Hi, dad? Where's mom?
爸，我妈呢？

She's in the chat room talking to someone.
你妈正和一长舌妇在聊天八卦呢！

Really? Mom's on the internet?
啥？老妈这么潮，都学会上网了啊？

What internet? They're in the kitchen. You know your mom. Any room she's in is a chat room.
上网？捞鱼么？你妈在厨房呢，你知道你妈有个本事就是她在哪儿呆着，哪儿就自动变成聊天室了。