All right. I'm kidding.

好 开玩笑的

I know what you did because I went through your Instagram photos, and a lot of you post some weird stuff, which is fine.

我知道你们做了什么 因为我看了你们的Instagram照片 很多人都晒了很奇怪的东西 这没关系

It's your private account. But most of yours aren't private.

那是你们的私人账户 不过多数人的并不私密

I don't understand why people post embarrassing photos to Instagram.

我不明白为什么人们会往Instagram上晒很尴尬的东西

What if somebody important sees-- like your boss, or even me?

如果很重要的人 比如老板或者我看到了怎么办

Like, then I can show them. But you're probably thinking, Ellen, I've never posted anything embarrassing on Instagram.

比如 我可以给他们看 不过你们可能在想 艾伦 我从来没在Instagram上晒过任何尴尬的东西

And I'm not talking about you; I'm talking about Deanna Armstrong.

我说的不是你 我说的是Deanna Armstrong

That's who I'm talking about. Deanna Armstrong is-- Deanna? Oh, my God.

就是她Deanna Armstrong Deanna 哦天

Hi. Hi, Ellen. How are you doing? Good. How are you?

嗨 嗨 艾伦 你好吗 很好 你呢

Let's just see what you posted, OK? OK. All right. Let's see.

我们来看看你发了什么 好吧 好 好 看一下

Oh my God. OK. Throwback to the night I don't remember. LOL.

天啊 好 回到我忘记的那天晚上 LOL

I'll bet you remember showing this now. Oh my God.

我想现在你肯定记得了吧 天啊

So you're thinking, I'm getting handcuffed.

你在想 我被拷了

Somebody please take a picture of this, because I'm going to want to post this.

别人能不能帮忙照个照片 我想把它发网上

Um, yeah. That-- that-- how long ago was that? You're asking me when it was?

额 对 那 那 那是多久以前的 你问我是多久以前的

I don't know. What did you do to get handcuffed? That's my brother-in-law.

不知道 你犯了什么事被拷了 那是我姐夫

And this was, like, just a, like, a role-playing thing, or what's happening?

这是角色扮演之类的吗 还是发生了什么

We were at the Colorado River.

我们当时在科罗拉多河

So he works at a hotel right there on the river,

他在河边的一家酒店上班

and I thought it would be funny, since he was in his gear, to handcuff me and take a picture of it. Ah.

既然他带的有手铐 我觉得拷上我照个照片会很有意思 啊

Oh my God. Deanna, there's somebody I think that you might want to meet and get along with: Pedro Peralta.

天哪 Deanna 我觉得你应该认识下这个人 你们处得来：Pedro Peralta

Where's Pedro Peralta? Hi. How are you? A little scared now.

Pedro Peralta在哪里 嗨 你好吗 现在有点儿瘆

A little scared? Yeah, I just a tad. Well, don't be scared.

有点儿瘆吗 对 我还是个孩子 别害怕

But I just want to talk to you about this photo.

我就是想跟你聊聊这张照片

There's a photo, and a comment, "then," and "now," and "some things never change."

有张照片 配的文字是“彼时”和“此时” “有些东西从未改变”

You seem to enjoy sleeping on a bathroom floor.

看来你很喜欢睡卫生间的地板上啊

That's actually not me. It's one of my best friends. Oh. You posted.

其实那不是我 是我一个好哥们儿 哦 你发的

This is not you; this is one of your best friends. Yeah. I see.

这不是你 是你好朋友 对 明白

So he's going to love this. What--

他肯定会喜欢这个的

He sure is. What's his name? Julio Vasquez. Julio. All right.

肯定 他叫什么 Julio Vasquez Julio 好

So Julio was then and now. That's-- Yeah.

Julio的当时和现在 真是 嗯

I think this was like two years in a row, or a year in between them.

这应该是连续两年发生的事 或者中间隔了一年

Yeah. Somewhere about that. Yeah.

嗯 差不多 嗯

That's a shame, really. I mean, it's-- he's your friend? Unfortunately.

真丢人 他是你朋友 交友不慎啊

Yeah. Maybe not anymore now that we've done this.

没错 说不定今天过后友谊的小船就翻了

Or maybe this is a good wake up call for him. I don't know.

也或许这对他是当头棒喝 谁知道

All right, Jackie Fuentes. Where's Jackie Fuentes?

好 Jackie Fuentes Jackie Fuentes在哪里

Hi. Hi. How are you? Good. How are you?

嗨 嗨 你好吗 还行 你呢

I'm great. Thank you for asking. You posted this.

我很好 感谢关心 你发了这个

It's a kid jumping into a pool in slow motion. So let's take a look at this.

是一个小孩跳进游泳池的慢动作 我们来看一下

All right. So there's that.

好 是这样

But I think the reason you did it in slow motion is because we can probably look,

不过我觉得你之所以用慢动作是因为

and what's happening behind him before he jumps in the pool?

我们能看到小孩跳水时他背后发生的事吧

Let's look at that again.

我们再看一遍

Was that at the Playboy Mansion, or where were you?

你是在花花公子大厦吗 你当时在哪里

I was at my apartment pool. Your apartment pool.

在公寓那儿的游泳池 你公寓那儿的游泳池

Did you see that that was happening in the background? No. No.

你之前看到背后发生的事了吗 没有 没有

Not until afterwards. I never saw that. Oh, this is the first time you're seeing it?

录完后才看到的 我以前从来没注意过 哦 这是你第一次看到吗

Really? We're pointing it out to you?

真的吗 是我们告诉你的

This is-- you thought that was interesting enough to show a kid jumping in a pool,

真是 你觉得给大家看小孩跳水很有趣

and didn't know you were showing pornographic activity behind.

却不知道你还给大家看了背后的黄色行为

I had no idea. Wow. Well that was what was going on. Maybe you'll look for those neighbors now.

我完全不知道 哇 当时是那样的 或许你可以去找找是哪个邻居

I will. I will. Whoever they are. All right. And finally, Jaime Bigiorni-- Bigiornia.

会的 我会的 不管是谁 好 最后 Jaime Bigiorni Bigiornia

Where is Jaime? It's "hi-may" Bigiornia. "Hi-may." Jaime, yeah. "Bin-yor-ee-uh"?

Jaime在哪里 是hi-may Bigiornia Hi-may Jaime 嗯 Bin-yor-ee-uh

"Big-orn-yuh." "Big-orn-yuh." I got that part right. OK. And you posted this photo.

Bin-yor-ee-uh Bin-yor-ee-uh 我读对了 好 你晒了这张照片

All right. Um-- Yes? To be honest, I thought I deleted that picture. But--

好 额 说实话 我以为我把它删了 可是

You didn't take the picture, but it's you.

照片不是你拍的 不过人是你

Yeah, my brother, I think, took that picture.

嗯 我弟弟 应该是 照的照片

Right, and it says, my hashtag man crush Monday, every day.

没错 上面说的是我的#男人迷恋周一 每一天

So let me get this straight. You are your own man crush every day?

我来理一下 你是自己每天都迷恋的人吗

I am my own man crush, everyday. Your own man crush every single day. I checked.

我是自己每天都迷恋的人 你每天都迷恋的人 我查过了

It says that you posted this photo October 14th, 2014. A long time ago, yeah.

这张照片是2014年10月14日发布的 很久以前了 嗯

But let me just tell you that that-- I looked it up --that's a Tuesday. So the hashtag--

不过我跟你说 我查了一下 那天是周二 所以这个标签

Well-- I'm pretty sure I did say, every day, so it didn't have to be on a Monday.

我应该说的是每一天 所以不一定得是周一

You've got a point. You've got a point. My hat's off to you. But no, it's not.

有道理 有道理 佩服佩服 不 不是的

All right. If I showed your photo today, you're getting a 65-inch TCL Roku TV.

好 如果我今天展示了你的照片 你将获得65英寸的TCL罗库电视