Every time I was called on in class, I was sure that I was about to embarrass myself.
每次在课上被点名时，我都觉得自己肯定会当众出丑；
Every time I took a test, I was sure that it had gone badly.
每次考试时，我都觉得自己肯定会考砸。
And every time I didn't embarrass myself—or even excelled—I believed that I had fooled everyone yet again.
然而，当我没有出丑甚至是表现很出色时，我又觉得自己再次欺骗了大家。
One day soon, the jig would be up.
而且，总有一天，好戏会收场的。
At the joint reception that followed the ceremony—an after-party for nerds,
在入会仪式之后的联合招待会（也就是为书呆子们准备的后续派对）上，
so I fit right in—I told one of my male classmates about Dr. McIntosh's fantastic speech explaining how we all feel like frauds.
我跟一位男同学提起了麦金托什博士关于“招摇撞骗的感觉”的精彩演讲。
He looked at me, confused, and asked, "Why would that be interesting?"
他看着我，表情困惑，问道：“你为什么会觉得这种话题很有趣呢？”
Carrie and I later joked that the speech to the men was probably something like "How to Cope in a World Where Not Everyone Is as Smart as You."
后来，卡丽和我开玩笑：对男人来说，那次演讲大概就像在讲“怎样应付一个所有人都不如你聪明的世界”。
This phenomenon of capable people being plagued by self-doubt has a name—the impostor syndrome.
有能力的人因自我怀疑而苦恼，这种现象有它的学名——“冒充者综合征”。
Both men and women are susceptible to the impostor syndrome, but women tend to experience it more intensely and be more limited by it.
无论男女都容易出现这样的症状，但女性会更严重，也会更多地受其限制。
Even the wildly successful writer and actress Tina Fey has admitted to these feelings.
即使是很出色、非常成功的喜剧演员蒂娜·菲也承认自己有这样的感觉。
She once explained to a British newspaper, "The beauty of the impostor syndrome is you vacillate between extreme egomania, and a complete feeling of: 'I'm a fraud! Oh god, they're on to me! I'm a fraud!'
她曾对一家英国报纸说：“冒充者综合征妙就妙在，它让你总是在两种感觉中摇摆不定：要么自我迷恋，要么就会想‘我是个骗子。天哪，他们都中招了！我是个骗子！’
So you just try to ride the egomania when it comes and enjoy it, and then slide through the idea of fraud.
于是，在自我迷恋出现时，你只是试着驾驭它、享受它，然后就渐渐开始觉得自己是在欺骗别人。
Seriously, I've just realized that almost everyone is a fraud, so I try not to feel too bad about it."
说真的，我已经意识到，几乎每个人都是‘骗子’，所以我尝试着不让自己感觉太过糟糕。”