2013年高考英语重庆卷英语作文点评
日期:2015-06-24 09:21
(单词翻译:单击)
[2013年高考英语重庆卷写作二试卷原题]
2013年重庆市高考英语写作（二）是一篇英语书信类作文。命题要求中给出了明确的要点，写作内容有一定的限制，但也有足够的发挥空间，属于半开放性的命题模式。
从段落层次上看，本篇书面表达可分为三个部分来写：第一部分描述江豚的现状，第二部分说明写信的目的，第三部分表达感谢并且期望回信。
从语言素材上看，本篇书面表达可能涉及的主要词汇和表达有：in desperate situation（身处绝境）；the number of...（...的数量）；be at the edge of（处在...的边缘）；protect the endangered species（保护濒危物种）；die out（灭绝，动词）；extinction（灭绝，名词）；have a close observation of sth. （对...进行详尽调查）；call on sb. To do sth. （呼吁某人做某事）
[2013年高考英语重庆卷书面表达范文展示]
Dear Sir or Madam,
I'm a student from Chongqing, China. I'm very sorry to tell you a serious problem about an endangered animal in our province - finless porpoise. Because of the water pollution, human hunting and some other reasons, the number of this fish decreased to less than (高级词汇) 1000. It's dying out soon without any help (高级句式，介词短语表示条件).
I heard that your foundation works on protecting the animals in extinction (高级句式，包含宾语从句) . So I'm writing this letter to ask you for help (动词短语使用恰当) . Maybe you can donate to protecting the animals. Or at least (高级句式，副词短语使用恰当), you can come to China to inspect the endangered situation of this species. Can you? (问句使用恰当，加强语气)
I really hope my words will be taken seriously, and I'll appreciate it if you respond soon! (句式使用地道优美)
Thank you !
Yours sincerely,
Li Hua
[2013年高考英语重庆卷书面表达失分作文分析
Dear Sir or Madam,
I'm a student from Chongqing, China. I write (时态有误，应用现在进行时) this letter to you to report you the emergent situation of the Chinese Yangtze finless porpoise. Because of the human beings' influence, the number of this precious species promptly dropped (时态错误，应用现在完成时) to less than l000.
As far as I know, your foundation can help those species that are at the edge of extinction, I write (动词时态错误，应用现在进行时) this letter to you to ask for your generous donation to protect (词性错误，to是介词，后跟名词、代词或动名词) this endangered species. If you're convenient (汉语式表达，正确句子应为if it's convenient to you), would you please come to China and have a close observation of the poor porpoises and give us aid and direction to prevent them from dying out completely?
Thanks for reading my letter and I'll appreciate to hear from you soon.
Yours sincerely,
Li Hua
结语：
作为一篇书信作文，2013年重庆市高考英语写作（二）要求考生用英语完成一次目标明确的书信交流，所以，除了事实说明（江豚现状）和书信目的（表示求助）这样的客观内容之外，情感因素是书信作文中一个重要的指标，如何能以简洁通俗的话语表达出自己真切细腻的感情是在这类作文中获得高分的关键所在。要领悟这一点，学习者还可以参考本站相关文章：英语书信范文。
2013年重庆市高考英语写作（二）是一篇英语书信类作文。命题要求中给出了明确的要点，写作内容有一定的限制，但也有足够的发挥空间，属于半开放性的命题模式。
从段落层次上看，本篇书面表达可分为三个部分来写：第一部分描述江豚的现状，第二部分说明写信的目的，第三部分表达感谢并且期望回信。
从语言素材上看，本篇书面表达可能涉及的主要词汇和表达有：in desperate situation（身处绝境）；the number of...（...的数量）；be at the edge of（处在...的边缘）；protect the endangered species（保护濒危物种）；die out（灭绝，动词）；extinction（灭绝，名词）；have a close observation of sth. （对...进行详尽调查）；call on sb. To do sth. （呼吁某人做某事）
[2013年高考英语重庆卷书面表达范文展示]
Dear Sir or Madam,
I'm a student from Chongqing, China. I'm very sorry to tell you a serious problem about an endangered animal in our province - finless porpoise. Because of the water pollution, human hunting and some other reasons, the number of this fish decreased to less than (高级词汇) 1000. It's dying out soon without any help (高级句式，介词短语表示条件).
I heard that your foundation works on protecting the animals in extinction (高级句式，包含宾语从句) . So I'm writing this letter to ask you for help (动词短语使用恰当) . Maybe you can donate to protecting the animals. Or at least (高级句式，副词短语使用恰当), you can come to China to inspect the endangered situation of this species. Can you? (问句使用恰当，加强语气)
I really hope my words will be taken seriously, and I'll appreciate it if you respond soon! (句式使用地道优美)
Thank you !
Yours sincerely,
Li Hua
[2013年高考英语重庆卷书面表达失分作文分析
Dear Sir or Madam,
I'm a student from Chongqing, China. I write (时态有误，应用现在进行时) this letter to you to report you the emergent situation of the Chinese Yangtze finless porpoise. Because of the human beings' influence, the number of this precious species promptly dropped (时态错误，应用现在完成时) to less than l000.
As far as I know, your foundation can help those species that are at the edge of extinction, I write (动词时态错误，应用现在进行时) this letter to you to ask for your generous donation to protect (词性错误，to是介词，后跟名词、代词或动名词) this endangered species. If you're convenient (汉语式表达，正确句子应为if it's convenient to you), would you please come to China and have a close observation of the poor porpoises and give us aid and direction to prevent them from dying out completely?
Thanks for reading my letter and I'll appreciate to hear from you soon.
Yours sincerely,
Li Hua
结语：
作为一篇书信作文，2013年重庆市高考英语写作（二）要求考生用英语完成一次目标明确的书信交流，所以，除了事实说明（江豚现状）和书信目的（表示求助）这样的客观内容之外，情感因素是书信作文中一个重要的指标，如何能以简洁通俗的话语表达出自己真切细腻的感情是在这类作文中获得高分的关键所在。要领悟这一点，学习者还可以参考本站相关文章：英语书信范文。
重点单词
