So a while ago, I tried an experiment.
一段时间前，我做了一项实验。
For one year, I would say yes to all the things that scared me.
在整整一年里，我要去做所有使我害怕的事。
Anything that made me nervous, took me out of my comfort zone, I forced myself to say yes to.
使我紧张、不舒服的事，我都强迫自己说，好的，我会去做。
Did I want to speak in public? No, but yes. Did I want to be on live TV? No, but yes.
我想在公共场合下演讲吗？不，但我要去做。我想上电视直播吗？不，但我要去做。
Did I want to try acting? No, no, no, but yes, yes, yes.
我想尝试表演吗？不不不，但我一定要去。
And a crazy thing happened: the very act of doing the thing that scared me undid the fear, made it not scary.
然后神奇的事情发生了，正是因为我做了这些令我害怕的事，使我不再害怕，使这件事不再可怕。
My fear of public speaking, my social anxiety, poof, gone.
我对公共演讲的恐惧、我的社交焦虑症都消失了。
It's amazing, the power of one word. "Yes" changed my life. "Yes" changed me.
一个词的力量居然如此惊人，“可以！”改变了我的生活，“可以！”改变了我。
But there was one particular yes that affected my life in the most profound way,
但有一个特别的“可以”，对我的生活有着最深刻的影响，
in a way I never imagined, and it started with a question from my toddler.
以一种我从未想过的方式，一切从我学步的孩子的一个问题开始。
I have these three amazing daughters, Harper, Beckett and Emerson,
我有三个宝贝女儿，她们是哈珀、贝克特和爱默生，
and Emerson is a toddler who inexplicably refers to everyone as "honey." as though she's a Southern waitress.
爱默生只是一个还在学步的小孩，他还不知为何要叫每个人“亲爱的”，就像个南方的女服务员一样。
"Honey, I'm gonna need some milk for my sippy cup."
“亲爱的，我需要一些牛奶在我的鸭嘴杯里。”
The Southern waitress asked me to play with her one evening when I was on my way somewhere, and I said, "Yes."
有天晚上，这个南方女服务生要我陪她一起玩，当时我正在去某个地方的路上，我回答“可以”。
And that yes was the beginning of a new way of life for my family.
而这声“可以”是我们家庭新生活的开始。
I made a vow that from now on, every time one of my children asks me to play,
我从那时起发誓，每次我的孩子邀我一起玩耍，
no matter what I'm doing or where I'm going, I say yes, every single time. Almost.
无论我正在干什么或正在哪里，我都会同意，每一次。大多数时候可以。
I'm not perfect at it, but I try hard to practice it.
我不能做到完美，但我十分努力的去达到。
And it's had a magical effect on me, on my children, on our family.
同时这对我也有这神奇的影响，对我的孩子们，对我的家庭。
But it's also had a stunning side effect, and it wasn't until recently that I fully understood it,
但这也有一个极好的副作用，我最近才完全明白，
that I understood that saying yes to playing with my children likely saved my career.
我明白了对我的孩子们说我可以和他们一起玩，很有可能拯救了我的工作。
See, I have what most people would call a dream job.
你看，我有一个被大多数人称为理想职业的工作。
I'm a writer. I imagine. I make stuff up for a living. Dream job. No. I'm a titan. Dream job.
我是一名作家，我想象。我靠创作为生。理想职业。不，我是一个巨人。理想职业。
I create television. I executive produce television.
我编写电视剧。我执行制作电视剧。
I make television, a great deal of television.
我创作电视剧，而且是非常大量的。
In one way or another, this TV season, I'm responsible for bringing about 70 hours of programming to the world.
无论如何，这一电视季，我负责带来70小时的节目面向全世界。
Four television programs, 70 hours of TV.
四个电视节目，70小时。
Three shows in production at a time, sometimes four.
三个秀同时制作，有时甚至四个。
Each show creates hundreds of jobs that didn't exist before.
每一个秀都带来了上百个之前不存在的任务。
The budget for one episode of network television can be anywhere from three to six million dollars.
一集网络电视的预算在三百万到六百万美元之间。
Let's just say five. A new episode made every nine days times four shows,
假如说是五百万。一部剧放九个晚上，乘以四部剧，
so every nine days that's 20 million dollars worth of television, four television programs, 70 hours of TV,
所以每九天的电视剧值两千万，四个电视节目，70小时，
three shows in production at a time, sometimes four, 16 episodes going on at all times:
三个秀同时制作，有时甚至四个，每时每刻都有16集直播：
24 episodes of "Grey's," 21 episodes of "Scandal," 15 episodes of "How To Get Away With Murder,"
24集的《实习医生格蕾》，21集的《丑闻》，15集的《逍遥法外》，
10 episodes of "The Catch," that's 70 hours of TV, that's 350 million dollars for a season.
10集的《隐情》，总共70小时，也就是每季3.5亿美元。
In America, my television shows are back to back to back on Thursday night.
在美国，我的电视剧在星期四的晚上一个接一个。
Around the world, my shows air in 256 territories in 67 languages for an audience of 30 million people.
我的电视剧在全球256个地区，以67种语言放映着，拥有者三千万观众。
My brain is global, and 45 hours of that 70 hours of TV are shows I personally created and not just produced,
我的大脑是全球的，那70小时中有45小时是我本人创作的，而且不止是制作，
so on top of everything else, I need to find time, real quiet, creative time,
我负责着所有事，我需要挤出时间，那种安静而适合创作的时间，
to gather my fans around the campfire and tell my stories.
来和我的粉丝们聚在一起，围坐在篝火旁讲我的故事。
Four television programs, 70 hours of TV, three shows in production at a time,
四个电视节目，70小时，三个秀同时制作，
sometimes four, 350 million dollars, campfires burning all over the world.
有时甚至四个，3.5亿美元，星火在世界各地燃烧着。
You know who else is doing that? Nobody, so like I said, I'm a titan. Dream job.
你们还知道有谁在做这样的事吗？没有人，就像我说的，我是个巨人。理想职业。
Now, I don't tell you this to impress you.
在这里，我不是为了让你们佩服我而讲这个故事。
I tell you this because I know what you think of when you hear the word "writer."
我告诉你们，是因为我知道，当你们听到“作家”这个词后在想什么。
I tell you this so that all of you out there who work so hard,
我告诉你们，因为每个人在外打拼都很辛苦，
whether you run a company or a country or a classroom or a store or a home,
无论你是经营一家公司或一个国家或一间教室，或一个商店或一个家庭，
take me seriously when I talk about working, so you'll get that I don't peck at a computer and imagine all day,
当我讲工作的时候，请认真对待，你会了解我并不是整天坐在电脑前天马行空，
so you'll hear me when I say that I understand that a dream job is not about dreaming.
你会明白当我说理想职业并不仅仅是去想象。
It's all job, all work, all reality, all blood, all sweat, no tears.
这是一份工作、是现实、有血有汗，不能流泪。
I work a lot, very hard, and I love it.
我非常努力的工作，我热爱它。
When I'm hard at work, when I'm deep in it, there is no other feeling.
当我为之奋斗，沉浸其中的时候，我不会有其他的感觉。
For me, my work is at all times building a nation out of thin air.
对我来说，我的工作是我在这庞杂世界之外的一片乐土。
It is manning the troops. It is painting a canvas. It is hitting every high note.
是管理军队。是在帆布上作画。是高声歌唱。
It is running a marathon. It is being Beyoncé.
是跑马拉松，是成为碧昂斯。
And it is all of those things at the same time. I love working.
工作使我能够同时去做这么多事情，我爱我的工作。
It is creative and mechanical and exhausting and exhilarating
它是有创造性的，也是千篇一律的，它是折磨的，也是身心愉悦的，
and hilarious and disturbing and clinical and maternal and cruel and judicious, and what makes it all so good is the hum.
它有时逗人发笑，有时令人分神，它有时不通人性，有时充满母性光辉，它有时残酷，有时精明，使得工作如此美妙是这种充实感。
There is some kind of shift inside me when the work gets good.
当工作进展顺利的时候，我会感到体内有些变化。
A hum begins in my brain, and it grows and it grows and that hum sounds like the open road, and I could drive it forever.
这种充实感在我脑中产生，然后逐渐变大，它听起来像是开阔的公路，我好像可以在上面行驶到永远。
And a lot of people, when I try to explain the hum, they assume that I'm talking about the writing,
当我尝试去向别人解释这种充实感的时候，很多人以为我指的是写作，
that my writing brings me joy. And don't get me wrong, it does.
写作带给我快乐，当然，写作确实给我带来快乐。
But the hum -- it wasn't until I started making television that I started working,
但不是那种感觉，在我进入电视行业后才开始，我开始工作，
working and making and building and creating and collaborating,
包括制作，建造，创作以及和别人合作，
that I discovered this thing, this buzz, this rush, this hum.
才感受到这种快乐，这种冲击，这种充实感。
The hum is more than writing. The hum is action and activity. The hum is a drug.
这种充实感不只局限于写作，它是一种行动，一种瘾药。
The hum is music. The hum is light and air. The hum is God's whisper right in my ear.
它是音乐，是光和空气。它是上帝在我耳边的轻语。
And when you have a hum like that, you can't help but strive for greatness.
当你体会到这种充实感的时候，你停不下来，直到做到最好。
That feeling, you can't help but strive for greatness at any cost.
这种使你不愿停下无论如何也要做到最好的东西，
That's called the hum. Or, maybe it's called being a workaholic.
就是我说的充实感。或者，它也被叫做工作狂。
Maybe it's called genius. Maybe it's called ego. Maybe it's just fear of failure. I don't know.
或许会被叫做天才，或许会被叫做自我，或许仅仅被叫做惧怕失败，我不知道。
I just know that I'm not built for failure, and I just know that I love the hum.
我只知道我不是为失败而生的，我只知道我喜欢充实。
I just know that I want to tell you I'm a titan, and I know that I don't want to question it.
我只知道，我想要告诉你我是一个巨人，而且我知道这是毋庸置疑的。
But here's the thing: the more successful I become, the more shows, the more episodes, the more barriers broken,
但另一方面，我越成功，做出越多电视节目、剧集，当我克服越多的障碍，
the more work there is to do, the more balls in the air, the more eyes on me,
我就会有越多的工作要做，有更多的事务要处理，越来越多的眼睛看着我，
the more history stares, the more expectations there are.
越来越多的历史摆在我面前，越来越高的期望等待着我。
The more I work to be successful, the more I need to work.
我的工作做得越好，我就越需要去工作。
And what did I say about work? I love working, right?
我刚才是怎么谈论工作的？我说热爱工作，对吧？
The nation I'm building, the marathon I'm running, the troops, the canvas, the high note, the hum, the hum, the hum.
这个我正在建造的帝国，我正在跑的马拉松，这些军队，帆布画，高歌，这充实感，这充实感，这充实感。
I like that hum. I love that hum. I need that hum. I am that hum. Am I nothing but that hum?
我喜欢这种充实感。我热爱这种充实感。我需要这种充实感。我就是这种充实感。除了它我还有别的吗？
And then the hum stopped. Overworked, overused, overdone, burned out. The hum stopped.
然后这种充实停止了。过度工作，过度使用，过度劳累，燃烧殆尽了，这种充实停止了。
Now, my three daughters are used to the truth that their mother is a single working titan.
现在，我的三个女儿已经接受了这个事实，她们的妈妈只是个工作上的巨人。
Harper tells people, "My mom won't be there, but you can text my nanny."
哈珀告诉别人，“我妈妈不会过来的，但你可以发短信给我的保姆。”
And Emerson says, "Honey, I'm wanting to go to ShondaLand."
爱默生说：“亲爱的，我想去ShondaLand（演讲者拥有的制作公司）。”
They're children of a titan. They're baby titans. They were 12, 3, and 1 when the hum stopped.
她们是巨人的孩子。她们就是宝宝巨人。当这充实感停止时她们分别是12、3和1岁。
The hum of the engine died. I stopped loving work. I couldn't restart the engine.
充实感不再被启动。我不再热爱工作。不能再重新感受到它。
The hum would not come back. My hum was broken.
这份充实感回不来了。我的充实感被打破了。
I was doing the same things I always did, all the same titan work, 15-hour days, working straight through the weekends,
我一直在重复着同样的工作，一直都是，同样繁重的工作，每天15小时，周末也如此，
no regrets, never surrender, a titan never sleeps, a titan never quits, full hearts, clear eyes, yada, whatever.
没有后悔，没有投降，巨人从不休息，从不退出，全心全意，一往无前，这些有的没的。
But there was no hum. Inside me was silence.
但我再也没有那种充实感了，我的内心空空如也。
Four television programs, 70 hours of TV, three shows in production at a time, sometimes four.
四个电视节目，70小时，三个秀同时制作，有时甚至四个。
Four television programs, 70 hours of TV, three shows in production at a time ...
四个电视节目，70小时，三个秀同时制作...
I was the perfect titan. I was a titan you could take home to your mother.
我曾是那个完美的巨人。我曾是那个你可以带回家见妈妈的那个巨人。
All the colors were the same, and I was no longer having any fun.
所有的颜色都没有变，但我再也不能从中获得乐趣。
And it was my life. It was all I did. I was the hum, and the hum was me.
这曾是我的生命。是我所做的所有。我曾是这充实感，这充实感也曾是我。
So what do you do when the thing you do, the work you love, starts to taste like dust?
那么当你所做的一切，所爱的一切，变得像土一样乏味，你会做什么？
Now, I know somebody's out there thinking, "Cry me a river, stupid writer titan lady."
我猜现在一定有人在想，“你使劲哭吧，愚蠢的巨人女作家。”
But you know, you do, if you make, if you work, if you love what you do,
但是你知道，你一定知道，如果你创作，如果你工作，如果你热爱你所做的事情，
being a teacher, being a banker, being a mother, being a painter, being Bill Gates,
当一名老师，一名银行家，一位母亲，一名画家，亦或是比尔·盖茨，
if you simply love another person and that gives you the hum,
如果你只是简简单单地爱一个人，而且那让你感受到充实感，
if you know the hum, if you know what the hum feels like, if you have been to the hum,
如果你知道这充实感，如果你知道充实是什么感觉，如果你曾经那样充实过，
when the hum stops, who are you? What are you? What am I? Am I still a titan?
当这充实停止时，你是谁？你是什么？我是什么？我还是一个巨人吗？
If the song of my heart ceases to play, can I survive in the silence?
如果我心中的乐曲停止了演奏，我能否在这死寂中存活呢？
And then my Southern waitress toddler asks me a question.
然后我的“南方服务生”宝贝问了我一个问题。
I'm on my way out the door, I'm late, and she says, "Momma, wanna play?"
我当时正要出门，快要迟到了，她说，“妈妈，一起玩吗？”
And I'm just about to say no, when I realize two things.
当我正要说不的时候，我突然意识到两件事。
One, I'm supposed to say yes to everything, and two, my Southern waitress didn't call me "honey."
第一件事，我应该对所有事说可以，第二件事，我的”南方服务生“没有叫我“亲爱的”。
She's not calling everyone "honey" anymore. When did that happen?
她不再叫任何人“亲爱的”了，什么时候开始的呢？
I'm missing it, being a titan and mourning my hum, and here she is changing right before my eyes.
我正在失去这些，作为一个巨人痛失我的充实感，她就在我眼前变化着。
And so she says, "Momma, wanna play?" And I say, "Yes."
所以她说：“妈妈，一起玩吗？”我回答：“可以。”
There's nothing special about it.
这没有什么特别的。
We play, and we're joined by her sisters, and there's a lot of laughing,
我们一起玩，她的姐姐们也加入了我们，到处都是欢声笑语，
and I give a dramatic reading from the book Everybody Poops. Nothing out of the ordinary.
我给她声情并茂地读了《每个人都便便》这本书，一切都很普通。

And yet, it is extraordinary, because in my pain and my panic, in the homelessness of my humlessness,
但也很不普通，因为我的痛苦，惶恐，无助和失去充实感的这些感觉，
I have nothing to do but pay attention. I focus. I am still.
使得我除了转移注意力别无他法。我很专注。我很平静。
The nation I'm building, the marathon I'm running, the troops, the canvas, the high note does not exist.
那个我建造的国家，那个我正在跑的马拉松，那军队，那帆布，那些高歌，都不存在了。
All that exists are sticky fingers and gooey kisses and tiny voices and crayons
剩下的只有黏糊糊的手指，湿乎乎的亲吻，羸弱的声音和蜡笔，
and that song about letting go of whatever it is that Frozen girl needs to let go of.
以及那首关于放手的歌，也不知道《冰雪奇缘》里那个女孩是要放弃什么。
It's all peace and simplicity. The air is so rare in this place for me that I can barely breathe.
只有宁静和简单。工作时候的空气稀薄到我勉强可以呼吸。
I can barely believe I'm breathing. Play is the opposite of work. And I am happy. Something in me loosens.
我都不能相信我在呼吸。玩耍则与工作完全相反。而且我很快乐。我心里有个地方松动了。
A door in my brain swings open, and a rush of energy comes.
一扇门在我脑海里缓缓打开，一大股能量冲了进来。
And it's not instantaneous, but it happens, it does happen. I feel it. A hum creeps back.
它不是转瞬即逝的，它真实的发生了，我能感觉到，那充实感退缩了。
Not at full volume, barely there, it's quiet, and I have to stay very still to hear it, but it is there.
没有全部消失，但几乎不见了，它很安静，我不得不说我扔能听见它，它还在那里。
Not the hum, but a hum.
不是那种充实感，却是另一种。
And now I feel like I know a very magical secret.
现在我能感觉到我发现了一个神奇的秘密。
Well, let's not get carried away. It's just love. That's all it is.
我们不要说的太远了。这就是爱。仅此而已。
No magic. No secret. It's just love. It's just something we forgot.
一点都不神奇、不是秘密，就是爱，仅仅是有些我们忘记了的东西。
The hum, the work hum, the hum of the titan, that's just a replacement.
那种充实感，从工作上获得的，从成为一个巨人获得的，都只是个替代品。
If I have to ask you who I am, if I have to tell you who I am,
如果我要问你我是谁，如果我要告诉你我是谁，
if I describe myself in terms of shows and hours of television and how globally badass my brain is,
如果我用电视节目来描述我自己，用电视节目的小时数和我的大脑有多么国际化，多么牛掰，
I have forgotten what the real hum is. The hum is not power and the hum is not work-specific.
那是因为我忘记了真正的充实感是什么。这种充实感不是权力，不是一定要与工作有关。
The hum is joy-specific. The real hum is love-specific.
而是有关于快乐的。是关于爱的。
The hum is the electricity that comes from being excited by life. The real hum is confidence and peace.
真正的充实是被生活激发出来的电流。真正的充实是自信与平和。
The real hum ignores the stare of history, and the balls in the air, and the expectation, and the pressure.
真正的充实无视过去的注视，无视各种繁忙琐事，无视那些期待，那些压力。
The real hum is singular and original. The real hum is God's whisper in my ear,
真正的充实是独一无二的、最原始的的。真正的充实是上帝在耳边的轻语，
but maybe God was whispering the wrong words, because which one of the gods was telling me I was the titan?
但也许上帝也会说错话，因为那么多神中的哪一个告诉我，我是巨人的呢？
It's just love. We could all use a little more love, a lot more love.
它只是爱。我们都可以再多付出一点爱，就会有更多的爱。
Any time my child asks me to play, I will say yes.
每次我的孩子要我陪她们玩，我都会答应。
I make it a firm rule for one reason, to give myself permission, to free me from all of my workaholic guilt.
我坚定地这样做有一个原因，给自己放个假，从各种工作狂的愧疚感中解放出来。
It's a law, so I don't have a choice, and I don't have a choice, not if I want to feel the hum.
这是必须做的，我没有别的选择，我没有别的选择，不是因为我想要那个充实感。
I wish it were that easy, but I'm not good at playing. I don't like it.
我希望它很简单，但我不擅长玩耍，我不喜欢玩耍。
I'm not interested in doing it the way I'm interested in doing work.
我没有喜欢工作那样喜欢玩耍。
The truth is incredibly humbling and humiliating to face. I don't like playing.
这个事实让我感到惭愧和愧疚。我不喜欢玩耍。
I work all the time because I like working. I like working more than I like being at home.
我一直在工作，因为我喜欢工作。我更喜欢工作多于待在家里。
Facing that fact is incredibly difficult to handle, because what kind of person likes working more than being at home?
面对这样的事实非常非常难，因为什么样的人会喜欢工作胜于待在家里呢？
Well, me. I mean, let's be honest, I call myself a titan. I've got issues.
我这样的。我是说，说实话，我叫自己巨人。但我也有自己的问题。
And one of those issues isn't that I am too relaxed.
问题之一并不是我太懒散了。
We run around the yard, up and back and up and back. We have 30-second dance parties.
我们绕着院子跑，跑上跑下的，我们有30秒的舞会。
We sing show tunes. We play with balls. I blow bubbles and they pop them.
我们唱流行歌曲。我们踢球。我吹泡泡然后她们戳破。
And I feel stiff and delirious and confused most of the time.
我能感受到一些东西，但大部分时间我很困惑。
I itch for my cell phone always. But it is OK.
我总是离不开我的手机，但这没关系。
My tiny humans show me how to live and the hum of the universe fills me up.
我的小人儿们教会我如何生活，这种最平常的充实感充满了我的内心。
I play and I play until I begin to wonder why we ever stop playing in the first place.
我和她们一起玩，然后不禁思考，我们当初为什么不再玩耍了呢。
You can do it too, say yes every time your child asks you to play.
你也可以做到，每当孩子要你陪他们一起玩的时候都答应。
Are you thinking that maybe I'm an idiot in diamond shoes?
你或许在想我是不是成了那个穿着水晶鞋的傻子？
You're right, but you can still do this. You have time. You know why?
没错，但你仍可以做到，你有时间，你知道为什么吗？
Because you're not Rihanna and you're not a Muppet. Your child does not think you're that interesting.
因为你不是蕾哈娜，也不是一个木偶。你的孩子并不会觉得你那么有意思。
You only need 15 minutes. My two- and four-year-old only ever want to play with me for about 15 minutes
你只需要15分钟。我的两岁和四岁的孩子只想和我玩大约15分钟，
or so before they think to themselves they want to do something else.
然后就会开始想干别的事情了。
It's an amazing 15 minutes, but it's 15 minutes.
这是美好的15分钟，但只是15分钟。
If I'm not a ladybug or a piece of candy, I'm invisible after 15 minutes.
如果我不是一只瓢虫或者一块糖的话，15分钟后她们就不理会我了。
And my 13-year-old, if I can get a 13-year-old to talk to me for 15 minutes I'm Parent of the Year.
至于我那个13岁的女儿，如果我能让一个13岁的孩子跟我聊15分钟的天，那我就能成为年度最佳父母了。
15 minutes is all you need. I can totally pull off 15 minutes of uninterrupted time on my worst day.
你只需要15分钟。即使是在我表现最不好的一天，我也可以挤出15分钟不被打扰的时间。
Uninterrupted is the key. No cell phone, no laundry, no anything.
不被打扰是关键。不要打电话，不要洗衣服，不要做其他任何事。
You have a busy life. You have to get dinner on the table. You have to force them to bathe.
你很忙。你要准备晚饭，你要催着他们去洗澡。
But you can do 15 minutes. My kids are my happy place, they're my world,
但你仍可以有这15分钟。我的孩子们是我的乐土，她们是我的全世界，
but it doesn't have to be your kids, the fuel that feeds your hum, the place where life feels more good than not good.
但不一定要是你的孩子们，那个让你生活更充实的动力，那个让你感到生活更美好的地方。
It's not about playing with your kids, it's about joy. It's about playing in general.
这不是因为和孩子们玩耍，而是关于快乐。是普遍意义上的玩。
Give yourself the 15 minutes. Find what makes you feel good. Just figure it out and play in that arena.
给你自己15分钟。找到什么让你感到更好。去弄清楚然后好好享受。
I'm not perfect at it. In fact, I fail as often as I succeed, seeing friends, reading books, staring into space.
我在这方面并不擅长。实际上，我失败的并不比我成功的少，拜访朋友，阅读，仰望星空。
"Wanna play?" starts to become shorthand for indulging myself
“一起玩吗？”成为了使我放松自己的捷径，
in ways I'd given up on right around the time I got my first TV show,
代替了我完成第一个电视节目的时候，
right around the time I became a titan-in-training, right around the time I started competing with myself for ways unknown.
代替了我变成巨人的过程，代替了我跟自己在各个方面较劲的时候。
15 minutes? What could be wrong with giving myself my full attention for 15 minutes? Turns out, nothing.
15分钟？让我自己全身心的投入到这15分钟里，又有什么错呢？结果是，没有错。
The very act of not working has made it possible for the hum to return,
恰恰是不工作使我找回了充实感，
as if the hum's engine could only refuel while I was away. Work doesn't work without play.
就好像是“充实感”这个电动机，只有在我不在的时候才会加满油。如果没有娱乐，工作不叫工作。
It takes a little time, but after a few months, one day the floodgates open and there's a rush,
这可能会需要一段时间，但几个月后，有一天水闸打开，一股急流涌进来，
and I find myself standing in my office filled with an unfamiliar melody,
我正站在自己的办公室，伴着陌生的旋律，
full on groove inside me, and around me, and it sends me spinning with ideas,
填满了我内心的空虚，它包围着我，让我迸发出很多好点子，
and the humming road is open, and I can drive it and drive it, and I love working again.
这条充实的道路有打开了，我可以一直一直开下去，我再次爱上了工作。
But now, I like that hum, but I don't love that hum.
但现在，我爱的是这种充实，不是以前那种。
I don't need that hum. I am not that hum. That hum is not me, not anymore.
我不需要以前的那种，我不是那种充实，那种充实也不是我，再也不是。
I am bubbles and sticky fingers and dinners with friends.
我是泡泡，我是黏糊糊的手指，是和朋友一起吃晚餐的普通人。
I am that hum. Life's hum. Love's hum.
我是这种充实。生活很充实。爱很充实。
Work's hum is still a piece of me, it is just no longer all of me, and I am so grateful.
工作带来的充实只是我的一部分，再也不是我的全部，我心怀感恩。
And I don't give a crap about being a titan, because I have never once seen a titan play Red Rover, Red Rover.
我不在乎我能不能成为巨人，因为我从没见过一个巨人在玩“红色漫游者”。
I said yes to less work and more play, and somehow I still run my world.
我对更少的工作和跟更多的玩耍说我要，我仍以某种方式掌握着我的世界。
My brain is still global. My campfires still burn.
我的大脑仍然是全球的。我的篝火还在燃烧。
The more I play, the happier I am, and the happier my kids are.
我玩的越多，我越快乐，我的孩子也越快乐。
The more I play, the more I feel like a good mother.
我玩的越多，我越觉得自己是个合格的母亲。
The more I play, the freer my mind becomes. The more I play, the better I work.
我玩的越多，我的心情也就越自由。我玩的越多，我工作做得越好。
The more I play, the more I feel the hum, the nation I'm building, the marathon I'm running,
我玩的越多，我越能感受那那充实，我建造的那个国家，我在跑的那个马拉松，
the troops, the canvas, the high note, the hum, the hum, the other hum, the real hum, life's hum.
那个军队，那帆布，那高歌，那充实感，那充实感，另一个充实感，才是真正的充实，生活很充实。
The more I feel that hum, the more this strange, quivering, uncocooned, awkward, brand new, alive non-titan feels like me.
我越感觉充实，我越觉得这个陌生的，发抖的，与世隔绝的，手足无措的，全新的，充满生机的不是巨人的那个我才是我。
The more I feel that hum, the more I know who I am. I'm a writer, I make stuff up, I imagine.
我越多的感受到那充实，我越清楚我到底是谁。我是一个作家，我创造，我想象。
That part of the job, that's living the dream. That's the dream of the job.
工作的这一部分就像是做梦，这是关于工作的梦。
Because a dream job should be a little bit dreamy.
因为理想工作是带着梦幻气息的。
I said yes to less work and more play. Titans need not apply. Wanna play? Thank you.
我对更少的工作和更多的玩耍说我要。这不是巨人的要求。一起玩吗？谢谢。