You're telling a friend an amazing story, and you just get to the best part when suddenly he interrupts, "The alien and I," not "Me and the alien."
你正给朋友讲一个精彩的故事，刚讲到最精彩的部分时，他突然打断了你说：应该是“外星人和我”而不是“我和外星人”。
Most of us would probably be annoyed, but aside from the rude interruption, does your friend have a point?
许多人都会对这种行为感到反感，先抛开无礼的打断不谈，想想你朋友说的有道理吗？
Was your sentence actually grammatically incorrect?
你说的这句话从语法上讲真的是错的吗？
And if he still understood it, why does it even matter?
要是他依旧能理解你的意思，那么这样做又有什么意义呢？
From the point of view of linguistics,
从语言学的角度来看，
grammar is a set of patterns for how words are put together to form phrases or clauses, whether spoken or in writing.
语法就是一系列规则，教你怎样在口语和写作中用单词构成短语和句子。
Different languages have different patterns.
不同的语言有着不同的规则。
In English, the subject normally comes first, followed by the verb, and then the object,
比如在英语中，主语通常放在最前面，谓语动词跟在主语后面，宾语则放在最后，
while in Japanese and many other languages, the order is subject, object, verb.
而在日语和其他许多语言中顺序却变成了主语、宾语和谓语动词。
Some scholars have tried to identify patterns common to all languages,
一些学者尝试找到适用于所有语言的规则，
but apart from some basic features, like having nouns or verbs, few of these so-called linguistic universals have been found.
但是除了一些基本的属性，比如所有语言都有名词和动词，所谓的语言上的共性几乎是不存在的。
And while any language needs consistent patterns to function,
尽管所有语言都得按照一套固定的规则来，
the study of these patterns opens up an ongoing debate between two positions known as prescriptivism and descriptivism.
但有两方观点在这些规则的研究上始终争论不休，即规定主义和描写主义。
Grossly simplified, prescriptivists think a given language should follow consistent rules,
简单来说，规定主义认为一门既定的语言要遵循固定的规则，
while descriptivists see variation and adaptation as a natural and necessary part of language.
而描写主义则认为变化和调整是语言正常且必要的一部分。
For much of history, the vast majority of language was spoken.
绝大多数语言在其大部分历史时期中都是用于口头的交流。
But as people became more interconnected and writing gained importance,
不过随着人们相互之间联系的增多，书写的地位开始提升。
written language was standardized to allow broader communication and ensure that people in different parts of a realm could understand each other.
于是书面语开始规范化，以适用于更为广泛的交流同时也确保了不同地方的人能够理解这些语言所表达的意思。
In many languages, this standard form came to be considered the only proper one,
对于大多数语言而言，这一标准形式被认为是唯一合适的，
despite being derived from just one of many spoken varieties, usually that of the people in power.
但实际上它却是从众多不同的口语形式中脱颖而出且通常情况下来自掌权的一方。

Language purists worked to establish and propagate this standard by detailing a set of rules that reflected the established grammar of their times.
通过将那个时代已有的一系列语法规则详尽记录下来，语言纯粹主义者们开始建立并传播这一标准。
And rules for written grammar were applied to spoken language, as well.
书面语言所涉及的语法同样也适用于口语。
Speech patterns that deviated from the written rules were considered corruptions, or signs of low social status,
而那些偏离了书面语语法的口语则被认为是错误的，或者是社会地位低下的表现，
and many people who had grown up speaking in these ways were forced to adopt the standardized form.
于是许多从小就按照这一规则说话的人被迫开始接受标准的语法规则。
More recently, however, linguists have understood that speech is a separate phenomenon from writing with its own regularities and patterns.
直到最近语言学家才意识到口语和书面语完全是两码事，口语有它自己的规律性和模式。
Most of us learn to speak at such an early age that we don't even remember it.
在我们还不能记事的时候就开始学习说话了。
We form our spoken repertoire through unconscious habits, not memorized rules.
那个时候更多是通过下意识的行为来构建说话技能，而不是记住那些规则。
And because speech also uses mood and intonation for meaning, its structure is often more flexible, adapting to the needs of speakers and listeners.
由于口语也会用到语气和语调来传达意思，所以它的结构更加地多样化，会根据说话者和听者的需求进行调整。
This could mean avoiding complex clauses that are hard to parse in real time,
这就意味着在说话时应该避免一些难以理解的复杂句子，
making changes to avoid awkward pronunciation, or removing sounds to make speech faster.
做出适当调整避免一些尴尬的发音或是通过略读让语速加快。
The linguistic approach that tries to understand and map such differences without dictating correct ones is known as descriptivism.
尝试去理解和比对语法上的这些差异却不定义对错的语言学方法被称为描写主义。
Rather than deciding how language should be used, it describes how people actually use it,
相比于决定该如何使用语言，描写主义更倾向于叙述人们实际上是怎样使用语言的，
and tracks the innovations they come up with in the process.
并追溯在这一过程中出现的一些新方法。
But while the debate between prescriptivism and descriptivism continues, the two are not mutually exclusive.
尽管描写主义和规定主义之间的争论会一直持续下去，但它们二者之间并不是互相排斥的。
At its best, prescriptivism is useful for informing people about the most common established patterns at a given point in time.
规定主义可以在某个特定的时间点告诉人们最为通用的确定模式。
This is important, not only for formal contexts, but it also makes communication easier between non-native speakers from different backgrounds.
这一点不仅在正式场合很重要，也使得来自不同国家不同背景的非母语人士交流起来更加容易。
Descriptivism, on the other hand, gives us insight into how our minds work and the instinctive ways in which we structure our view of the world.
另一方面，描写主义会让我们看到自己的想法如何运作以及如何本能地构建自己的世界观。
Ultimately, grammar is best thought of as a set of linguistic habits that are constantly being negotiated and reinvented by the entire group of language users.
从根本上说，语法顶多被认为是一系列不断被所有的语言使用者争论和改造的语言习惯。
Like language itself, it's a wonderful and complex fabric woven through the contributions of speakers and listeners,
就像语言本身就像一匹精美复杂的布，经由从古至今的说话者，听众，
writers and readers, prescriptivists and descriptivists, from both near and far.
作者，读者，规定主义者和描写主义者们的共同努力编织而成。