Oh, hey! It's me, mom. Out here in public.
哦，嗨！我是一位母亲，在公共场合哺乳。
Catching some side eye.
蔑视的眼光蜂拥袭来。
First rule of motherhood: Someone's always judging.
成为母亲后的第一条规矩：永远有人在打量你。
Breastfeeding? Didn't work out.
母乳喂养？ 在我这儿可行不通。
Guess what? The world is still turning.
你知道吗？ 我还有其它事情要干。
Go to work? I'm missing his childhood.
去上班？ 他的童年时光与我无缘了。
Stay at home? I have no ambition.
在家当全职太太？我可没什么远大理想。

Yeah, I bribe my kids. How else you think stuff gets done around here?
是的，我收买了我的孩子。不然你觉得为什么这里收拾得这么干净呢？
No, I'm not the Grandma. Do I look like her Grandma?
不，我不是祖母。我看起来像她的祖母吗？
Mom's special juice? It's wine!
妈妈的特别饮品？这是红酒！
Yoga pants? Big fan.
瑜伽裤？头号迷丝！
Too much? I think I got the name Mom in the first place.
露太多了？我觉得我天生就是当母亲的料。
Now if you think that's shocking, check this out.
如果你觉得这些太不可思议，看看这个。
Good old fashioned Yoplait. It's not made with cage-free Norwegian hemp milk.
大家最熟悉的优诺酸奶。它不是用挪威放养的奶牛制作的麻牛奶。
And guess what? What? She loves it!
你知道吗？什么？这是她的最爱！