她抬起自己的头瞧了一瞧，看见她躺在教堂坟园自己孩子的墓上。但是在梦中上帝成了支持她腿脚的力量，成为她的理智的一道光线。她跪下去，祈祷着：“原谅我，我的上帝！我竟想让一个永恆的魂灵不飞走，我竟会忘却我对你给我留下的倖存者的职责！”作完这些祈祷之后，她的心似乎宽松下来。这时太阳喷薄升起，一只小鸟在她的头上歌唱，教堂的钟声响起来了，像一曲晨歌。四周是圣洁的，她的心中也是同样的圣洁！她认识了自己的上帝，她认识了自己的职责，在急切中她赶着回到家里。她弯身朝向自己的男人，她的热烈、衷诚的吻搅醒了他，他们会心地、诚挚地交谈。她恰如一个妻子一样地坚强、温顺，她的身上又产生了巨大的信心。

　　上帝的意志永远是最好的！

　　男人问她：“你从哪里一下子就得到了这种力量、这种慰人的精神？”

　　这时她吻了他，吻了她的两个孩子：“我在孩子的坟墓那里，从上帝那里得到的。”