Chapter 7 Don't Leave Before You Leave
第7章 不要“身还在，心已远”
A few years ago, a young woman at Facebook came to my desk and asked if she could speak to me privately.
几年前，脸谱网的一位年轻女员工走到我桌前，问我是否能私下和她谈谈。
We headed into a conference room, where she began firing off questions about how I balance work and family.
于是我们去了会议室，然后她一口气儿问了我很多如何平衡工作和家庭的问题。
As the questions came faster and faster, I started to wonder about her urgency.
问题一个接一个，我开始对她的这种急切感到好奇。
I interrupted to ask if she had a child.
我打断了她，询问她是否有孩子。
She said no, but she liked to plan ahead.
她说没有，但希望提前做好计划。
I inquired if she and her partner were considering having a child.
我又问她和她的丈夫是否都在考虑要孩子的问题。
She replied that she did not have a husband, then added with a little laugh, "Actually, I don't even have a boyfriend."
她的回答是她还没有丈夫，随后又笑着说：“其实，我连男朋友都没有。”
It seemed to me that she was jumping the gun—big time—but I understood why.
在我看来，她实在是操之过急了，但我理解其中的原因。
From an early age, girls get the message that they will have to choose between succeeding at work and being a good mother.
在女孩年纪还小时，她们就已经明白未来必须在事业成功和做个好母亲之间做出选择。
By the time they are in college, women are already thinking about the trade-offs they will make between professional and personal goals.
等到上大学时，女生就开始考虑以后要怎样权衡职业目标和个人目标之间的关系。
When asked to choose between marriage and career, female college students are twice as likely to choose marriage as their male classmates.
当被问及该怎样选择时，女大学生跟男生相比，选择婚姻的可能性要高出一倍。
And this concern can start even younger.
这种担心很可能在她们更小的时候就出现了。
Peggy Orenstein, the author of Cinderella Ate My Daughter, related the story of a five-year-old girl who came home distraught from her after-school program
《灰姑娘吃了我女儿》一书的作者佩姬·奥伦斯坦讲述了这样的故事：一个5岁的小女孩参加完课外活动后，闷闷不乐地回到家，
and told her mother that both she and the boy she had a crush on wanted to be astronauts.
告诉母亲她和自己喜欢的男孩都想当宇航员。
When her mother asked why that was a problem, the little girl replied, "When we go into space together, who will watch our kids?"
她母亲问她为什么不高兴，小女孩回答说：“如果我们一起上太空了，谁来照看我们的孩子呢？”
At five, she thought the most challenging aspect of space travel would be dependable child care.
她才5岁，就认为飞上太空面临的最大挑战就是怎么能让孩子得到妥帖的照看。