Smell that? That's the smell of new comic books. Oh, yes.
闻到没？新漫画书的味道。哦，没错。
They're on me today, boys. You're paying? Have you been selling your sperm again?
哥们，今儿个都算我账上。你付钱？你又卖精子了？
No, I'm celebrating. As we speak, the space shuttle is docking at the International Space Station where it will deploy the Wolowitz Zero-Gravity Waste Disposal System.
不，只是庆祝下。我们说话的当时航天飞机正对接的国际空间站采用了沃勒威茨零重力废物处理系统。
Get over yourself. It's a high-tech toilet.
少臭美了，不过是高科技厕所。
Just think. Thanks to your hard work, an international crew of astronauts will "boldly go where no man has gone before."
想想吧，多亏了你的付出，飞船的国际宇航员都能大胆去往无人探索的地方。
Is that supposed to be funny?
你这是搞笑吗？
I believe it is. The combination of the Star Trek reference and the play on words involving the double-meaning of the verb "to go" suggests that Leonard is mocking your efforts in space plumbing.
我想是的。引用星际迷航的话来玩"去"和"冲"的文字游戏表示兰纳德在幽默的嘲笑你对宇航管道装置所下的良苦用心。
Okay, make your little jokes, but of the four of us, I'm the only one making any real-world contribution to science and technology.
好吧，笑你们的吧，但四个人中只有我对科技做出了实际贡献。
He's right. This is an important achievement, for two reasons. Number one...and, of course, number two!
他说的对，基于两点原因，这是一项重大的成果，第一...还有当然了第二！
Oh! Clever! Playing on the use of cardinal numbers as euphemisms for bodily functions.
行啊你！用基数词做文章来委婉表达人体机能。
Here, Sheldon, I pulled the new Hellboy for you. It's mind-blowing.
谢尔顿，给你新的地狱男孩，绝对大跌眼镜。
Excuse me. Spoiler alert. I didn't spoil anything.
你咋回事啊，剧透啦。我啥也没透啊。
You told me it's mind-blowing. So, my mind is going into it pre-blown. And once a mind is pre-blown, it cannot be re-blown.
你都说会大跌眼镜了，所以我看之前眼镜就提前跌了，提前跌完就不能再跌了。
I'm Sorry The Grinch to Christmas.
我很抱歉圣诞节的扫兴鬼。
Hi, Leonard. Can I talk to you about something? What's up?
嘿，兰纳德，咱谈谈成吗？行啊，啥事？
Remember I went out with Penny, a couple weeks ago? Yeah, vaguely.
记得几周前我和你朋友佩妮约会不？嗯，记不太清了。
Sure you remember. You went to the bar and made a fool of yourself trying to pick up strange women.
记不住才怪，那晚你去酒吧自欺欺人，打算泡陌生美眉。
What about it? -The thing is, the date didn't go that well.
咋了呢？是这样，约会不太成功。
Too bad. I guess the thing to do now is just pick yourself up, dust yourself off, forget it and move on.
真遗憾。我想现在你该站起来振作一下，忘记此事向前看。
I can't do that. Why the hell not? Cause we're going out again tomorrow.
不行的。有啥不行的吧？因为明晚我们又要约会了。
Excuse me, Stuart. Have you read the new Flash? -No.
打扰下，斯图尔特。看了最新的闪电侠没？没有。我看完了，这期会赞得你下巴都掉下来的。
Well, I have and it will knock your socks off! Good luck getting them back on.
祝你能把它推回去。
Anyway this is probably my last shot with Penny and I don't want to screw it up. -Nobody wants that.
总之这是我和佩妮的最后机会了，我不想搞砸了。谁想搞砸啊。
So, here's my question, It's the second date, you think she'll be expecting things to get physical?
所以我的问题就来了，第二次约会你觉得她会不会想来点...身体接触？
Gee...My initial reaction is "no," but let me think about it and get back to you.
哎呀...我第一反应是不想，但还是让我想想吧，回来告诉你。
Ok, So, you'll give me a call? -Yeah, or you call me. Great. -Or nobody calls anyone.
那你打给我？嗯，你打给我也成。好。谁也不给谁打更成。
Interesting. Penny's current suitor asking advice from her former suitor.
有点意思，佩妮的现追求者向前追求者取经。
You know, thanks for closed-captioning my pain, Raj.
谢谢你解说我的痛楚拉什。
Hey, wanna make sure he gets nowhere with Penny without jeopardizing your friendship with either of them?
嘿，想既不让他和佩妮有进展又不妨碍你和他俩的友情吗？
I'm listening. -Just tell him to do everything you've done with her for the last two years.
洗耳恭听。让他做过去两年来你和她做的事。
How's it going? Good, good. You? -Fine. Can I ask you something? -Sure.
过得怎么样？蛮好蛮好，你呢？挺好的。问你点事好不？好呀。
You know your friend Stuart?Yes.-He asked me out again and I said yes, and then I started thinking maybe I should talk to you first. -About what?
记得你朋友斯图尔特吗？知道。他又约我出去，我答应了，然后我想似乎应该先问问你的意见。啥意见？
Well, does it bother you, me going out with one of your friends? You know, you and me...
你会介意不，我跟你朋友约会？因为那啥嘛，你和我...
No, that's the past. I'm really more of a "right now" kind of guy. You know, living in the moment.
不会啦，那都老黄历了，我可是那种更计较现在的人，懂吧，活在当下。
Although I do have to live a little in the future, 'cause that's my job.
虽说我的确需要关注未来，因为我的工作嘛，
Of course, my fondness for classic science fiction does draw my attention backwards, but those stories often take place in the future.
当然啦，我对经典科幻小说的喜爱会把我的焦点拉回一点点。但那些故事常常发生在未来嘛。
In conclusion, no, it doesn't bother me. -Okay, well, that's really cool of you.
总之我不介意。好，你能这样想真好。
I wouldn't say cool. I'd just say..."That's Leonard!"
不是啥好不好的，要我说是兰纳德就是这种人嘛！
In that case, do you mind giving me some advice? -About Stuart? Love to.
既然酱紫，那你能给点啥建议不？关于斯特尔特的？愿意啊。
He's very shy. How do I make him feel more comfortable around me?
他很害羞，怎么能让他在我身边自在点？
First of all, don't underestimate the value of discomfort.
首先不要低估不自在的价值。
Really? -Yes. Stuart thrives under pressure. That's why he works in a comic book store.
真的呀？斯图尔特在压力下爆发，所以他在漫画书店工作嘛。
You're not going to answer it? -He wants to talk about Penny. I don't want to talk about Penny.
你不打算接？－他想谈佩妮的事，我不想谈佩妮。
You're making an assumption. Perhaps the comic book store is on fire. And he needs your assistance.
你的假设而已啊，或许是漫画书店着火了呢。他需要你的帮助。
Why would he call me? -We don't know. And if you don't answer the phone, we can't know.
那打给我干啥？不知道呀。你要是不接电话呢，我们怎么会知道。
I'm not answering the phone, Sheldon. Answer the phone, Leonard. -No!
我才不要接电话，谢尔顿。接电话兰纳德！不接！
There, it went to voice mail. -Aren't you going to check your messages?
好啦，转接语音信箱啦。你不读你的信息吗？
No! You have to check your messages, Leonard! The living of a message is one half of a social contract which is completed by the checking of the message.
不要！你必须读下信息兰纳德，既然留信息那就要读信息才能实现这一社会契约。
If that contract breaks down, then all social contracts break down and we descend into anarchy.
如果这契约破碎了，那所有社会契约都会破碎，我们会陷入混乱状态。
It must be hell inside your head. -At times.
你脑子里一定纠结死了吧。偶尔。
Guys, we have a code red. -You mean Code Red the hospital emergency alert, the computer worm, or the cherry-flavored soft drink from the makers of Mountain Dew?
伙计们，我们有紧急情况了。－紧急情况是指医院紧急警报？电脑病毒？还是马丁?戴维做的樱桃味饮料？
Look, I was going over the schematics on my zero-G toilet, and I made a teeny tiny mistake on the specifications for the diverter valve.
听着，我在看我零重力厕所的图纸，发现在分流阀的设计上犯了一个小小的错误。
How teeny tiny? -It's gonna fail after about ten flushes.
有多小？冲10次水差不多就挂了。
But the mission is for six months. -See, that's the code red.
但这任务是要持续6个月的。对啊，这就是紧急情况。
It's kind of like a jack-in-the-box. No one knows exactly when, but at some point something way worse than a puppet is gonna pop out of that box.
这有点像小丑盒子，没有人知道具体时间，但不定时的会有比玩偶更糟糕的东西从那盒子里喷出来。
Have you notified NASA? -Are you crazy? What am I gonna say? I screwed up your toilet and there's gonna be crap floating all over your nice shiny space station?
你给NASA报告了吗？你疯了吗？我要怎么说？我把你们的厕所搞砸了，以后会有大便漂浮在你们那整洁明亮的空间站里？
What are you gonna do? I'm gonna figure out how to fix it, then I'll tell them.
你要怎么办？我要弄清楚怎么修，然后再告诉他们。
So, what do you need us for? -He can't figure out how to fix it.
那你需要我们做什么呢？他弄不清楚怎么修。
You said you were gonna be supportive. I'm trying, but you have to admit this is pretty damn funny.
你说你会支持我的。我是啊，但你得承认这太他妈好笑了。
I agree. It's the juxtaposition of the high-tech nature of space exploration against the banality of a malfunctioning toilet that provides the comic fodder here.
我同意。这关系到太空爆炸的高科技特性和厕所故障的平凡特性的对立，这是个喜剧素材哦。
Check your messages. -All right, this is an exact duplicate of the Wolowitz Zero-Gravity Human Waste Disposal System as deployed on the International Space Station.
快读你的信息！好的，这就是为国际空间站设计的沃勒威茨零重力人类废物处理系统的复制品。
Don't you mean the Wolowitz Zero-Gravity Human Waste Distribution System?
你的意思不是沃勒威茨零重力人类废物排放系统吧？
It's hilarious. Now, Here's an approximation of the spare parts available on the Space Station.
太好笑了。现在，这里有空间站里有可能找到的所有零件。
We gotta find a way, using nothing but this, to reinforce this so the waste material avoids the spinning turbine.
我们要想出一个方法只用这些来改造这个，那样废物就能避开旋转的涡轮机了。
You mean so it doesn't hit the fan?
你是说那样就碰不到风扇了？
Yeah, I have to say, I thought the toilet humor would get less funny with repetition.
我不得不说，这厕所幽默再说下去就不这么好笑了。
Apparently, there is no law of diminishing comedic returns with space poop.
很显然，没有法律规定要减少带太空大便返回。