What is that and why is it wearing a bow tie?
干嘛穿成这样，还系个领结？
Maybe because actual tie would drag on the ground.
他如果系个普通领带会垂到地上吧。
Speaking of "Dragging on the ground," maybe you could drag an antelope back to your cave and have sex with it.
要说"垂到地上"，你何不去拖一只羚羊回你的淫窝，然后跟它爽一下呢。
See, I have a sense of humor too.
你看，我也是个幽默的人。
That's one of the attributes on my online dating profile.
我交友网站上的个人档案就有写这一特质。
Han, are you all dressed up because you're expecting a date?
阿憨，你打扮这么帅是因为要见女孩吗？
Oh, I'm expecting a lot more than a date.
我希望不只是单纯见一下那么简单。
Our profiles matched us perfectly. This might be the one.
我们的个人档案十分般配。可能就是她了。
Which one? The first one? The only one?
哪个她？你的第一个她？还是唯一那个她？
The one that accidentally steps on you?
还是不小心踩扁你的那个她？

She was supposed to be here a half hour ago.
她半小时前就该到了。
Well, you know, subways run late, especially if you don't get on them
你懂的，地铁总是晚到，尤其是人家根本没上去，
because you don't really exist in our money-scamming man in Nairobi.
因为那人根本不存在，只是个网上骗钱的而已。
Hi, I'm looking for Han Lee, the owner.
您好，我想找老板，李憨先生。
There she is. Pretty, blonde, and clearly not a man. Who's laughing now?
她来了。漂亮，金发，而且明显不是男人。现在谁爽啊？
You shouldn't jump to conclusions. I once had a date with a blonde woman.
别太急着下定论。我也曾经跟一个金发美女约过会。
Turns out, the curtains matched the penis on that one.
结果我跟他的共同点就是都有鸡鸡。
Hello. Are you Ashley? I'm Han Lee.
你好。你是艾希莉吗？我是李憨。
Hi. Nice to meet you. I left something in my car I'll be right back.
你好。幸会幸会。我有东西忘车上了，马上回来。
Is she coming back?
她会回来吗？
Han, Jesus is coming back before she is.
阿憨，耶稣回来人间救赎都比她快