Christmas is only 11 days away,
距离圣诞节是剩下11天了
which is not a lot of time to check things off on your Christmas to-do list.
这也就意味着你没剩多少时间要把待办清单里的事完成了
You have to decorate your tree.
你要装饰圣诞树
You have to go shopping, and you have to go see Santa at the mall.
要购物 还要去超市看圣诞老人
However, if you live in Portland, Oregon, you might be a little disappointed
然而 如果你住在俄勒冈州的波特兰 你可能会有点失望
if you go to the pioneer place shopping center,
如果你去先锋广场购物中心
where they've hired a hipster Santa Claus, complete with a vintage sweater and a man bun.
你会看见一个时髦的圣诞老人 他穿着复古款式的毛衣 扎着发髻
That's completely real. That is real. Now I have got to say—
这是真事儿 真的 我不得不说——

Honestly, I do have a problem with this.
说真的 我有个问题
I don't want to sound too traditional, but you have to dress as Santa if you're Santa.
我不想表现的很古板 但是如果你扮演的是圣诞老人 你就应该打扮的像圣诞老人啊
Otherwise, my kid is just waiting in line to see some old dude.
否则的话 排队等着看圣诞老人的孩子们只会看见一个老头子
Do you know what I mean?
你们明白我意思吗
Happy winter, kids! Wanna sit on a guy?
孩子们 冬天快乐 想坐在我身上吗
Honestly, have a look at that picture again. Look.
说真的 我们再看一眼这张图 看
It looks like Portland got this Santa at a flea market.
感觉这个圣诞老人像是波特兰在跳骚市场淘的一样
That Santa looks like he would deliver presents on December 27
这个圣诞老人看起来像是会等到12月27号才给你送礼物
and just say, sorry, I totally spaced. Sorry.
然后跟你说 抱歉我有点晕 抱歉
But Portland isn't the only place that went with a non-traditional Santa this year.
但波特兰并不是唯一一个今年选了个不合常理的圣诞老人的城市
Check out this mall in Toronto that's been promoting a hot fashion Santa.
看看这个多伦多的超市 他们正在推广一个时尚的圣诞老人形象
Look at him! I know!
看他 我知道
Now we know who Mariah Carey wrote all I want for Christmas is you about.
现在我们能够理解玛丽亚·凯莉写的 我圣诞节只想要你 是什么意思了
Isn't this going too far?
但这不觉得太过分了吗
I mean sitting on Santa's lap was already sexually confusing.
我是说 从性的角度来看 坐在圣诞老人的大腿上这个活动已经很让人费解了
Isn't Santa supposed to be for kids and not parents? Do you know what I mean?
难道圣诞老人不是为孩子们准备的吗 是为父母准备的吗 你们明白吗
Mom, can I go sit on Santa's lap?
妈妈 我能坐在圣诞老人的腿上吗
After mommy, darling.
宝贝 妈妈起来了你再坐
What really bothers me about this is he's taking a role away from a big guy, do you know what I mean?
真正让我觉得困扰的是 他不是在扮演一个肌肉男 你们明白我意思吗
And there are only so many roles a big guy can play.
肌肉男可以扮演的角色范围太多了
You have got Santa Claus, mall cops, and Anne Hathaway's effeminate best friend in a movie.
有圣诞老人 超市的警察 还有安妮·海瑟薇电影里的Gay蜜
He said what? We're gonna get that bitch man.
他说 什么 我去帮你搞定那个贱人
I know. I'm perfect casting for it. What? Let's go.
我知道自己演的很好 什么 随他去吧
But I worry about how this hot Santa is going to get work after December 25.
但我很担心这个性感的圣诞老人12月25号之后就找不到工作了
Because a new study has found that being good looking can hurt a man's career
因为一项新的研究表明 人长得好看 职业生涯就会不顺
because people in charge of hiring see attractive men as a threat. Yeah!
人力资源部的人往往会把长得好看的人当作一种威胁 耶
So if you're a man who was recently hired for a new job, congratulations.
所以 如果你最近刚找到工作 那么恭喜
You're hideous.
你肯定长得丑
I really do think there is some truth to this study. I thought about it.
我真的相信这份研究是有一定参考价值的 我想过了
I looked around the office and I realized that I only hire people who are much uglier than I am.
我看着自己的办公室 发现自己真的只会招那些长的没有我好看的人
I really do. Honestly, isn't that right, Gavin on camera one?
真的 一号摄像师盖文 说实话 你觉得呢
Yeah. I know. No, it's true, isn't it? Marco? It's true.
我明白 这是真的 不是吗 马克 是真的
Right, Trevor?
对吗 特雷弗
Don't worry, guys. You have great personalities. They have.
大家别担心 你们都各有特色 真的