teaches us "that it is possible for the matter above this stool to spontaneously turn into a beautiful woman who might accept my offer and fall in love with me."
告诉我们这位子上的物体有可能自然地转化成一个漂亮的姑娘，接受我的请客并与我坠入爱河。
The owner then says, "Well, lots of single, beautiful women come in here ever day.
老板说这儿每天有很多单身美女客人，
Why don't you buy an ice cream for one of them, and they might fall in love with you?"
你干嘛不给其中一位买份冰淇淋呢，她们也许会与你坠入爱河啊。
And the physicist says, "Yeah, but what are the odds of that happening?"
物理学家答道是啊，但又有多大可能呢？
It's a little insulting, don't you think? How would I know? I'm not even sure I get it.
这笑话有点伤人不是吗？我怎么知道？我都不确定我是不是真懂了。
Hey, Leonard? If you're done with the DVD player, can you set up my printer? Uh, yeah, I'd love to.
嘿，兰纳德，你要是弄完了DVD播放机能帮我装下打印机吗？噢好的，我很乐意。
Uh, hey, maybe when you're done with her printer, you could set up mine. You know, like you promised...a week ago. Yeah, I'll get to it-- don't nag me.
嘿，也许等你弄完了她的打印机能再帮我装一下我的。你知道的，你一周前就……答应了。好的我会去装的，别唠叨我。
Hello there. Who is it? Oh hello, Penny. It's open. come in. Sarcasm.
嗨。是哪位？你好，佩妮，门是开的，请进。讽刺吧。
Well, they're all still up there.
他们还在楼上。
You think I can't hear them? Listen to that, stomp, stomp, stomp. That's Wolowitz in his stacked heels that fool no one.
你以为我听不到？听，咚咚咚。傻子都知道是沃勒威茨那婀娜小脚在走来走去。
I don't even know why I care. I don't care. All right, I cared enough to memorize that stupid joke, but that's all I care.
我都不知道我为什么要在乎，我才不在乎呢。好吧，我在乎到去背那个愚蠢的笑话，但我就在乎这个而已。
You know, Penny, there's something that occurs in beehives you might find interesting.
知道吗，佩妮，蜂窝里的事你也许会感兴趣。
Occasionally, a new queen will arrive while the old queen is still in power.
有时在老蜂后仍掌权时，会有一个新蜂后到来。
When this happens, the old queen must either locate to a new hive or engage in a battle to the death until only one queen remains.
这种情形下，老蜂后要么移居到一个新蜂窝，要么拼死一搏，直到只有一个蜂后存活下来。
What are you saying, that I'm threatened by Alicia? That I'm like the old queen of the hive and it's just time for me to go?
你什么意思，我受到艾丽西纳的威胁了吗？我就像那个蜂窝的老蜂后，是时候要我离开了？
I'm just talking about bees. They're on The Discovery Channel. What are you talking about?
我只是在谈论蜜蜂啊。探索频道里播的。你在说什么呢？
Bees. I just got that physicist joke.
蜜蜂。我终于明白那物理学家笑话了。
Gee, Penny, thanks for buying us dinner.
哇，佩妮，谢谢你给我们买晚餐。
Yeah, what's the occasion? No, no occasion-- just felt like getting some Chinese chow for my peeps.
是啊，有何事相求？没什么相求，只想给我的小鹬鸟们买些中国食物。
Did you remember to ask for the chicken with broccoli to be diced, not shredded?
你记得要求鸡肉里的蔬菜切成块不是切碎吗？
Yes. Even though the menu description specifies shredded? Yes. Brown rice, not white? Yes.
是。即使菜单上说是切碎？是。糙米不是白米？是。
You stop at the Korean grocery and get the good hot mustard? Yes.
你到韩食店买了上等的热芥末？是。
Did you pick up the low-sodium soy sauce from the market? Yes. Good.
在超市里买了低钠的酱油？是。很好。
See how it's done, Leonard?
瞧人家怎么干的，兰纳德。
So, what do we got going on tonight, huh? Playing Halo watching Battle star, drop some Mentos in Diet Coke?
我们今晚做什么好呢，嗯？玩光晕，看《太空堡垒》还是玩健怡可乐里放薄荷糖？
You want to watch Battle star? What can I say? I got my geek on, boys.
你想看《太空堡垒》？我能怎么说呢？伙计们，我的极客细胞活跃起来了。
No, no, PMS is different. Oh, thank God you're home. I need help.
不不是，经前综合症不这样。哦，谢天谢地你在家，我需要帮助。
What's wrong? I just got a callback to audition for CSI to play a hooker who gets killed.
怎么了？我刚收到CSI试演的回复，扮演一个被杀害的妓女。
Oh, I'd watch that. But my car is in the shop, and I have to be at Universal in 45 minutes.
哦，我会看的。但我的车在店里，我得在45分钟内赶到环球影城。
Okay, well, I'll take you. Oh, you're a lifesaver. I'll run lines with you in the car.
好吧，那我载你去。哦，你真是救世主。我和你一起坐车去。
Great. And afterward, I'll take you all out for Chinese.
太好了，之后我请你们大伙儿吃中国菜。
Oh, actually, that's okay. We already have...Yum. Starving.
其实没关系，我们已经...好耶，饿得不行了。
Chinese food right here. They're gone, Penny. They can't hear you.
正在吃中国菜。他们走了，佩妮，听不到你的话。
I cannot believe they're letting her just use them like that. I mean, anything she wants, they go panting after her like trained dogs.
真不敢相信他们就这样任凭她利用他们。我意思是，不管她要什么，他们都像她训练的狗一样听从她。
You know that just last week, she had Howard drive all the way to her uncle's house in Orange County to pick up her TV?
知道吗，上周她要霍华德一直开车载她到她的叔叔家，就为了去橘子郡取她的电视机。
You once had Leonard and me get your television from your ex-boyfriend.
你曾叫兰纳德和我去你的前男友家取电视机。
Apples and oranges here, Sheldon.
苹果和桔子不能比啊，谢尔顿。
I'm telling you, that girl is a user, skating through life on her looks,
我告诉你，那女的喜欢利用别人，靠她的脸蛋儿招摇过市。
taking advantage of innocent, weak-willed men, getting auditions for stupid network shows. It just creams my corn.
利用那些天真意志薄弱的男人，得到那些愚蠢电视剧的试演。我真的很生气。
May I interject something here? Please. You got the wrong mustard.
我能插一句吗？说吧。你买错了芥末。
Guess what? I got the part on CSI. Oh, boy. Something wrong?
猜怎么着？我得到CSI那个角色了。哦，好家伙。有什么不对劲吗？
Uh, no. No, no, no, you know, congratulations. I think you'll make a great hooker.
哦没有没有，恭喜你。相信你扮妓女一定很棒。
Thank you. Hey, I got to ask you something. How much do physicists make?
谢谢。嘿，我要问你些事，物理学家能挣多少？
Um, I don't know. I don't think a lot. Yeah, that's what I figured.
呃，我不知道。我想不太多吧。嗯，我也这么想。
Well, got to run. The guys promised to set up my satellite dish and paint my bedroom. Yay!
得走了，他们答应帮我装电视天线，粉刷卧室呢，再见！
Um, hey, hey, can I talk to you about that for a second? About what?
嘿嘿，我能跟你说一句吗？说什么？
Well, you know, it's just that Leonard and Howard and Raj, they aren't like other guys. They're special.
你知道的，兰纳德，霍华德还有拉杰他们和别的家伙不一样，他们很特别。
Okay, they're special...and? Oh, let's see. How can I explain this?
好的，他们很特别，还有呢？这么说吧，我要怎么解释好呢。
Um, they don't know how to use their shields. Shields?
他们不知道如何使用他们的盾。盾？
Yeah, you know, like in Star Trek, when you're in battle and you raise the shields?
是的，就像《星际迷航》里的，当你要战斗时你要举起你的盾。
Where the hell'd that come from?
这想法从哪儿冒出来的？
Anyways, um, you know how guys like this are, so...please don't take advantage of them.
反正呢，你知道像他们这样的人，请不要利用他们。
Who says I'm taking advantage of them?
谁说我在利用他们？
Come on. They're doing everything for you, because you're leading them on.
拜托，他们为你做任何事，因为是你在引诱他们。
So I let them do stuff for me. They're happy. I get stuff. Who cares?
我让他们帮我做事，他们乐意，我事也办成了，谁有意见呢？
And how is it any different from what you do? Excuse me?
这和你做的又有什么区别呢？你说什么？
I've seen you around them. Are you pretending like you don't do the exact same thing?
我见过你在他们旁边的样子，你想假装你没做和我同样的事吗？
Okay, lady, you are way out of line. Oh, I'm out of line? Yeah, you're out of line.
好吧，女士，你越轨了。是吗，我越轨了？是的，你越过界了。
Well, what are you going to do about it...bitch?
那你打算怎么办呢，婊子？
I like Green Lantern. I'm just saying it's pretty lame that he can be defeated by the color yellow.
我喜欢绿灯侠。我只是觉得他能被黄色物体击倒，这一点很没说服力。
Only the modern Green Lantern is vulnerable to yellow.
黄色只对现代绿灯侠有用。
Golden age Green Lantern was vulnerable to wood.
黄金时代的绿灯侠害怕木头。
Great, so I can take them both out with a number-two pencil?
好极了，那我用一支2号铅笔就击倒他们两代了。
Oh, my God! Girl fight!
哦，上帝啊，女生掐架了！
What are you doing? I know you. You're stupid enough to break it up.
你要干嘛？我了解你，你一定会傻到要去劝架。
May I say you look very comely tonight? Thank you.
请允许我说，你今晚看起来很清秀。谢谢。
You're right, this filly's been broken.
你说得对，这姑娘给打蔫了。
You set it on DTS, didn't you? I had to. She called me "cutie."
你设置成DTS了是不是？我没办法啊，她叫我酷哥。
According to Alicia's Facebook page, she's hooking up with one of the producers on CSI.
艾丽西纳的facebook博客上写，她跟CSI的一个制作人搞上了。
Well, dead whore on TV, live one in real life.
电视里的死妓女，现实中的活妓女。
Oh, great. Now she's jumping up and down on the bed.
哦，这下好了，开始在床上跳上跳下了。