I'm sure that you'll understand, Mr Jeffreys, that we cannot guarantee one hundred percent that everybody will lose weight. Well, you should change your advertising then. Anyway, both the speedometer and the heart controller broke, and then one day the pedals broke and I had a serious accident. I pulled a muscle and had to take three days off work. I'm extremely sorry to hear that, Mr Jeffreys. So you should be! On top of that, when I took the bike back to the shop, the manager was extremely rude. I understand how you feel, Mr Jeffreys, and I'm sure we can...
I'd like a complete refund and compensation for the injuries I received using your product. Unless I receive it, I'll have to take legal action. Well, let me apologise for your experiences with the "Tour de France" exercise bike. We have sold thousands and this is the first complaint we have received. What I need are not just apologies but compensation.