Learn How to Listen

　　The people in the room were tense. Five young engineers were sitting with their boss. They were trying to settle details of an important new plant site for a major client.

　　Suddenly one of the young engineers gave what he thought was a good solution to the problem. What he had to say was greeted by an uncomfortable silence. The boss then laughingly pointed out that the same proposal had been made and turned down some minutes before.

　　The incident seemed funny at the time. But several months later it didn't. After the project had been successfully finished, most of the engineers who had worked on it were promoted. But the young man who had made a fool of himself at the meeting was passed over.

　　What had happened? The young engineer swore that he had never heard the proposal made and rejected. He was right. He was a victim of a bad listening habit that he didn't know he had.

　　Bad listening habits can hurt you a lot in your daily living. Much of your success, both in your work and social life, is related to how you listen. A number of major industries and more than twenty leading colleges have become very concerned about our bad listening habits. They have set up "listening clinics" and courses to find out what is wrong. And what to do about it! Why You Must Hear Correctly

　　My own experience as a teacher in one of these clinics has taught me that many people who seem to be listening miss important points. Therefore, they draw wrong conclusions from what is said. That is a serious problem when you consider our attitudes toward other people and success on the job. These attitudes are shaped more by the persuasive spoken word than by any other means of communication.

　　What are the faulty hearing habits that hurt us in so many ways? Here are some of the more common ones I've observed in a close study of my many clinic students.

　　Our minds won't wait. Our thoughts can race along from four to ten times.

　　faster than most people speak. So, while we are waiting for the words to come in, our thoughts tend to go off on a tangent(突然改变想法) And sometimes they remain away too long.

　　Your boss, perhaps, is discussing a situation with you. You want to hear it all. But what happens? Your mind tunes out. It comes back and tunes out again. Why doesn't someone kill that fly? I wonder who just came into the other room? Suddenly a few words come through. "Since you agree with my suggestion," your boss says. . . What did he suggest? Such tuning-out gaps are common—and sometimes costly.