Max, I don't know if I can do this.
麦克斯，我不知道我是否能应付。
What if Sandra's telling the truth?
万一珊卓拉说的是事实呢？
She did know about my pink canopy bed. How would she know that?
她的确知道我有张粉红色的公主床。她怎么会知道的？
Because everyone knows barbie comes with a dream car, a pony, and a pink canopy bed included.
因为全世界都知道芭比有一辆粉红小车，一匹粉红小马，还有一张粉红公主床。
There he is. There's Piers Morgan, live.
他来了。皮尔斯·摩根真人。
Do you think it's too soon to ask him to give me a discount at Piers 1?
你觉得现在就管他要家具店折扣是不是有点太唐突了？
He looks dignified, like he's not gonna ask about a penis.
他看着挺高尚的，估计不会问鸡鸡的事情。
But what if he does? Max, I can't do this.
但如果他问起来怎么办？麦克斯，我好害怕。

Give me your phone. You need to remind yourself of the person your father used to be.
把手机给我。你得时刻提醒自己你父亲以前的样子。
Look, here he is working with UNICEF. And here he is water-skiing on "Lake rich person."
瞧，这是他跟联合国儿童基金会共事。这是他在"富人湖"里滑水。
Look at that smile. Is that the smile of... hold up.
瞧那个笑容。是不是...等下。
What's coming out of the left leg of his swim shorts?
他泳裤左裤腿冒出来的是什么东西？
I think your father's junk is trying to tell me there's gonna be six more weeks of winter.
我觉得你爸的鸡鸡在试图告诉我离冬天还有六个星期。
What are you saying?
你在说什么啊？
I'm saying, someone had a tip slip, and that is not a small tip.
我是说，有人的"鸟"不小心探头出来了，而且那只"鸟头"还不小哦。
And as a waitress and a loose woman, I know a small tip when I see one. Here.
作为一名服务员和一名荡妇，只要我看见头，我就知道那只鸟大不大。看这里。
Sorry, sorry. She just showed me a picture of Anne Hathaway's new haircut.
抱歉，抱歉。她刚给我看了安妮·海瑟薇的新发型。
Well, this is good, because it can proves that woman is lying.
这不错，因为能证明那女人在撒谎。
Yep, you just have to show this to Piers.
对啊，你可以把这拿给皮尔斯看。
I told you, I'm not going near my father's penis.
我说过，我绝不会提及我爸的鸡鸡。
All I have to do is point out that that woman has no finance skills.
我只需指出那女人根本不懂理财和金融。
Unlike her, we are taking the high road.
不像她，我们要采取高尚的手段。
Max, are you sending that to yourself?
麦克斯，你是把照片发你手机上吗？