Forget flowers and chocolates. Some urban guys are now learning that the way to a woman's heart is not through giving presents or displays of natural charm. Instead, it's a skill – with rules to be learnt, theory to be studied and practice to be done.

将鲜花和巧克力抛到脑后吧。一些生活在城市中的男孩们现在终于明白，要掳获女生芳心，赠送礼物或展现天生个人魅力已不再管用。其实“把妹”是一种技能，它有规可循，有理可学并可付诸实践。

We're talking about professional pick-up artists (PUAs), or at least those men who follow the rules set down by these so-called experts.

我们要说的便是“把妹达人”，换而言之，就是那些奉行由所谓的恋爱专家所制定的规则的男士。

"There is a severe lack of love education in China," said Wu Jiamin, or Tango, 26, a Chinese-American PUA in Beijing.

来自北京的26岁美籍华人吴嘉民（音译）（英文名为Tango）表示：“中国严重缺乏恋爱教育。”

As a result, "boot camps"where shy, awkward wallflowers can learn to become love machines have mushroomed in major cities. PUA boot camps originated in the US, and usually attract rich, personable and well-educated urban professionals.

于是，“把妹达人训练营”便如雨后春笋般在各大城市出现。这样的训练营可以让那些羞涩愚钝的恋爱菜鸟摇身变为把妹达人。把妹达人训练营源于美国，通常受到富有、帅气、受过良好教育的城市精英们追捧。

The price of a three-day course, which usually includes workshops and real-life hook-up training, ranges from 2,500 to 4,500 yuan.

一个为期三天，包含讲习班及把妹实战培训的课程价格从2500元到4500元不等。

For men aged between 20 and 45, finding a woman is becoming an urgent mission. According to the National Population and Family Planning Commission, there will be 30 million more men in that age category than women in China in 2020.

对于年龄在20-45岁之间的男士来说，找对象成了当务之急。据全国人口和计划生育委员会统计，截止到2020年，中国处于该年龄段的男性数量会比女性多出3000万人。

The desperation to mix with the opposite sex is clear from the number of dating shows on television this year. Often, though, men play the passive supporting roles in these programs.

从今年荧屏上婚恋交友电视节目的数量就可以明显看出人们想要觅得另一半的迫切愿望。尽管大多数时候，男士在此类节目中扮演的只是被动的配角。

"Men seldom admit that they have dating problems. Their self-confidence is *fragile like an egg," said Wu.

吴嘉民说：“男人们很少承认自己在恋爱方面存在问题。他们的自信就像鸡蛋一样不堪一击。”

However, Le Jia, 35, a relationship consultant on You Are the One (《非诚勿扰》), Jiangsu TV's popular dating show, says that dating programs provide chances for young men. However, many don't know how to present themselves properly. This is where the PUA boot camps come in, teaching men skills as diverse as grooming and speaking.

但是，江苏卫视大型婚恋交友节目《非诚勿扰》的婚恋顾问，35岁的乐嘉却认为交友节目为年轻男士创造了机会。然而，很多男士并不懂如何恰当地表现自己。这也正是成立“把妹达人训练营”的初衷。训练营所教授的技巧种类繁多，从穿着打扮到言谈举止，包罗万象。

In a PUA class, men learn that the standard reply to the woman's "Why do you like me?" is: "Well, there are so many beautiful women here, but you are the only one with a friendly vibe. I really want to talk to you."

通过培训，男士们学到了应对女士们“你为什么喜欢我？”这个问题的标准答案，那就是“好吧，虽然这里美女如云，但你却是唯一一个具有亲和力的。我真的很想跟你聊聊。”

"First, you beat her pride a little bit by saying there are many beauties. Then you praise her in a comfortable way,"said Tango, referring to a classic technique called a "neg".

“首先，你说这儿有很多美女，便轻微地打击了她的自信。然后，你采用让她愉悦的方式夸奖她。”

Tango称这是一种被称为“先抑后扬”的经典手段。

But what happens once a guy gets the girl's number?
但一旦男孩得到了女孩的电话号码，接下去会怎样呢？

PUAs say that their techniques, though good, aren't a guarantee of long-term success in a relationship. Wu claims that men often sour possible relationships by paying for everything and basically making themselves "slaves".

把妹达人们表示，虽然他们的技巧屡试不爽，但却并不能保证收获长远的恋情。吴嘉民称，男士们常常会为一切买单，大体上让自己沦为“爱情奴隶”，因而搞砸一段原本有希望的恋情。

"Do you leave any space for her to show her love?" said Wu.

吴嘉民说：“你有没有给对方留出空间，来展现她的爱呢？”

For Ruan Qi, 41, a Beijing-based dating adviser, dating should be enjoyable and not damaged with material worries and concerns. It attracts him to study the trade.

来自北京的恋爱顾问，41岁的阮齐（音译）认为，恋爱应该是令人身心愉悦的，不应该为物质所累。这一点让他对研究恋爱技巧产生了兴趣。

"I believe men should enjoy the whole process of dating and loving. Money should not be the *overriding factor," said Ruan.
阮齐说：“我认为男士们应该享受约会、恋爱的整个过程。钱并不是第一位的。”