Welcome to the "late, late show." it's lovely to see you.
欢迎来到柯登深夜秀 很开心见到你们
I hope so much that these cameras are plugged in, in my garage.
我希望在我的车库里 这些摄像机能把我拍下来
That they are switched on and plugged in i do, i thought this last night.
希望它们开机了 接通电源 我昨晚就想了
I thought i come in here every day, i do a show, i talk to you and then i leave.
我感觉我每天进来 录一个节目 和你们说话 然后离开
And i have absolutely no idea what happens after that. I don't even know if this is-- if this is on.
我不知之后会发生什么 我不知道 这有没有在播出
Like i wouldn't know, would you? Know, Reg? Have i no idea. Like i am exactly the same. I have no idea.
我不知道 你知道吗 雷吉 我也不知道 和你一样 我不知道
But you don't even have a tv to check, right? No. I can't stay up until 12:30
但是你甚至都没有电视去验证吧 是吗 没有 我不能熬到12：30
I'm asleep at like 10 to 9:00. 10:00 latest. I imagine it is on.
我九点十点就睡了 最晚十点 我想象它会播出
I mean i guess you hear report, right. It begs the profound question,
我猜你也看到报道了 它引出了一个深奥的问题
If you make a show in your garage and no one is there to see it, did a show happen at all?
如果你在车库做了一个节目 没人看到的话 那这个节目发生了吗
Guillermo? Yes. Do you know for a fact that this is on tv?
吉尔莫 发生了你确定它有在电视上播出吗
Yes, cuz i get a report from my girl's mom every night, or every morning.
确定 因为我女友的母亲每晚上都给我发消息 或者每天早上
Do you really? Yes. I wish she would text me. She is like what about James' eye. Talk about his eye.
真的吗 是的 我希望她能给我发消息 她会问 詹姆斯的眼睛怎么了 说说他的眼睛
He didn't go into more-- you know. She wants more details about my eye.
他没有 你知道 她想知道更多细节是吗
he didn't tell me why or what happened. Okay, i love that she cares.
他没有说发生什么事情了 好吧 她关心我 我很开心
I love that she cares and all this has done is remind me that you don't.
我很开心 她关心我 这些事让我知道 你没有关心人家
Well, it's gorgeous to see you. St. And i'm so happy you are here.
见到你很开心 很开心你能来
But you are not the only people we're going to see tonight, gang.
除了乐队伙伴们 今晚我们还会有一些嘉宾做客

We're also going see the delightful and hilarious Beanie Feldstein is gonna be checking in later.
我们稍后还会看到可爱又搞笑的比妮·费尔德斯坦
And an incredible musical performance from machine gun Kelly and Travis Barker.
还有来自机关枪凯利和特拉维斯·巴克的令人难以置信的音乐表演
But before all of that we invite you to relax and cuddle up about some cheer.
在这之前 我们会带给大家一些放松和鼓舞
This is three things to cheer you up. Three things, three things to cheer you up.
这里是三件让你振奋的事 三件事让你振奋起来
First up, we are all grateful to have a roof over our heads during these difficult times.
首先 我们都很感恩 在这个艰难的时候 我们能有家庭这个港湾
It doesn't mean we don't occasionally go a little stir crazy.
这并不意味着 我们偶尔会有一点小疯狂
Something this child expresses perfectly. Where are you going. I hate this house. I hate this house.
这个孩子完美的诠释了这一点 你要去哪里 我恨这个房子 我好很这个房子啊
That was my wife on day two of quarantine.
这就是我老婆在隔离期第二天的心情
Moving on, perhaps no activity has taken off during quarantine quite like making Tiktok videos.
接着看 在隔离期间 也许没有什么活动能像制作抖音视频一样成功
And this next example features someone who definitely knows the importance of a good post.
下面一个例子 这个人很清楚一个好作品的要点
That's how all Tiktoks should end.
所有的抖音视频都应该这样结尾
Every single Tiktok should end with that lady and a mail truck just driving into the shot.
所有的抖音视频都应该以这个女士 开着邮车驶入镜头结尾