So we all have that thing where you have gone to a party
我们都有过这样的经历 去参加一个聚会
and you barely know anybody when you're there.
却一个人都不认识
We have all had that, right?
大家都有过这样的经历吧
If you're going to a party and you think you may not know anyone,
如果你去参加了这样一个聚会
you should know there are side effects that come with that
随之而来的副作用可能有
and those side effects may include chaffed thumbs from pretending to text
因为一直假装发短信导致大拇指龟裂
so you're not just standing there.
这样你就不用干站着了
Your pants getting covered in fur because you keep petting the host's dog.
裤子上全是毛 因为你一直在摸主人家的狗
Standing on the edge of a circle of people and laughing along when they laugh,
站在人群中 跟着他们一起笑
even though you didn't hear any of the story.
尽管他们说的你什么都没听到

Somebody asking, hey is your name Kevin?
有人问 嘿 你是凯文吗
And you respond, no but they call you Kevin anyway
你说不是 但他们一直叫你凯文
so from now on for the rest of the party your name is Kevin.
所以从现在开始直到聚会结束你都叫凯文
And the final side effects to going to a party where you barely know anyone
参加全是陌生人的聚会的终极副作用就是
is drinking too much because you're nervous and then perfectly rapping Forgot about Dre
你因为紧张而喝太多酒 完美演唱Forgot about Dre
and now everybody at the party wants to chill with Kevin.
最后聚会上所有的人都想认识你
Does anyone here crack their knuckles?
在场有人喜欢折指节吗
Anyone crack their knuckles here?
有人吗
Yeah, well, if you crack your knuckles you will think about cracking your knuckles,
如果你喜欢折指节
you should know there are side effects. Those side effects may include
你应该知道折指节是有副作用的 包括
Making quite the entrance into a street fight.
容易引起街头斗殴
Excessive use of the phrase, are you ready for this, punk?
过度使用这句话 准备好了吗 废物
Knowing what it's like to smash a little twerp's face onto the hood of a car.
知道把一个煞笔的脸按在轿车前盖上是什么感觉
And the final side effects to cracking your knuckles is arthritis.
最后一个副作用就是得关节炎
And finally does anyone here think they may have been an antelope in a past life?
最后一个 在座有人曾认为自己是一只羚羊的吗
If you do think you may have been an antelope in a past life,
如果有的话
you should know that it comes with side effects. Those side effects may include
你要知道这些副作用 包括
Spending 37 years of your life with no knowledge of ever being an antelope.
有37年不知道自己是只羚羊
Becoming a successful actor, writer and host,
成为出色的演员 作家 和主持人
and building a new life for yourself and your beautiful family in Los Angeles,
让自己和家人在洛杉矶有一个美好的新生活
all without the knowledge of ever being an antelope.
同时你还是不知道自己是只羚羊
Pouring your son a bowl of frosted flakes last Wednesday morning,
上周三晚上给儿子倒了一杯燕麦片
still with no knowledge of ever being an antelope.
仍然不知道自己是只羚羊
Seeing Tony the tiger on the box.
在盒子上看到老虎托尼
Remembering.
记得一切
Seeing them come for your mother and father in the middle of the night.
看见他们半夜来找你的爸妈
It was dark, but there was a half moon, and just enough light to see their stripes.
天色已黑 但天上还有半轮月亮 刚好让你看见他们身上的条纹
Having to do a comedy show every night since then,
从那时起每天晚上都要做一期喜剧节目
put on a pretty face and pretend you don't long for the wild plains of Africa.
顶着一张美丽的脸 假装自己一点儿也不留念非洲的大草原
And that was side effects may include.
这就是可能存在的副作用