This was my own experience reading the two writers who have influenced me the most, Sigmund Freud and Ralph Waldo Emerson. They gave words to thoughts and feelings that I had never been able to render myself. They shone a light onto the world and what they saw, suddenly I saw, too. From Emerson I learned to trust my own thoughts, to trust them even when every voice seems to be on the other side. I need the wherewithal, as Emerson did, to say what's on my mind and to take the inevitable hits. Much more I learned from the sage—about character, about loss, about joy, about writing and its secret sources, but Emerson most centrally preaches the gospel of self-reliance and that is what I have tried most to take from him. I continue to hold in mind one of Emerson's most memorable passages: "Society is a joint-stock company, in which the members agree, for the better securing of his bread to each shareholder, to surrender the liberty and culture of the eater. The virtue in most request is conformity. Self-reliance is its aversion. It loves not realities and creators, but names and customs."
以下是我阅读对我影响最深的两位作家——西格蒙德·弗洛伊德和拉尔夫·沃尔多·爱默生作品的体验。他们描述了我自己永远无法描述的思想和感受，他们给世界投去一束光，照亮他们所看见的事物，突然，我也看见了。爱默生教会我相信自己的想法，甚至当所有的声音似乎都在反对的时候依然相信它们。和爱默生一样，我需要阐述自己想法并承担无法避免的损失的能力。我从圣贤那儿学到更多的是——关于性格、失败、快乐、写作及其神秘源泉——但是爱默生集中宣扬的是自立的福音，而自立是我付出诸多努力想要从他那儿承袭来的品质。我依然记得爱默生最经典的一段话：“社会是一家股份制公司，每个成员之间都达成协议——为了向每个股东提供食物时能更有把握，就必须将其他吃饭的人的自由和教养消除。其中最必备的美德就是服从。自立却是让它深恶痛绝的东西。真相和创造者，这不是社会所喜欢的东两，它喜欢的是名义和传统的规矩。”
Emerson's greatness lies not only in showing you how powerful names and customs can be, but also in demonstrating how exhilarating it is to buck them. When he came to Harvard to talk about religion, he shocked the professors and students by challenging the divinity of Jesus and the truth of his miracles. He wasn't invited back for decades.
爱默生的伟大不仅仅在于向你们展示名义和规矩的力量之大，还在于向你们示范抵抗名义和规矩是多么令人振奋。当他前往哈佛大学对宗教这一话题展开演讲的时候，教授们和学生们都被他吓坏了，他竟然挑战耶稣的神圣性和其神迹的真实性，此后几十年，他再没有收到哈佛的邀请。
From Freud I found a great deal to ponder as well. Freud was a speculative essayist and interpreter of the human condition. He challenges nearly every significant human ideal. He goes after religion. He says that it comes down to the longing for the father. He goes after love. He calls it "the overestimation of the erotic object." He attacks our desire for charismatic popular leaders. We're drawn to them because we hunger for absolute authority. He declares that dreams don't predict the future. They're disguised fulfillments of repressed wishes.
而从弗洛伊德那儿我也发观了许多值得深思的事情。弗洛伊德善于推测并对人类状态进行解读。他几乎对每一条重要的人类理想都提出挑战，他追逐宗教，他说这归根结底是对父亲的热切企盼。他研究爱情，将其称作“对性爱对象的高估”。他抨击我们对富有魅力、受欢迎的领导人的渴望，我们被他们吸引是因为我们渴求绝对的权力。他宣称梦境无法预测未来，它们不过是被压抑的欲望的伪装。