Thank you! Thank you so much!
谢谢 感谢你们的到来
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the show.
女士们先生们 欢迎收看深夜秀
As you know Valentine's day was this weekend.
大家都知道 本周是情人节
But not everyone had a romantic night.
但并不是每个人在情人节那天都很开心
Because one couple in Arkansas had to call the police
阿肯色州有一对夫妻
after they lost the key to handcuffs they were using during some kinky fun.
由于弄丢了他们情趣手铐的钥匙不得不报警求助
The police came, took the handcuffs off of the man,
然后警察来解开了他们的手铐
and then found out he had a warrant out for his arrest,
结果发现这位男士是保释出来的
put different handcuffs on him and took him to jail.
于是给他戴上了另一副手铐 把他关到监狱去了

He must have been really confused at first
她一开始肯定也是懵的
like he definitely thought the cop was just part II of the role play that night.
估计以为警察也是角色扮演的一部分
What's the charge, officer? Being a bad boy?
需要我做什么呢 警官 要我演坏蛋吗
But this couple has learned an important lesson—you should always have an extra key.
但这对情侣一定学到了重要的一课——永远要多准备一把钥匙
Do you know what I mean? Give it to a neighbor for safe-keeping.
你们明白我意思吗 以防万一 留一把给邻居
That's what your mom said.
你妈妈一定这么教过你
This is for the front door, this is for the back door, and this is for my sex handcuffs.
这是前门钥匙 这是后门钥匙 这是我情趣手铐的钥匙
My safe word is 'onion.'
我的安全词是 洋葱
But not every romantic gesture had a sad ending over the weekend
但并不是每个浪漫的故事都会是悲伤的结局
because one high school senior in Utah made it his business to give all 834 girls in his school a single flower for Valentine's Day.
犹他州的一个高中生情人节那天给全校834位女生送了花
I know. I know.
我明白
What better way to make a girl feel special than to treat her the same as 833 other girls?
有什么方式比用对待其他833个女生一样的方式对待一个女生更能让她感到自己很特别呢
I love this guy!
我真喜欢这个小伙子
His dating style can only be described as I'm gonna throw everything at the wall and see what sticks.
可以这样描述他的约会方式 我要把所有的东西都扔到墙那边去 砸到谁就是谁
But it's true.
但这是件真事
He gave flowers to 834 girls, and those girls gave them, in turn, to 834 trashcans.
他给834位女生送了花 然后这些女生反过来 把花都扔进了垃圾桶
We're joking. I mean what this kid did was very very sweet.
开玩笑的 这个小伙子其实做法挺好的
In fact, there's a couple in Las Vegas who could probably have learned a thing or two from him.
实际上 拉斯维加斯有对情侣估计跟他学了点什么
Because this couple had only met two months ago and were planning on getting married in Vegas.
这对情侣才相识两个月 就准备在拉斯维加斯结婚
You know, the way all long, healthy marriages start.
你们懂的 路途遥远 幸福的婚姻就开始了
When they got there, the guy didn't stick to the plan.
到了拉斯维加斯后 这位男士并没有遵守约定
The couple was supposed to get married that day
这对情侣本来应该那天结婚的
but they got in a fight to Phillip went off, got drunk and found another girl to get frisky with right up there.
结果两人吵起来了 男的就走了 喝了酒 就着了另一个女孩上了摩天轮
I don't know who I feel more sorry for—
我不知道更应该对谁感到抱歉
The girlfriend he cheated on or the guy who cleans the Ferris wheel.
他的女朋友 还是打扫摩天轮的清洁工
Look at this folks. Look.
看这些人
Wrong direction.
方向错了
Thank you, Guillermo.
谢谢 吉列尔莫
We've actually got a photo of the guy who did the deed on the Ferris wheel.
我们这里还有主角的照片
This is him. Look at that.
看
He looks like he was cut from the entourage movie for being too douchey.
这个长相就像是因为太蠢了被明星伙伴剧组踢出去了
Not only were they having sex, but they refused to stop even after they were caught.
他们不仅在摩天轮做爱 被发现的时候还不肯停
Listen to the man's explanation from a recent interview.
我们来听听在最近的一次采访中 男主人公是怎么说的
Security tells them to stop over the intercom.
我们很严肃的通过广播叫他们停下来
They paused briefly but kept going anyway.
他们短暂的停了一小会儿 然后又继续了
We think it's like a recording because they kept saying it over and over again.
因为他们广播了一遍又一遍 我们还以为是录音
Right. Yeah. Because you kept doing it over and over again.
嗯 因为你们一直没停啊
The guy thought the voice on the intercom telling them to stop was a recording.
这个人以为广播是录音
But to be fair, there are a lot of places in Las Vegas that could use a please stop having sex recording. Do you know what I mean?
但讲实话 拉斯维加斯有很多地方可以准备上这个请停止性行为的录音 你们知道我说的是什么吗
Jacuzzis, public bathrooms, the MS store.
浴缸 公厕 商店
Don't ask me how I know that.
别问我是怎么知道的
Of course, they didn't stop.
当然他们也没停
In fact, a lot of people saw this as it was happening.
事实上 很多人都看到了他们的行为
They were even recording it on their cellphones.
还拿手机录下来了
We actually have some footage of the climax.
我们这儿还有一段高潮部分的录像