Hi, everybody. Sophie's here!
各位乡亲。苏菲驾到啦！
And look at my new coat. It's double-breasted.
瞧我的新狐皮大衣。是双巨乳呢。
Pretty nice, huh? It was a gift from me.
很不错吧？是我送的礼物呢。
It's the only thing he ever gave me that didn't threaten my reproductive health.
这是他送我的东西里唯一不会损坏到我生育能力的东西。
Think that fox took its own life when it saw what kind of coat it was gonna be on.
我觉得那只狐狸在知道自己会被做成什么大衣后甘愿自尽的。
What is the occasion?
他为什么会送你这个？
What is the occasion? I'm hot and it's cold.
什么为什么？姐姐火辣，天气寒冷。
And it's also the anniversary of the first time Oleg and I 70ed.
而且还是我跟奥列格首次玩70式的纪念日。
The way I do it, it's one more than 69.
哥哥"功夫"好，"69"升华变70。
Max, I just hung up from a very panicked phone call, and you'll never believe what happened.
麦克斯，我刚挂了一通超让人恐慌的电话，你绝对不敢相信电话中说的事。
The guy from the record store called to say I have super gonorrhea?
唱片行那男的打给你，告诉你我有超级淋病吗？
You actually think a guy that you don't even remember called to tell me that you have super gonorrhea?
你真觉得一个被你"睡"过就忘了的男人会打来告诉我你有超级淋病吗？
Yes, that's how tired I am.
对啊，我累到真这么觉得。
Are you gonna make me wait forever? Do I have it or not?
你是还要让我等多久啊？我到底有没得病？
It's not super gonorrhea, but it is super-bad news.
才不是超级淋病，只是个超级坏消息而已。
This woman just called to confirm her order for 1,000 cupcakes for tomorrow.
这女人刚打来跟我确认她订的明天要的一千个小蛋糕。
I've been so tired, I completely forgot.
我最近太累，完全忘了这事。
I'd rather have super gonorrhea!
我还宁愿得了超级淋病呢！
Are you insane? We can't do 1,000 cupcakes by tomorrow.
你疯啦？我们哪可能明天前做好啊。

We have to do it. It'll ruin our reputation if we don't.
不行也得行。不然我们的商誉就付之一炬了。
I know we're tired, but if we stay up all night, we'll have $4,000 by tomorrow at 10:00 A.M.
我知道我们都累翻了，但只要再撑一晚，明早10点我们就能有四千块入袋呢。
They have to be done by 10:00 A.M.?
还得是明早10点就做好啊？
I'm so tired, remind me- is A.M. the morning one?
我累得脑子不转了，AM是指上午吗？
We can't do it. It's impossible.
我们做不了。不可能做到。
My brain's too foggy to crunch the numbers,
我现在脑子一团浆糊，不会算数了
but I'm sure it's doable if we leave right now.
但如果现在开溜，明早一定能完工。
We're in the middle of waiting tables.
我们服务员的工作还没结束呢。
Well, we'll just have to come up with an excuse.
那我们只好找理由翘班啦。
Give me your hand, bend over, and pretend to be sick.
把手给我，弯下腰，装病。
It'll work. I've used this to get out of eight jobs, six final exams, and one wedding.
肯定能行，我用来翘过八个工作的班，六次期末考以及一次婚礼。
Han, we have an emergency. Caroline's sick. She's so sick, she can't even stand up.
阿憨，有紧急病号，卡洛琳病了。病得很严重，站都站不稳了。
We won't be able to stay and finish our shift.
我们没办法留下来工作到打烊了。
We have to go right to the emergency room.
我们得立刻去急诊室。
We don't know what's wrong with her, but it's coming out of both ends.
还不知道她是什么病，但她上吐下泻的。
It might be super gonorrhea. Bye.
说不定会是超级淋病呢。再见。
That's so unfortunate. And on the night they were finally gonna do it.
真是太不幸了。她们本来今晚终于要"合体"了呢。