So, for those of you just tuning in, we are listening to a really fun fight between my costar...
各位刚刚开始收听的听众，我们正在直播一场生动有趣的情侣吵架。由我的合演者...
No, no, no. We're not fighting; we're just...having a conversation.
不对不对，我们没有吵架。我们只是在谈话而已。
All right. We're listening to a really fun conversation between my costar from Serial Ape-ist 2 and her fiance, who doesn't believe women should have dreams.
好吧。我们正在直播一场生动有趣的情侣谈话，由我在《杀人恶猿2》中的合演者，和她不相信女性也能有梦想的未婚夫出演。
Give me back that juice. What is the harm if I audition? Well, what if you get it?
把果汁还给我。就算我去试镜了又会怎样？要是你得到那个角色了呢？
I don't know, I make a movie, become rich and famous, win an Oscar, a Golden Globe and live an incredibly wonderful life.
我不知道。我大概会拍部电影、变得多金又出名、将奥斯卡和金球奖纳入囊中、从此过上幸福又快乐的生活吧。
From a Kevin Smith movie? Oh, I'm hanging up now.
就凭一部凯文·史密斯的电影吗？人家要挂电话了。
Don't you listen to him, buddy. You're awesome. You're one of the greatest directors of our time.
别理他，老兄。你是最棒的。你是本世纪最伟大的导演之一。
I don't have a part for you, Wheaton. And that was Kevin Smith. Thanks a lot.
我没有角色给你，威顿。拜拜吧，凯文·史密斯。真是多谢你。
I'm just trying to protect you. How many times did I see you get your heart broken trying to make it as an actress?
我只是想保护你。我多少次看见你为了追求演员梦而伤心欲绝了？
Okay, instead of protecting me, why don't you try being excited when something good happens?
除了保护我，你为什么不能为我的好事而开心一点呢？
I'm always excited for you! I'm excited that you found this new job where you're making decent money.
我一直都很为你高兴啊！你找到了这份新工作，挣到了不错的工资，我就很开心。
Decent? I make twice what you make. Wait, twice? ! Yeah.
什么不错？我挣的钱是你的两倍呢。什么，两倍？！是的。
Like, "times two" twice?
你是指，乘以2那么多吗？
For those of you at home, Leonard just found out his fiancee makes way more money than he does. Let's listen.
各位听众，莱纳德刚刚发现他的未婚妻收入比他高很多。让我们继续听下去。
I went to school for half my life. I have a doctorate. I'm still paying off college loans.
我读了半辈子的书，得到了博士学位。现在我还在忙着还学贷。
Well, how much do you owe? Maybe I can help you out.
你还欠多少钱啊？也许我可以帮帮你。
Wil, can we just turn off the podcast for a little bit?
威尔，你可以把播客停一下吗？
For those of you at home, I am shaking my head "no".
各位听众，我现在正在摇头。
How's it going, Sheldon?
进行得如何啊，谢尔顿？
Wonderful! I just finished hanging the lights.
棒极了！我刚刚把灯都挂上了。
Can I come in? Yes, oh, but enter through the side. Batman is a load-bearing blanket. Amazing.
我可以进来吗？好呀，不过要从旁边进来。蝙蝠侠毯子是用来承重的。好漂亮啊。
I know. This isn't the printout. This is my real face.
对吧。这可不是打印出来的哦，这是我发自内心的笑脸。
What are we doing? This is a fort. Let's sit on the floor.
我们干嘛呢？这里是堡垒，我们应该坐在地上。
Roughing it? Okay. Everything looks so big from down here. This must be how Leonard feels.
来野的吗？好呀。从这个角度看一切都变得好大。莱纳德平时一定就这感觉。
I'm surprised you could hear me with this Thin Mint in your ear! Yeah, pretty cool, huh?
你居然还能听见我说话，因为你的耳朵已经被薄荷糖塞住了！很厉害对不对？
Yeah. Anyway, I should probably get going.
对呀。总之，我应该告辞了。
Howie, have you noticed how often people say that when you start to do magic?
华仔，你注意到每次你玩魔术时大家都会说同样的话吗？
Sorry, I have a long drive. Well, I hope I get to see you again.
抱歉，我要开很长的路回家。希望能再次见到你。
I hope so, too. I've always dreamed of having a brother to play catch with.
我也希望。我一直梦想有哥哥能陪我一起玩抛接球。
Keep dreaming.
继续梦，别停。
Hey, I threw out the first pitch at an Angels game. Wow!
我为天使队开过球。哇哦！
He did it with a robot. You had sex with a robot?
他拿机器人干的。你干过机器人吗？
That's not what she meant. But technically, yes.
她不是那个意思。但你说得也没错。
Hang on, if you're making all this money, where is it? In a safe place.
等等，你赚了那么多钱，那钱哪去了？在安全的地方。
What does that mean, under your bed?
什么意思，藏你床底下了吗？
No, it means a diversified portfolio of stocks and bonds.
不是，是股票及债券的多元化投资组合。
I'm not overly conservative. I'm young, so my guy said I can afford to take some risks.
我没有太保守，毕竟还年轻，我的理财顾问说我冒得了这些风险。
Wait a minute, you have "a guy"? Don't you have a guy?
等等，你还有个理财顾问？你没有吗？
Why would I have a guy? I don't have any money!
我怎么会有理财顾问？我连财都没有！
Oh, sweetie, you should really get some money.
宝贝，你真应该去赚点钱了。
For those of you listening at home, how great is this?
正在家收听直播的各位听众，节目是不是老精彩了？
Wil, I'm begging you, just please turn that off. Sure. And we're back.
威尔，拜托你，把那个关了吧。好的。欢迎回来。
Leonard, why are you making such a big deal out of this? So our roles have changed a bit over the last couple years.
莱纳德，你为什么要这么在乎这些事？这几年我们的角色确实有些变化。
This is the way life is. And I'm sure in time they'll change again.
人生就是这样啊。风水轮流转，很快就又转回你这里了。
Great, you're not only more successful than me, now you're more mature.
太好了，你现在不仅事业比我成功，人还比我成熟了。
Okay, look, would it make you feel better if I did something dumb like sneak out of work one day to go audition for a Kevin Smith movie? That would be great, thank you!
那这样，如果我做点蠢事你会开心一点吗？比如我翘一天班，去参加一下凯文·史密斯的试镜？那就太好了，谢谢！
I'm just gonna jump in here real quick.
我就插一句话，很快。
Leonard, a moment ago, you were dead set against Penny resuming her acting career, but now you're all for it.
莱纳德，就在不久前，你还极力反对佩妮重回她的演艺事业，现在你又全力支持了。
Is it fair to say that she played you like a violin? Yes, it is, Wil.
是不是说明她将你玩弄于股掌之中？是的，没错，威尔。
So, I have to ask, was the robot sexy?
我忍不住想问，那个机器人很性感吗？
It was actually just a mechanical hand.
它其实就是只机械手。
'Cause that's all you need, right? You are my brother.
因为有只手就够了，对吧？你真是我亲弟弟。
Okay, so the final four forts in the first annual best fort ever contest, or "Fort off," are Fort Knox, Fort Ticonderoga, Fort Sumter and...Fort Cozy McBlanket.
好，第一届年度最佳堡垒大赛，或简称堡垒大对决最后四强为诺克斯堡、提康德罗加堡、萨姆特堡...舒适毯堡。
I'd say...Knox over Ticonderoga 'cause it's got the gold.
我认为...诺克斯堡力压提康德罗加堡，因为它那有金子。
And McBlanket over Sumter 'cause it has a higher thread count. 10:00. Date night's over.
舒适毯堡完胜萨姆特堡，因为它织物针数高。十点了。约会之夜结束了。
Wait, no. We haven't picked a winner. We both know this one's gonna win.
等等，不要。我们还没选出冠军呢。我们都知道这个堡会胜出的。
Well, of course we do. Fort Knox doesn't have a secret physics lending library.
确实如此。毕竟诺克斯堡没有秘密物理学图书馆。
Come on, I'll help you take this down.
来，我帮你拆了。
Well, wait. What if, just this once, we suspend the date night parameters and you stay later?
等等。我们破例一晚，约会之夜的限制因素暂时失效，你多待一会好吗？
Well, as long as we're suspending the parameters, I could stay really late and we could have our first sleepover.
既然限制因素暂时失效，我可以待到非常晚。我们还可以第一次同居一晚。
That's a big step. It's a big fort.
这可是一大步啊。毕竟这么大个堡。
Very well. I will agree to a family-friendly, G-rated, boy-girl sleepover.
很好。我同意来一晚阖家欢乐的、老少咸宜的、 男孩女孩式的大众级过夜。
Pg. Some scenes may be too intense for younger viewers.
家长陪同级。某些场景对少儿来讲过于强烈。
G-rated, with a warning for families with babies and toddlers.
老少咸宜级，附有对有婴儿及幼童家庭的警示。
You got yourself a sleepover.
你成功获得过夜小伙伴。
Do you need to borrow a toothbrush or pajamas?
用不用借你牙刷和睡衣？
Would it alarm you to know that I hid those things here two years ago just in case this ever came up?
我要是说为了以备不时之需我两年前就在这藏好了一份过夜包，你会不会吓到？
It would, but you know how much I admire preparedness. How did you know we'd be in the living room?
会的，但你知道我对充分准备是有多欣赏的。你怎么知道我们会在客厅睡呢？
Who says this is the only one I hid?
谁告诉你我只藏了这一份了？
Hello? What is this? We built a fort! Are those my sheets? Yes, they are.
有人吗？这什么东西？我们建了个堡垒！那是我床单吗？没错。
Okay. Well, you kids have fun. I'm gonna go to sleep.
好吧。孩子们，你们开心就好。我去睡了。
Leonard, don't you want to see the inside of the fort? Yeah, I'm good.
莱纳德，你不想看看堡垒里面什么样子吗？不用了。
Oh, come on. I really wanted to tell someone they can't come in.
来嘛，我真的很想试试将人拒之门外。
Okay, fine. Sheldon, may I please visit your fort?
好吧。谢尔顿，我能进你的堡垒参观一下吗？
I want to say no, but it's too glorious. Get in here! Thank you.
我想拒绝，但里面太棒了。快进来！谢谢。
Okay, have a seat on the floor. Not there. That's my spot.
请在地上就座。那里不行，那是我的专座。