英文原版

“I gather,” said the girl, turning to address the Captain who was beginning to nod off, “that he wants to make one about you next, Captain.”
“Oh really?” he said, coming to with a start, “that’s awfully nice.”
“He’s got a very strong angle on it, you know, the burden of responsibility, the loneliness of command…”
The Captain hummed and hahed about this for a moment.
“Well, I wouldn’t overstress that angle, you know,” he said finally, “one’s never alone with a rubber duck.”
He held the duck aloft and it got an appreciative round from the crowd.
All the while, the Management Consultant had been sitting in stony silence, his finger tips pressed to his temples to indicate that he was waiting and would wait all day if it was necessary.
At this point he decided he would not wait all day after all, he would merely pretend that the last half hour hadn’t happened.
He rose to his feet.
“If,” he said tersely, “we could for a moment move on to the subject of fiscal policy…”
“Fiscal policy!” whooped Ford Prefect, “Fiscal policy!”
The Management Consultant gave him a look that only a lungfish could have copied.
“Fiscal policy…” he repeated, “that is what I said.”
“How can you have money,” demanded Ford, “if none of you actually produces anything? It doesn’t grow on trees you know.”
“If you would allow me to continue…”
Ford nodded dejectedly.
“Thank you. Since we decided a few weeks ago to adopt the leaf as legal tender, we have, of course, all become immensely rich.”
Ford stared in disbelief at the crowd who were murmuring appreciatively at this and greedily fingering the wads of leaves with which their track suits were stuffed.
“But we have also,” continued the Management Consultant, “run into a small inflation problem on account of the high level of leaf availability, which means that, I gather, the current going rate has something like three deciduous forests buying one ship’s peanut.”
Murmurs of alarm came from the crowd. The Management Consultant waved them down.
“So in order to obviate this problem,” he continued, “and effectively revaluate the leaf, we are about to embark on a massive defoliation campaign, and… er, burn down all the forests. I think you’ll all agree that’s a sensible move under the circumstances.”
The crowd seemed a little uncertain about this for a second or two until someone pointed out how much this would increase the value of the leaves in their pockets whereupon they let out whoops of delight and gave the Management Consultant a standing ovation. The accountants amongst them looked forward to a profitable Autumn.
“You’re all mad,” explained Ford Prefect.
“You’re absolutely barmy,” he suggested.
“我猜想，”这个女孩说，她跑到舰长跟前，他已经开始打吨儿了，“接下来他想拍一部关于你的电影，舰长。”
“噢，是吗？”他说，恢复了清醒，”那真是太好了。”
“他已经找到了一个非常有力的角度，你知道，责任的重负，领袖的孤独”
舰长哼哼哈哈了一番。
“嗯，我不会过分强调这个角度，你知道，”他最后说，“一个人有橡皮鸭子作伴是不会孤独的，”
他把鸭子高高举了起来，于是它也被感激的人群传递了一圈。
这段时间内，那个管理咨询顾问一直安静地坐在石头上，指尖压着太阳穴，显得正在等待着什么，并且如果有必要的话，他会等上一整天。
而就在此刻，他决定自己毕竟不会等上一整天，他只需要假装刚才遮半小时不曾存在过就行了。
他站起身来。
“如果，”他简洁地说，“我们可以暂时把讨论的主题转移到财政政策上的话…”
“财政政策！”福特长官叫道，“财政政繁！”
管理咨询顺问看了他一眼，只有肺鱼才会有那种服神。
“财政政策”他重复了一句，“我是说。”
“如果你们中没有人实际生产出任何东西的话，”福特问，“你怎么会有钱呢？要知道，钱不会从树上长出来。”
“如果你允许我继续说下去的话”
福特沮丧地点点头。
“谢谢。由于我们在几周之前已经决定以树叶作为法定的支付品，所以，我们大家当然也就变得非常富裕了：”
福特难以置信地盯着人群，他们正高兴地嘀咕着这件事情，还贪婪地指着他们条纹衫上缀着的一沓一沓的树叶。
“不过，我们同时，”管理咨询顾问继续说道，“也碰到了一个小小的通货膨胀问题，因为树叶太容易得到了。这也就意味着，根据我的推测，目前大约是3片落叶林才能购买一颗飞船。”
人群中传出惊恐的咕哝声。管理咨询顾问挥手示意他们安静。
“所以，为了解决这个问题，”他继续说道，“并且有效地重新估算树叶的价值，我们即将展开一场规模巨大的落叶战役，并且……嗯，烧掉所有的森林，我想你们大家都会同意，在目前的情况下，这是一种明智的行为，”
一时间，人们对这个问题似乎有些不确定，直到有人指出这将使他们兜里的树叶增值多少多少：人群于是爆发出一片欢呼，起立为管理咨询顾问大声喝彩！他们中的会计师们已经预见到了一个收益颇丰的秋天……
“你们全都疯了。”福特长官嚷道，
“你们绝对是神经错乱了！”他指出。

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