Hello everyone and welcome to America under the Microscope advanced episode. Hi, Lulu.

Hi James.

So we're gonna continue our talk about prom. And first I want to start off and talk about something we have which is called prom proposal.

So is it like a word play on proposal?

Yeah.

It’s like instead of word ‘will you marry me’, you say ‘will you go to the prom with me’?

That's the idea. But you know how some people have really elaborate proposals for marriage, sometimes see people... the public displays or you know, spell out words in the distance and things like that. Some students will go through the same kind of effort to ask someone to go to a prom with them.

Awwww. I guess when you're young and in love, nothing is too elaborate.

No, nothing is too elaborate. So you'll see students who will dress up in costume or create big posters, probably get embarrassed, you know, embarrassed the person they're asking.

Yeah, that would certainly have embarrassed me.

But in general, most people still do more of just the standard like, “will you go to prom with me?” is the more common way to ask.

Can I ask you like, I know this differs from person to person, but when they're doing the prom proposal, they pretty much already know the other person, will say yes or otherwise they wouldn't...

Hopefully they do. But high school students don't always think things thorough. So yes, sometimes they do get turned down.

Oh, that's a disaster. By the away, if you don't have a date, nobody wants to go to prom with you. Can you actually still go to the prom alone?

Sure, you can buy a single ticket and go alone, although most people won't do that.

Because then...

Social stigma.

Yeah, it looks pretty sad to go along if everyone's paired up, but can you actually go with a group?

Oh, yeah, sure. That’s no problem. That's actually really common. So usually during the day of the prom or homecoming, we have a prom date or a homecoming date, and this is basically a whole day event because proms and homecomings are always on a Saturday.

Ah, so...

They're never gonna be on a Friday. So you got the day where the girl will go to the salon and get her hair done, get nails done, make up the whole nine yards, and then they'll get together with their male friends. So if there's a couple, they might have kind of a date where they go out for a nice dinner, and then they go to the dance; they might go as a group, have dinner and go to dance. What is fairly common is for them to rent a limousine.

A limousine is like a luxury, a long car.

Yeah, it's like those really long cars you see famous people in. And so they all sit in the back, listen to the music. You'll have fun.

But that all sounds incredibly expensive. Who's paying for that?

Well, mom and dad most likely.

Do they not do any part time job to pay for that?

Some students do, I mean, it depends from student to student, but parents usually pay. And then the guy will buy a corsage for the girl, so the flower that goes on, they're basically flower bracelet, flowers are given, all the things. And the dinner they go to, they usually go to a nice restaurant.

Before the dance.

So before the dance, they are not gonna go KFC or MacDonald, they are going to go to, you know, proper sit down meal.

What, wearing the prom dress and a tuxedo or?

Yeah, so they'll go have a... I know, this might seem strange, like you see families might be eating over there and there's these really well dressed high school students.

I'm just more thinking, don't like drop anything on your nice clothes.

Well I imagine they would choose to eat something that is safe.

Yeah.

I wouldn't eat hot pot in the circumstance like that.

No, you'll be smelly like hot pots throughout the night. So this is something I think is very different because in Chinese high school, I think now probably a bit different. When I was growing up, high school was still like your parents they mostly focus on your scores, like your only focus should be getting into a good university. You don't have time to date and then generally high school kids in China parents would think, oh you're too young to know what is good for you. So in America this is like open dating because you're going to the prom with a date. What's parents' attitude towards that, especially girls' parents?

They are fairly open to it because parents did it and grandparents did it.

I suppose yes.

Proms are not new, it's been around for a while. And most American parents are more open to their children dating in high school. So most parents don't view it as a negative thing.

I suppose especially with parent’s supervision, with a teacher supervision at prom, they don't really have to worry about it a lot.

Parents know where their kids are, they are supervised, they know when prom will be over. So if they're out late, then the parents will worry then.

Yeah, which brings us to the prom rules, last time we said that they are quite clear, like parent’s supervision and teacher supervision then kids are watched quite closely. Are there any specific rules?

Well, since it is a school event, you just have to follow all the same school rules that you would normally think of no fighting and all that kind of stuff. But in general, since this is a dance, they usually have a rule about not being too close.

What is too close? Can they kiss?

No!

You are not allowed to kiss?

No. So the general rule for a lot of places is, you have to be able to get a third body between you. So if two people were dancing, there should be room for another person to get between them.

Ok. It's just a space that can fit one person.

There should be space between them because...

I thought you were saying that they need to have a third person standing there...

They are not dancing like a sandwich.

Alright. And then...

It's just about space because if people have been to night clubs and stuff, they know people might dance really closely.

Yeah.

That's not allowed at the prom.

So literally... because you're under the watchful eyes of parents and teachers, if you get too close, they'll jump out and they will like that...

They won't jump. But they will get in there and say you need to...

Back off a little bit.

Make space or too close.

Or just stand in between them, make things really awkward.

Well, they mostly just stand really close, which would be awkward enough.

Yeah, I guess so.

One thing you commonly see in movies and stuff is like these bad kids adding alcohol to the drinks in prom.

Which punch. Right?

But that doesn't really happen.

Because I guess to Americans, drinking is a big thing.

It is.

Drinking age is twenty one?

Drinking age is twenty one. So at high school age that's a big no no. And this is a school event. And if there was alcohol at a school event, boy, there would be trouble. Parents would complain, police should probably get involved, it would be a whole mess. So...

Anything on the school premises heavily controlled, I guess.

So the refreshments are watched heavily by teachers and staff to make sure that there's no foul play.

So what do they drink then? Just...

Juice, soft drinks, water, things like that and they'll be sometimes snacks like you know, small cakes, cookies and stuff.

I see. So with all these rules, but what about the actual dance? People don't just get born and automatically know how to dance.

Oh, so how do we know how to dance?

Do you learn from your parents?

Some people do, but usually at PE class that he teaches some basics of ballroom dancing.

Wow. So in your PE class for specifically for the high school formal.

No, it's just another unit at sports, so just like we learned basketball and soccer, we learned, you know, ballroom dance. Uh, but to be fair, this is a popular music, so they'll be more popular styles of dance. Some kids will do pop stuff and also the common you know, just side to side.

If you don't know how to dance, you can at least move towards music.

And then slow dancing is really hold move slowly. So it's not exactly...

It's difficult to hold move slowly being romantic to a slow dance song, but to have the space of one person in between you two.

High school students can do it.

Great. So what about after the parties? Isn't that what parents are worried about? Because if you believe anything in the movies or TV that is...

Huge party we’ll all get drunk!

Yeah! And that is, can lead to lots of problems.

Yeah that isn't that common to be honest, after prom most students go home.

Is it because they have curfew?

Some have curfew, you tired, parents have wanted you home. There are some students do go ahead and have a party after prom, but these big high school parties you see in movies are really much more fiction than are in real life because big parties like that attract police, high school students are under age. So if they get caught drinking, they will get in trouble by the police and their parents. So that's really more fiction than real life.

Yeah I guess you don't really have that level of freedom, especially when you're under age.

No, plus where are you gonna buy the alcohol?

To be honest you know actually, talking about prom and all this, when even though I went to high school in China, but my old school actually had proms.

Oh really?

Yeah I guess it's because it was quite westernized. So it's actually a fancy turn out. I guess it's probably fancier than what you were talking about the average proms in America. It is not supposed to be fancy fancy.

No because when most people see proms in movies, it always seems really, really fancy, but realize it's high school gymnasium and high school students dancing, so it's not that fancy.

Yeah. Just take away the sports equipment and put in some uh, you know decorations and that's it. And it's not really that much of quintessentially romantic events. It's more like a social event.

Yeah because if you want to go someplace for romance, I mean high school gymnasium blaring the popular music really loud with three hundred other kids is not exactly the most romantic environment.

All right so hopefully now you get to know more about prom and homecoming all these high school formals. And if you're interested in any of these events or if you actually experienced these events or similar events in China, leave us comments in a comment section. We would love to hear from you. See you next time.

Bye everyone.

Bye.

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