(单词翻译:单击)
I've got some jokes, here, you guys. It's finally here.
来听听笑话,最终的结果来了 。
Robert Mueller is about to testify in front of Congress or, as President Trump is calling it, narc week.
米勒即将在国会上作证,或者就如特朗普所说的,缉毒周 。
Basically, Democrats are hoping Mueller goes out there and explains his written report on camera.
基本上来说,民主党希望米勒出来讲话,在摄像机面前解释他的书面报告 。
That's their way of saying to Americans, We know you didn't read the book, so maybe you'll watch the movie.
这是他们讲述给美国人的方式,我们知道你不会阅读书籍,或许你会直接看电影 。
I saw that Trump was asked if he's gonna watch Mueller's hearing tomorrow. And check out what he said.
听说小特被问及他是否明天会看米勒的听证会,来看看他是怎么说的 。
No. I'm not gonna be watching. Probably. Maybe I'll see a little bit of it. I'm not gonna be watching Mueller.
不,我不会看,或许我会看一点,我不会看米勒的 。
He sounds like your friend who says that they don't want any fries.
他听起来好似你的朋友在说,他们不想要炸薯条 。
They're like, No, I'm fine. Well, maybe a few. I'll have a side plate. Can I get a side plate?
他们好似在说,我不需要,或许一点点,我要一个小吃盘,能给我来一个小吃盘吗?
Thank you very much. Put your fries on my side plate. You know what? You take the side plate. I'll take your fries.
非常感谢,把你的炸薯条放在我的小吃盘中,你知道吗?你拿小吃盘,我会拿走你的薯条 。
Some big news from the UK. Today, Boris Johnson was just named their next prime minister.
来看看英国的大新闻,今天鲍里斯·约翰逊当选下一届首相 。
If you don't know Boris Johnson, here he is. You know, he looks like someone. I can't quite...
如果你不知道他,来看看他的样子,他好似一个人,我不能准确描述出来 。
put my finger on it. He's kind of like... A Cabbage Patch doll that accidentally got left in the dryer.
我用手指比划了,他好似一个,一个无意间落在烘干机的卷心菜娃娃 。
No, no, no. It's more like, uh... A Barney Rubble that got into business school. No, no, no, no. Kind of. But it's more like...
不是不是,更像是,原始人巴尼·拉布尔进入商业学校,不是不是,很像是,更像是 。
A middle-aged surfer bro who finally got his fist job interview. Yeah. Yeah. Sort of. But he's also kind of like...
一位中年网迷终于迎来了第一个工作面试 。没错,很像,但他更像是 。
A B-list Donald Trump impersonator. Yeah, that's interesting. Actually, can we see him next to Trump? Oh, yeah. I got it.
小特的二线模仿者,没错,很有趣 。我们能看看他和小特一起的照片吗?没错,我明白了 。
He looks like trump after he did the Ice Bucket Challenge. That's it. That's it.
他做完冰桶挑战后很像小特,没错,没错 。
Now I know what he looks like. Oh, check this out.
我知道他像什么了,来看看 。
Over the weekend, a man in California who was dressed as a clown led police on a 35-mile, high-speed chase.
上周末,加州一男子穿成小丑让警察高速追了他35英里 。
When asked what he was running from, the man said, Myself.
当被问及跑什么时,他说我自己 。
And finally, this is cool. I saw that Cheez-It, Cheez-Its. I love Cheez-Its.
最后一条新闻,这个有趣,我听说Cheez-It饼干,我喜欢Cheez-It饼干 。
They're teaming up with, This is real. They're teaming up with a vineyard to make a box that is half Cheez-Its and half wine.
他们展开合作,这是真的,他们和一家葡萄园合作,制作了一个一半饼干一半红酒的盒子 。
It's real. People in the store are like, Gross. I'll take a dozen boxes.
这是真的,商店里的人们在说,太恶心了,我要买十二盒 。
It's awesome. It's like Lunchables for adults. Yeah!
太棒了,很像是为成人设计的Lunchables饼干,没错 。