作品原文

林万里 《警察与小偷》

门铃响了。不久，女佣跑进屋里对我说：“先生，不知道发生什么事，警察来找你。”
我出去一看，来了一位警察。警察后面还站着一个人，鼻青脸肿，双手被手铐锁住。警察见了我，就把手里提着的一台收音机摇晃几下说道：“先生，请你仔细看一看，这个东西是你们家的吗？”
“不是不是，我们家没有这种东西。”我赶紧回答。其实我心里清楚，警察手里的收音机是去年买给孩子的生日礼物。半个月前被人偷走的，这时我不能承认，一承认麻烦的事就多了。
警察指着小偷说：“他在警察局里已招供了，收音机是他翻墙进入你们屋里偷的。你还敢否认，那你可以亲自问问他，你们家里入贼失财不报案是犯法的。难道你不懂法律吗？若你不认错，那只好麻烦你跟我到警察局走一趟，在那里，你有道理可以慢慢讲。我们录一下口供。案件就转去法庭候审。”说得多神气。
“这点小事，我们在这里解决好吗？”我心里想，不在家里解决，到了警察局事情会更麻烦。
“先生，你是明理的人，好来好去，双方愿意，当然可以在这里解决。我不兜圈子，一句话，你给我三十万盾，算是销案费。瞧，多简单。”
“三十万太多了，可以少一点吗？那种收音机，现在买新的也只不过九万盾。”
“一分钱不能少。不要讨价还价。我们之间不是在做生意。你要想清楚，我是来帮你摆脱困境，是救人性质。我是来救你的。”多好听。
我看没办法只好答应：“好，给你三十万盾。收音机就归还给我，是吗？”
“那不行，收音机是物证。人赃俱在才能抓人。没有了收音机，我凭什么抓他？”说着看了一眼小偷。
算我倒霉，东西被窃拿不出来，还得被勒索三十万盾。
警察从我手里收了钞票后，在我眼前一张一张点算起来。点完了便对我说：“谢谢你，以后再发生类似的事情，一定要到警察局报案。请你记住。”谁不知道报案要花钱的。
对警察我没有什么话可说，只能把晦气发泄在小偷身上，指着小偷的鼻子说：“你以后再翻墙爬进我家里偷东西，千万不要再被警察抓住，请你记住。”

作品译文

The Policeman and the Thief
Lin Wanli

The doorbell was ringing. After a while, the maidservant ran into my room and said, "Sir, I don’t know what happened. The policeman is here."
I went out. Indeed, a policeman stood outside and behind him was a man whose face had been badly battered and whose hands were cuffed. The policeman waved the radio in his hand and asked me, "Sir, please have a close look at it. Is this yours?"
"No, no, we haven’t such a radio." I quickly replied. As a matter of fact, I bought that radio last year and sent it to my kid as a birthday present. 15 days ago, it was stolen. For fear of incurring any troubles I didn’t want to claim for it now.
The policeman pointed at the thief and said, "He has already confessed that he climbed over the wall and stole it in your house. Now that you disavow it, you’d better ask him in person. Not reporting the burglary or property loss to the police station is illegal. Don’t you know any law? If you insist on your mistake, please follow me to the police station where you can talk about your reasons. We’ll record your words and the case will be transferred to the legal court." He said in an arrogant manner.
"Sir, you are a sensible man, and of course we can settle it here if you like. I don’t feel like beating about the bush. Let me put it directly: You give me 300,000 dongs as the close-case fee. Look, what a simple method!"
"It is too much. Charge me less, OK? You know a new radio of that kind only costs 90,000 dongs." "A penny less is impossible. No bargain. We are not doing business trade here. You’d better know I am here to relieve you of your trouble, namely, I am saving you." How fair-sounding!
"Impossible! The radio is the material evidence. Without it how could I catch him?" The policeman turned his head and looked at the thief.
I was down on my luck! The stolen radio was gone, plus, I was blackmailed for 300,000 dongs.
Taking over the money, the policeman began to count it in front of me. Having finished counting, he said to me, "Thanks! If the similar thing happens in the future, don’t forget to report it to the police station. Please bear it in mind." Everyone knew that the case-reporting cost money!
I said nothing to him, but turned to pour my whammy and anger onto that thief. Pointing at his nose, I shouted, "In the future, if you have an opportunity to climb over the wall and steal in my house, do remember not to be caught by the police. Please bear it in mind."