(单词翻译:单击)
Last night, the Miss America pageant crowned its 94th winner.
昨天晚上，美国小姐选出了第94届冠军
Did you see that? There was lots of excitement, plenty of surprises.
你们看了吗？这节目真是激动人心，惊喜连连呢
The biggest surprise for me was finding out that you guys still do this.
对我而言，最大的惊喜就是，你们居然还在做这个节目
And I know I know what you're thinking, you don't have a Miss United Kingdom.
我知道，我知道你们在想什么，你们没有英国小姐。
Well we do, it's the queen, and she wins every year.
但其实我们是有的，就是英国女王，每年都是她赢
Happy anniversary, ma'am. Always at your service.
纪念日快乐，女士。随时为您效劳
Now, look. I understand that Miss America is an old American tradition,
我知道，美国小姐是美国的一个传统节目，
but so was dying of polio, and you've managed to stop that.
但因脊髓灰质炎而死也是啊，你们还不是阻止了？
And I mean, technically the winner last night was anyone who didn't watch.
严格来讲，昨天晚上的冠军其实是那些根本没看这个节目的人
But the official winner was Miss Georgia. And it didn't faze her at all.
但官方公布的冠军是乔治娅女士，但公布结果的时候她完全不因受惊而显得狼狈
She really kept her cool. Let's take a look.
她很好地保持住了她的风度。一起来看一看
Your new Miss America is—Miss Georgia! Miss Georgia!
新的美国小姐是——乔治娅女士！乔治娅女士！
Does she have a nervous breakdown every time her name is called?
是不是每次别人叫她名字的时候她她都会因为紧张而失措？
Is she at Starbucks and they go, I have a grande cappuccino for Ms. Georgia?
假如她去星巴克，有人说，乔治娅小姐，您的大杯卡布奇诺好了
She's like, oh, my god! It's my cappuccino grande!
她就会说：天呐！是我的大杯卡布奇诺！
Honestly, I've never been that excited in my life, right?
说实话，我人生中从来没有这么激动过吧？
And you're talking to somebody whose wife let him go see The Notebook while she went to see Kill Bill 2.
每次我妻子自己看《杀死比尔2》的时候就让我去看《恋恋笔记本》
It wasn't a joke. It wasn't... it's a good movie. It is a good movie. You know.
我没在开玩笑。真的没有。《恋恋笔记本》是部好电影。真的。你懂的
Don't be the guy that pretends you don't love The Notebook. It's incredible.
不要装得好像你不喜欢看《恋恋笔记本》一样。它很不错的
You pack it in Guillermo or I'll tell everybody what we were talking about at rehearsal.
承认吧，吉列尔莫，否则我就把你彩排时跟我说的话说出去
You want that? You want me to tell them? No. OK.
你希望我说吗？别。好的
Now, the best part of the whole pageant wasn't even shown on television.
《美国小姐》最精彩的部分并没有在电视上播出
Because this year, every contestant recorded a twitter video where she shared a fun fact about herself.
今年，每个候选人都要在推特上发一段关于自己的一件趣事的视频
Now, I'm not sure they know the meaning of the word fun. Take a look.
现在，我很怀疑她们到底知不知道“有趣”这个词是什么意思。一起来看看
And here's a fun fact about me. I drive a pickup truck.
以下是有关于我的一件有趣的事。我会开敞篷小货车
I'm over six foot tall in heels. My nickname is Egg McMuffin.
我穿上高跟鞋有一米八以上。我的外号叫蛋松饼
I love Hawaii pizza with extra pineapple.
我喜欢吃加了菠萝的夏威夷披萨
My skull was removed, reshaped, and reattached.
她的头骨曾经被取下来过，重新塑了形，又接上去了
I was bald until I was 2 years old. I currently work as an autopsy technician.
我两岁之前是个光头。我是个解剖技术员
I always wish I can time travel.
我希望能够穿越时空
One fun fact about me is that I can speak with my mouth closed.
我的趣事是我不张嘴也能讲话
I mean, I've got a fun fact, you can't speak with your mouth closed.
我发现了一件趣事，你不张嘴并不能讲话。
Or should I say—but I mean, these are bizarre.
或者我应该这么说——我是想说，这些趣事都奇奇怪怪的
Miss Indiana's fun fact is that her skull had to be removed, reshaped, and reattached,
印第安纳小姐的趣事是，她的头骨曾经被取下来过，重新塑了形，又接上去了
Like which is less fun and more likely to haunt your nightmares for the rest of your life.
相比有趣，这事儿更可能成为你余生里一个纠缠不休的噩梦
But I, I guess I can tell you... I can tell you a fun fact about me. If you'd like the fun fact about me?
但是我可以，我可以讲一件我的趣事。你们想知道我的趣事吗？
Here's a fun fact about me, after watching Miss America last night,
我的趣事就是，昨天晚上看了《美国小姐》后，
I'm going to move my daughter back to the U.K.
我决定让我的女儿移民回英国
