Chapter XX
第二十章
The struggle for admission to college was ended, and I could now enter Radcliffe whenever I pleased. Before I entered college, however, it was thought best that I should study another year under Mr. Keith. It was not, therefore, until the fall of 1900 that my dream of going to college was realized.
为踏入大学校门所做的拼搏结束了，现在，只要我愿意，我随时都可以进入拉德克利夫学院。然而，在入学之前，人们认为最为稳妥的计划，就是我应该在凯斯先生门下再学一年。因此，直到1900年秋天，我才实现了上大学的梦想。
I remember my first day at Radcliffe. It was a day full of interest for me. I had looked forward to it for years. A potent force within me, stronger than the persuasion of my friends, stronger even than the pleadings of my heart, had impelled me to try my strength by the standards of those who see and hear. I knew that there were obstacles in the way; but I was eager to overcome them. I had taken to heart the words of the wise Roman who said, "To be banished from Rome is but to live outside of Rome." Debarred from the great highways of knowledge, I was compelled to make the journey across country by unfrequented roads—that was all; and I knew that in college there were many bypaths where I could touch hands with girls who were thinking, loving and struggling like me.
我仍然记得入学第一天的情景，对我而言，那真是兴味盎然的一天。我期盼这一天已经很多年了。在我心里蕴涵着一股强大的力量，它比朋友们的规劝更具有说服力，它甚至比我内心的祈求更加强烈，它驱策我竭尽全力向那些耳目功能俱全的正常人看齐。我深知行路艰难，但是我有克服一切困难的雄心。我将睿智的古罗马格言铭记于心：“虽然被逐出罗马，却依旧活在罗马城下。”我已被阻挡在知识的大道之外，那么我只能迫使自己穿越人迹罕至的乡村小路——这就是我所做的一切。我当然知道大学里面遍布着许多条这样的小路，在行进途中，我用双手触摸到的姑娘们都怀着和我一样的心理，她们勤于思考，热爱知识，而且斗志昂扬。
I began my studies with eagerness. Before me I saw a new world opening in beauty and light, and I felt within me the capacity to know all things. In the wonderland of Mind I should be as free as another. Its people, scenery, manners, joys, tragedies should be living, tangible interpreters of the real world. The lecture-halls seemed filled with the spirit of the great and the wise, and I thought the professors were the embodiment of wisdom. If I have since learned differently, I am not going to tell anybody.
我满怀激情地开始了我的大学生涯。在我面前，我看到了一个光明而美丽的新世界；内心深处，我已经做好了接纳一切知识的准备。在神奇的精神王国里，我会拥有像其他人一样的自由。这个王国的子民、风景、习俗、欢乐和悲伤也应该是鲜活而真切的。这里的讲堂挤满了伟大而睿智的灵魂，我把讲台上的教授们视做智慧的化身。
But I soon discovered that college was not quite the romantic lyceum I had imagined. Many of the dreams that had delighted my young inexperience became beautifully less and "faded into the light of common day." Gradually I began to find that there were disadvantages in going to college.
但是我很快就发现大学并非如我想象的那样浪漫。我那年幼无知的美丽梦想随即变得暗淡无光，如同平淡无奇地过日子。渐渐地，我开始感受到了上大学的种种不利因素。
The one I felt and still feel most is lack of time. I used to have time to think, to reflect, my mind and I. We would sit together of an evening and listen to the inner melodies of the spirit, which one hears only in leisure moments when the words of some loved poet touch a deep, sweet chord in the soul that until then had been silent. But in college there is no time to commune with one's thoughts. One goes to college to learn, it seems, not to think. When one enters the portals of learning, one leaves the dearest pleasures—solitude, books and imagination—outside with the whispering pines. I suppose I ought to find some comfort in the thought that I am laying up treasures for future enjoyment, but I am improvident enough to prefer present joy to hoarding riches against a rainy day.
令我感触最深的是时间不够用。过去，我习惯于利用时间来思考问题或表达观点。我们会在某个夜晚围坐在一起，倾听发自心灵的歌声，只有在悠闲恬静的时刻，你才能听到诗一般的旋律在深深地拨动着灵魂的心弦。但是在大学里，你没有时间同自己的思想谈心。你上大学就是为学习来的，似乎并不是为了思考而来的。一旦你步入学习的大门，你就要把最钟情的乐趣——独处、书籍和幻想——连同飒飒作响的松树一起留在外面。我想我应该从思想中寻找到一些慰藉，并以此作为我未来幸福的积蓄。但问题是我没有足够的资本来支取当下的快乐，因而也不可能储存对抗凄风苦雨的财富。