Hi! Hey! Hey!
嗨。 嗨。 嗨。
So, what's the final head count on my baby shower?
有多少人会来参加宝宝的欢迎会？
About twenty. A couple people from work had something else to do.
大约有20个人，有些同事有事没空过来。
Also both of your sisters called and neither can make it.
你的妹妹们打电话来说她们没办法来。
What? You mean they're not coming to a social event where there's no men and no booze? That's shocking. I don't care, as long as my mom's here.
什么？她们竟然不来参加没有男人跟酒精的社交聚会？那真的是太稀奇了。我不在乎，只要我妈能来就行了。
Oh, my God. Your mother.
天啊，你妈。
What? My mom's not gonna be here?
怎么？我妈不会来吗？
Well, given that we forgot to invite her, it would be an awfully big coincidence if she was.
由于我们忘了邀请她，她要是能来那还真是天大的巧合呢。
My God!
我的天啊！
Well it wasn't my fault, Phoebe was in charge of the invitations!
不是我的错，负责邀请来宾的是菲比。
Well I don't, I don't have a mother so often I forget that other people... Oh, give it a rest.
我没有妈妈，所以我常忘了…… 少来了你。
So my mother is not coming to my baby shower?
所以说我妈不来参加宝宝的欢迎会吗？
No. Neither is mine.
对。我妈也不会来。
Ok, you know what? Don't worry, ok? We'll take care of it. We'll call her. You just go home and get ready.
你别着急。我们会处理的，我们会打电话给她。你先回家做准备。
Please, make sure she comes. It's really important to me. I mean that's my mom!
确定她一定会来，这对我很重要。她是我妈。
I know. I know, what's her number? I don't know.
我知道，她电话号码是多少？ 我不知道。
Go. I have it in my book. Go.
你去吧，我记在我的电话簿里了。
Wait a minute. If you're in charge of invitations, why am I the one who has to call her Hello, Mrs. Green! Hi, it's Monica Geller.
等等，如果你负责邀请来宾，那为什么是我打电话给她？喂，格林太太，我是莫妮卡·盖勒。
Oh, hello, Monica. Hi.
哈喽，莫妮卡。 嗨。
Umm I know this is last minute, but we we've decided to throw an impromptu baby shower for Rachel today.
我知道时间紧促，但是我们打算在今天临时帮瑞秋的宝宝办欢迎会。
I know, my daughter's told me about it when they received their impromptu invitations a month ago.
我的女儿们已经告诉我了，她们一个月前就接到欢迎会的"临时"请帖了。
Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm I'm so sorry.
好吧，我很抱歉。
For what, dear? For not inviting me, or for lying about it?
为什么呢，亲爱的？为了没有邀请我，还是说谎骗我呢？
Oh, my God! My ass is sweating.
天啊，我的屁股在流汗。
Please, please, can you come? It starts at 4:00.
拜托了，您能来吗？四点开始。
Well, all right. I'll see you at 4. Thank you.
好吧，四点见。 谢谢。
Isn't it at 3? Son of a bitch!
不是三点开始吗？ 该死！
Hey, Joe! Wanna shoot some hoops?
乔伊，你要去打篮球吗？
No, I can't go. I'm practicing. I got an audition to be the host of a new game show.
我不能去，我在练习。我要参加新游戏节日主持人的试镜。
Oh cool! Great!
酷啊！ 太棒了！
Yeah yeah, and if I get it, by day I'll be Dr. Drake Remoray, but by night I'll be Joey Trrrribbiani!
如果我能当上主持人，白天我是德雷克·拉莫瑞医生，但晚上我是乔伊·崔比安尼！
You'll be perfect for this! That's already your name!
你非常适合这份工作，用的都是你的真名耶！
But the audition's in a couple hours, and I don't understand the game.
但是再过几小时就要试镜了，我还没搞懂游戏规则。
Well do you want some help?
你需要帮忙吗？
Oh, really? That'd be great. Hey, you guys can be the contestants!
真的吗？那真的太棒了。你们可以当参赛者！
Awesome.
帅呆了。
Okay, I guess we can lose to junior high girls some other time.
输球给初中女生这种事可以等以后再说。
All right. Let's play Bamboozled!
好吧，我们来玩"晕头转向"！
Bamboozled? Yeah. Isn't that a cool name?
晕头转向？ 对，那个名字很酷吧？
Yeah! No! All right. Okay. Our first contestant is Ross Geller.
对！ 不！ 好吧。第一位参赛者是罗斯·盖勒。
Why don't you tell us a little bit about you Ross?
做个简单的自我介绍吧，罗斯。
Well uh, I I'm a paleontologist. Umm, I I live in New York. I have a son Ben. Uh, hi Ben! And uh...
我是古生物学。我住在纽约。我有个儿子叫做本。嗨，本。还有……
I said, a little bit, Ross. Now, how about you, Chandler?
我说了是简单介绍，罗斯。你呢，钱德勒？
JWell Joey, I'm a headhunter. I hook up out of work Soviet scientists with rogue third world nations. Hi Rasputin!
我是个猎头。我为卑鄙的第三世界国家招聘失业的苏联科学家。嗨，拉斯普廷。
Excellent! Let's play Bamboozled! Chandler, you'll go first.
太棒了！我们开始吧。钱德勒，你先来。
What is the capital of Colombia? Bogota.
哥伦比亚的首都在哪里？ 波哥大。
It's Bogota, but close enough.
是波格大，但很接近了。
Now, you can either pass your turn to Ross or pick a Wicked Wangle card.
可以把机会让给罗斯或选一张魔法机会卡。
What does a Wicked Wango Card do? I should know that.
魔法机会卡可以做什么？ 我应该知道的。
Let's see, just one moment please. Umm, here we are, a Wicked Wangle card determines whether you go higher or lower.
让我看看。请等一下，在这里。魔法机会卡能决定你要向上或是向下。
Higher or lower than what?
什么东西向上或是向下？
This is embarrassing!
这真的是太丢脸了！
Can you believe how lame this is?
你不觉得这个游戏很逊吗？
I'm sorry. I don't believe contestants are allowed to talk to each other.
抱歉，我想参赛者不该相互交谈。
Oh, I told the stripper to be here at five. That's good right?
我叫脱衣舞男五点到，没问题吧？
You ordered a stripper for the shower? That is totally inappropriate.
你请脱衣舞男来宝宝欢迎会？那太不合适了。
Why? He's gonna be dressed as a baby.
怎么了？他会打扮成宝宝的样子。
Oh, hi, Mrs. Green. I'm so glad you could make it.
嗨，格林太太，我很高兴你赶来了。
Yeah, thank you so much. And again we're so sorry. We could not feel worse about it.
谢谢你，我们再次表示抱歉。我们真的很过意不去。
Try. Oh there's my little girl.
试试看吧。我女儿在那边！
She's still mad. Yeah, I know.
她还在生气、 对，我知道。
Isn't it great? One less person we have to make small talk with.
那不是很棒吗？少了一个人跟你闲聊天。
Phoebe, Sandra's mad at you too. It doesn't bother you?
菲比，珊卓拉也在生你的气。你心里不纠结吗？
No, look, we've apologized twice! I I can't do anymore than that. I know you hate it when people are mad at you but you know you just have to...be ok with it.
我们道了两次歉，我没有别的办法了。我知道你讨厌别人生你的气，但你得去学着接受。
Okay. I can do that. I gotta go powder my ass.
好吧，我办得到。我得去给屁股擦点痱子粉。
Look at that face! Just like when you were in high school.
看看你的脸，跟你念高中时一样。
If I didn't know better, i'd say you were a cheerleader in trouble.
你要不是我女儿，我还以为你是失足啦啦队长。
Come, let's get some tea. Okay.
来吧，我们去喝点茶。 好吧。
Oh, my! Look at that. Only three weeks to go, now have you picked your nanny yet?
天啊，你看，只剩三星期了。你挑好奶妈了吗？
Now I don't want you to just use your housekeeper 'cause it would just split her focus.
我不建议让管家兼职，因为那样她会分心的。
Oh well actually I'm not gonna use a nanny and uh, I don't even have a housekeeper.
事实上，我不打算请奶妈。我也没有管家。
It's like you're a cave person. Rachel, you must get a nanny. You don't know how overwhelming this is gonna be. I mean when you were a baby I had full time help, I had Mrs. Kay.
你简直像是山顶洞人。瑞秋，你得请个奶妈。你不知道带孩子有多累。你小时候我雇用了凯太太。
Mrs. K! Oh that she was sweet. She taught me Spanish. I actually think I remember some of it, tu madre es loca.
凯太太，对，她人真的很好。她还教过我西班牙文。我大概还记得一点。你妈是个疯婆子。
Such a sweet woman.
她真是个好人。
Well, as as great she was, I I can't afford that.
她真的很棒，但我出不起那笔钱。
Oh, Rachel! I just had the greatest idea! I'm gonna come and live with you!
瑞秋，我想到一个好点子！我要搬过去跟你们住！
Wh wh what? What?
什么？什么？
Oh, I'm so happy I'm gonna do this for my little girl. Look at you. You have tears in your eyes.
我很高兴我能帮我女儿这个忙。看看你，你感动得都快哭了。
Yes, yes, I do.
没错，我是快哭了。
All right Ross you're in the lead, would you like to take another question or spin the Wheel of Mayhem?
罗斯，现在是你领先。你要再回答一题或旋转处罚轮？
The Wheel has not been my friend tonight, Joey. I'll take another question.
今天我转轮子的运气不太好，乔伊。我要再回答一题。
Okay. This is gonna be tough. Hold your breath.
好吧，这题很难，屏住呼吸。
It's okay. I'm ready.
没关系，我准备好了。
No dude, you gotta hold your breath until you're ready to answer the question. This is part of the game.
不，哥们，在你回答问题之前要一直屏住呼吸。这是游戏规则。
This is ridiculous! He's not gonna hold his...
这太可笑了，他没法屏住……
Okay. What do you have a fear of if you suffer from this phobia? Triska...Holy cow. That's a big word. Trisk...Seriously, look at this thing. Chandler, how do you say that?
好吧，如果你患有这种恐惧症那你害怕的是什么？恐……天啊，那个词真长。恐……看看这个词，钱德勒，这该怎么念？
Let me see that. This one right here.
让我看看。 就是这个词。
Triskaidekaphobia. Fear of Triscuits!
恐十三症。 害怕薄脆饼干！
No! No. Fear of the number 13. Fear of Triscuits?
不，是害怕数字十三。 害怕薄脆饼干？
It's possible. They have really sharp edges.
这有可能，饼干的边缘很锋利的。
Alright, Chandler, you're up.
钱德勒，轮到你了。
Wait a minute, I I believe I'm entitled to use my Angel Pass for a free turn?
等等，我可以用天使通行证换一次答题机会。
This game makes no sense!
这个游戏真的很没有道理！
You know what? You're just upset 'cause you're losing.
你生气是因为你要输了。
Oh, come on, Ross. I think we're all losers here.
少来了，罗斯，我觉得我们都是失败者。
Alright, Chandler. You can either spin the Wheel or pick a Google Card.
好，钱德勒。你可以选旋转轮子或挑一张搜索卡。
Let me think, let me think. Oh, I don't care.
让我想想。我不在乎。
You you must choose Mr. Bing.
你非选不可，宾先生。
Either. It makes no difference.
那还是没有差别。
Choose, you jackass.
快选吧，混蛋。
I'll take a card. Okay, you picked the Gimme Card!
我要抽卡片。 好的，你抽到了贪心卡！
You get all of Ross' points! What?
你拿到了罗斯所有的分数！ 什么？
This game is kind of fun!
这个游戏开始好玩起来了！
You don't think it's a little crazy that you get all my points just 'cause you...
你不觉得你拿到我的分数太疯狂了……
I don't think the contestants aren't supposed to speak to each other.
参赛者不该相互交谈的。
Why did you invite my mother? What?
你为什么要邀请我妈来？ 什么？
She wants to move in with me and Ross to help take care of the baby.
她要搬过来跟我和罗斯住，以便帮忙照顾宝宝。
For how long? Eight weeks.
多久？ 八星期。
I mean I love my mother, but my God, a long lunch with her is taxing.
我爱我妈，但是跟她一起吃长午餐就是种折磨。
I personally would be honored if she wanted to live with me.
如果她想跟我住，我会觉得很荣幸。
She can't hear you.
她又听不到你拍马屁。
What? You guys, come on! What am I going to do?
什么？那我该怎么样？
Well, if you don't want your mother to move in with you, just tell her.
如果不希望她搬过去，你该直说。
You're right. You're right. I mean I'm about to have a baby, I can tell my mother that I don't want her to just be sleeping on my couch!
你说得对，我就快生了。我可以说我不希望她睡在我家沙发上。
Oh my God! She's gonna want to sleep in my bed with me. This cannot happen!
她会睡在我床上，绝不能让那种事发生。
That's right. That is right. You go over there and tell her you don't want her to live with you.
没错。你去告诉她你不希望她搬过去跟你们住。
Do not take no for an answer. Okay.
一定要坚持立场。 好。
This is great! Now she's gonna be mad at Rachel!
这简直太棒了！现在她会生瑞秋的气！
You know what? And I'm just gonna swoop in there and be like the daughter she never had.
我要趁虚而入当她的乖女儿讨好她。
I have new respect for Chandler. All right, everybody! It's time to open the presents!
我对钱德勒又产生了新的敬意。好了，大伙们，该来拆礼物了
Yes! Yes! And I think that the first gift that Rachel opens should be from the grandmother of the baby, because you're the most important person in this room. And in the world!
对，瑞秋要拆的第一样礼物，应该是外婆送的礼物。因为你是这里最重要的人！也是全世界最重要的人！
Well uh, I don't have a gift because I wasn't invited until the last minute, but thank you so much for bringing that to everyone's attention.
我没有准备礼物，因为我直到最后时刻才受到邀请。但非常谢谢你，亲爱的，让大家都注意到这一点。
How about you less important people? Let's open your presents!
你们这些不太重要的人呢？我们来拆你们的礼物吧！
Mom that's ok that you didn't get you a gift!
你没准备礼物也没关系。
Well, I kinda did. Me. Eight weeks of me.
但我也算是送了你一样礼物。我要跟你同住八个星期。
Yeah. Ok, you see mom, the truth is I can do this on my own.
好吧，妈，事实上我可以自己照顾宝宝。
Sweetheart I know you're gonna be a terrific mom, I just think you need a little help, especially at the beginning.
宝贝，我知道你会是个好妈妈。但我觉得一开始你还是需要有人帮忙。
But mom, I really know what I'm doing. I can handle this.
我知道自己在做什么，我应付得来。