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Hi again and welcome back to America Under the Microscope. 欢迎你又回到【闲话美国】. Hello, James.

Hi, Lulu. Hi, everyone.

You know one thing that I always wanted to ask you is that when it comes to sort of celebrations, you know people think…we already know like birthdays, weddings and before we also talked about a few, like bridal shower, baby shower and all that.

Right, right, right.

But I thought it would be fun for us to talk about other special occasions where Americans would gather for fun on a probably like a regular basis, because that is a big part of the culture as well.

Emmm…So more parties, we'll talk about that, that sounds great.

All right. Would you get us started?

If I must. Sure. We're going to go ahead and start by talking about two kinds of... Well the first one is not so unique to the United States, UK and Australia also have this, but barbecues.

Barbecues.

Yeah.

Barbecue就是烧烤. To be honest, when Chinese hear the word barbecue, we think of 串儿.

Yeah, what China eats is not barbecue, sorry. Not barbecue.

Okay. For what is barbecue?

Well, American barbecue, we've talked about this before, is that we're cooking the meat over flame, but it's a bigger chunks of meat, usually slower, and some Americans they take this super seriously like smoking the meat for a long time.

Usually guys.

Usually. The barbeque party though, how those usually work is the reason you're having a barbecue could be for so many different reasons, birthdays, it's Saturday, it could be any reason.

It's Saturday?

It's Saturday.

The weather is good, let's just get outside and eat huge chunks of meat. Why not?

Why not? How it goes is the host will be responsible for cooking the meat which they may provide or they may actually ask you to bring your own to cook.

To me, that is a bit odd. If you say Lulu, come to my place, we're going to have a barbecue party. But by the way, bring the steaks, I'll be like, well, why can't I just eat the steaks at mine?

It's going to not I wouldn't word it that way. They would say like bring meat you want to cook.

Oh. So then it becomes kind of a communal…

It becomes a much more communal thing. I'm not going to say you have to bring the stakes.

I see.

And then what happens is the barbecues you'll have the host. He'll be standing by the barbecue the whole time cooking, drinking. And people come up and socialize with them and other people will be setting up the table outside and then you'll have the meal together outside.

I think it's very similar to like British or Australian barbecue where usually it's like the man in the house who's going to do the barbecue, who’s going to cook it.

They also tend to be quite informal. People bring their own stuff, like drinks and bring their own coolers of beer, soda, whatever.

Speaking of bringing your own food, I've heard of a term called potluck.

That's actually the next kind of party we're going to talk about.

That is a very interesting idea.

So another style of party we have in America are called potlocks. And what these are meals, but each person that goes they bring a different dish and all the dishes would be shared by everyone there.

Is there a rule like if you don't bring a dish, you're not allowed to go to a potluck?

Well, you wouldn't really be the person who not bring a dish because that would be really a big cultural faux pas.

But what if I cannot cook, I'm willing to get it from a, let’s say, restaurant?

Oh, you don't have to cook and you don't have to bring food, you can bring things like cups, drinks.

Ah.

Usually there will be some… the host will be kind of organizing and asking people to bring different types of things.

I would have thought so because otherwise everyone brings macaroni.

We have ten macaronis and cheese and four fried chickens and two cokes. So like my cousin's wedding was a potluck.

Oh, you can do potluck with weddings?

That's kind of…It's actually a good way to save money if you don't have a lot of money as you get family to do that. So both these barbecues and products are quite informal, but also extremely common. We do them all the time.

At these parties, apart from bringing food or drink or...what about gifts?

Well, America is still big on the gift cards, like the greeting cards.

Really? The paper-based cards?

Yeah. Those paper-based cards, there’s like picture on the front, you open it up and there's a message on the inside.

The last time I've seen that in China, it's got to be when I was in school.

Yeah, they're pretty hard to find, but America you can get them at any supermarket, drug store. We have greeting card stores like Hallmark. And yeah, we have all kinds of greeting cards for birthdays, weddings, get well soon…

For every occasion.

Congratulations on your divorce.

Very specific.

They have some very, very specific ones.

But one thing I think some of our listeners would like to know, so if they're in the situation in America for example, and they are invited to any of these parties, and what kind of gifts should they get? What's appropriate?

When in doubt, ask the host.

Is that not impolite?

No. Because usually there'll be for a lot of these kind of parties where gifts are involved.

Uh.

There will be a usually a gift list or a gift theme. And the host will tell you what this theme or list is. So you can buy something off of it.

Yeah, that's so good, because then you don't have to really put into much thoughts, just follow the list.

So there's usually a rule. So it might be like he likes basketball, so buy him basketball cards. It's like OK, that's easy.

And are there any unique activities, any of the parties?

Yes, but one of the unique activity comes from Mexico and this is called Pinatas.

Pinatas? Isn’t pinata, one of those like really colorful thing you hang up?

Right. So it is a basically big colorful cardboard box within a colorful paper on it. Traditionally, it's supposed to be in the shape of a horse, but you can get them in shape of cartoon characters and all that stuff.

I've seen those in Mexico.

Yeah, I've seen them here in China.

Oh.

You can get them here now.

Wow.

What you do is inside them, you put candy. And then you string it up, usually over a tree or something.

Mhm.

And you play a game. So the game is like one kid will put a blindfold on, you give them a stick, they need to try to hit the Pinata. And adult is usually holding a rope, making the Pinata go up and down to make it difficult to hit.

Oh.

And the kids all take turns until it breaks open, candy falls down, and everyone goes, get the candy.

Ah. I swear I've seen that in other cultures as well. It might not all be in exactly the same form, but that seems to be a popular way to celebrate.

We do it in America, it is not from America. It comes from Mexico as far as I know.

Mhm.

But on top of that, we also do a lot of costume or theme based parties.

Like Halloween party?

Well, not just Halloween, but that's a good example.

Mhm.

Like as of this recording, the time of this recording, it is going to be Christmas soon and there's usually something we call an ugly sweater party.

Oh, the Christmas sweater.

Yeah, where people dress up a really ugly Christmas sweaters. So there will be all kinds of different themes that they'll ask you to follow some kind of dress code or do something unique for the party.

A lot of those what we've just mentioned or you've just mentioned are more like regular sort of the random parties.

Right.

What about birthdays? Because based on my understanding, each culture you will have specific big birthdays or important birthdays people do celebrate a lot more than some of the other just casual birthdays.

Yeah, we have big birthdays in America, too. The first big birthday is actually your first birthday.

Ah.

But there's not much to say about that because you don't remember it. It's mostly for the parents.

Okay. And the next, is it like 18?

16, your sweet 16.

Oh.

When you turn 16…

Is that when you turn into an adult?

No. That's when you can have a car. Hence when you can drive.

Okay.

So this is a big holiday for teenagers because you turned 16, you can now get your driver's license, so it's a big time.

But with sweet 16, that sounds so girly.

It's kind of. It is girly. Usually we consider sweet 16 is more of a girl's party. But boys also tend to have a big 16th birthday because…

They'll have a car.

They can get a car too. But, well, like in China, 18 is a big birthday because it's like symbol of being an adult, or in America, that's true too. In America, your 18th birthday isn't a big deal.

It's not that special.

Because nothing changes when you turn 18.

Speaking of change, I bet 21 would be a big one because that's when you can start drinking.

Yeah, 21 is the drinking age and your 21st birthday is a big deal. And usually on your 21st birthday, your friends are going to take you on an adventure around town doing what's called a bar crawl.

Ah. We talked about bar crawl before, I think either with you or with Anlan. So it's you go to different bars, and with each bar, you will have a couple of drinks.

Well, your 21 run, which is what this is called a 21 run, is a little bit different than your standard bar crawl. Most bars in America will have a special drink for people who turn 21.

Ah.

So they'll take their ID with them and they'll show the bars like I just turned 21 today. They'll concoct them some crazy drink. The birthday person will not be paying money for their drink.

Wow. Can't you just fake your 21st birthday like try to go around and drink for free?

Yeah, you're going to have to show your ID. You're going to show that it is your birthday

But once you turn an actual adult, I guess they aren't that many exciting birthdays.

Yeah, I have birthdays every year and they're mostly all low key affairs.

Nobody wants to be reminded the fact that they're getting older.

But we do have one big birthday when we're in an adult hood, our 40th birthday.

Instead to celebrate that's going to be the most stressul…

You're over the hill.

Over the hill? So officially you're getting older. Like that's from downhill.

You're no longer young, you're now just getting older.

That sounds like a party... So depressing.

It is kind of dark, but people have fun with it. So for your 40th birthday, people usually use black to decorate, black balloons kind of grave humor.

Wow.

The truth is 40th birthday nowadays isn't actually that big of a deal. People live longer now.

Exactly.

But it is still treated as kind of this dark fun day.

Yeah. I guess. let's say in English speaking countries, 40 would probably be the beginning of middle age.

Yeah, I mean, you can… 40 can still change careers, start a new career. You're not really considered… Nowadays you're not really considered old as 40 any more.

No, but in China when you're 30, you're considered old sometimes.

Oh.

Anyhow I think that would wrap up some of the extra party talk for today. In the advanced episode, we can deeper into this whole party culture.

Sounds great.

All right. Can't wait to see you next time. And then if you have experiences of any of these parties or if you have been to any special parties in your culture or other cultures, leave us a comment in the comment section.

Yes, I love to hear from you.

Yeah. I'll see you next time.

Bye bye everyone.

Bye.