Self trust is often overlooked yet it is the most powerful virtue we have. In order to succeed in anything we must possess this ability. Otherwise we are living through someone else.

When we trust ourselves we are first of all keeping our power, as opposed to giving our power away to outside sources that we look to for the right answer. Then when things don't go as planned it becomes very easy to play the victim role then blame that source for the circumstances at hand.

You can avoid all this overwhelm by going back to the basics. We all have within us the means and know how to do what needs to be done. It all begins with feeling. We all have knee jerk reactions to situations and do or say things we shouldn't but if you really listened to your body, something inside of you was telling you to stop. This is why afterwards you feel bad. You already knew what the outcome would be, yet ignored the signs/symptoms.

Because we cannot or do not know how to trust in ourselves, we constantly live in a state of fear and worry (which is part of the reason we have knee jerk reactions). This was a huge lesson for me in my life. I parented out of fear I made decisions out of fear. Everything I did was out of fear. Every action, every reaction. I lived in a constant state of upset and turmoil in my mind until I understood what I needed the most was to trust in myself to handle whatever situation presented itself. And the strangest thing of all was, when you deal with situations as they arise, they are not that big of a deal. When you trust yourself in your abilities to deal with these things, you remain calm and rational. It is all the energy expelled into the doubt fear and worry that makes any situation more dramatic than it needs to be. This understanding did not come easily for me. I seemed to fight it every step of the way and it came with a lot of heartache before I got the message.

The miracle of all this is when you have trust in yourself, those so called situations become few and far between. You are no longer overwhelmed, you say ‘no’ when you are asked to give more of your time but don't want to or can't, you no longer second guess yourself, and you suddenly learn to relax because you are not keeping so busy trying to avoid yourself.

A few things to do when making a decision you are unsure of is stop before reacting and feel what it feels like in your body. Does it feel good or bad? To compare the feelings for future reference, think about someone you really like, a friend, your mom, someone who you love being around and who brings you pleasure. Now feel that feeling and really take note of it.

Now on the flipside think of the opposite, someone you dislike, who you feel uncomfortable around or who makes you angry or uneasy. Note this feeling.

The next time you need to make a decision, parenting, buying a house, relationship, career or anything, ask yourself the question needing answered and compare the feelings.

Trust Yourself and your body to lead you in the right direction always and watch as your life relaxes and becomes exciting once again.

自信常常会被我们忽视，但实际上它是人类最强大的优点。要想在任何事情上取得成功，我们都必须拥有自信的能力。否则，我们只能生活在他人的阴影之下。

一旦我们拥有自信，我们首先就能自我控制；相反，如果没有自信，当我们在外界寻求正确答案时，就会失去自控能力。于是，如果事情出乎意料的话，我们则很容易扮演那个受害者，进而抱怨起周边环境的压力。

回到最简单的道理上，你就能避免这样的压力。我们每个人都有一套自己的方法，很清楚该怎样把事情处理好。而自我知觉就是一个办法。在某些情况下，很多人会出现“膝反应”，说出不该说的话，甚至做些不该做的事。但是，如果你用心倾听你的身体，会感觉到某种力量在阻止你那样做。人们往往在做了那样的事后，会情绪低落：因为你其实很清楚后果会怎样，但你一意孤行，忽视了身体发出的信号或症状。

因为不懂得怎样信任自己，我们常常会处于一种担惊受怕和焦愁忧虑的状态，而这实际上也是“膝反应”的一个诱因。这也是我人生中的一大教训。为人父母，我担惊受怕；作出决定时，我也会前瞻后顾；做任何事情——哪怕是一举一动，我都这样战战兢兢。就这样，我一直在心理上自我压抑和折磨；然后，我突然意识到，我最汲汲渴求的其实只是自信——唯有如此，我才能应对生活中的各种境况。而神奇的是，一旦你这么做的时候，问题本身就显得不那么可怕了。如果你相信自己有能力处理好各种境况，你就会镇定自若、理智明晰。自信的能力会驱除所有的担忧和焦虑，使得各种境况发生戏剧化的“转变”。然而，我并非轻而易举就明白这个道理的——这一路上，我磕磕绊绊，心力交瘁，最后才猛然醒悟。

一旦你相信自己，奇迹就会发生，而所谓的各种困难也会变得稀少而遥远。你不再压力重重，当你没有或不想浪费自己的时间时，你敢说出那个“不”字了；你不再自我怀疑，而是突然之间学会了放松，并坦然自若地接受自己了。

在作出不确定的决定时，你只需停下来感知一下身体的反应——是舒适呢还是不快？再对照一下未来规划时的感受，想想你喜欢的某个人——朋友或母亲，或某个你乐于相处、能给你快乐的人，然后，体味一下这种感受，记下来。

再然后，换一个相反的感觉——想想某个你讨厌的人，那个人使你不自在、愤怒或不快。也记下这一种感受。

下次你要做出决定时，比如教育儿女、购房置产、交际应酬、工作事业或任何其他境况，多问问自己，比较一下心里的感觉吧。

请相信自己，相信自己的身体会引领你走向正确的方向。然后，你会再次拥有轻松愉悦的生活！