What's happening? Are we finally gonna trash Caroline?
怎么了？你终于要来说卡洛琳的坏话了吗？
No, I need your help. I watched four chick flicks back-to-back,
不，我需要你的帮忙。我连续不断地看了四部爱情烂片，
then I made a list of possible ways to tell Caroline I love her.
想出了几个告诉卡洛琳我爱她的可行办法。
I was gonna make more, but I got my period.
我本来还想多列几个，但我看得月经都来了。
Okay, run the choices past me.
好的，把你的选项都跟我说一遍。
Whichever one makes me want to hurl the most, that's your winner.
哪一个让我听了最想吐，就是最佳的选择了。
I could play a song for her outside of her apartment,
我可以在她公寓外放歌，
but keep in mind how hard it is to find a boom box in 2012.
不过都2012年了，大手提收音机很难找。
Yeah, plus, if you do that outside our apartment, you'll be shot. By me.
对啊，而且如果你在我们公寓外面搞这个，你会被我...乱抢射死。
Okay, what about sharing cocoa and a hot dog on the ice rink in central park?
好吧，那在中央公园的溜冰场俩人共喝热可可，共享热狗时呢？
Yup, that's it. Makes me want to take my head off and throw it into the street.
行，就这个。让我想把自己的脑袋扯下来然后扔到大街上去。

Cool. Oh, and, Max,
很好。对了，麦克斯，
I think I'm the only straight guy on earth who knows the difference between Dylan Mcdermott and Dermott Mulroney,
我觉得我是地球上唯一能区别迪伦·麦克德莫特与德蒙特·莫罗尼的直男了
and that, my friend, is love.
而朋友，这就是爱啊。
Oh, what's that funky-ass smell? Do they finally sell pepperoni febreze?
这是什么狗屁味道？出意大利香肠味的除臭剂了吗？
Max, this already isn't working.
麦克斯，这样完全不行。
The stinky salami, the gaudy chandelier? It's like a haunted Quiznos in here.
臭哄哄的蒜味香肠，艳俗的大吊灯。这就像一家闹鬼的快餐店。
Hey, I'm sending Oleg to Queens to pick up a flat of Fresca. Yeah.
我让奥列格去皇后区买一箱柑橘味饮料，没错。
There's nothing better with a hoagie than an ice-cold fresca.
冰柑橘饮料配何奇三明治可是最棒的组合。
That's what I wanted!
我就是在想着那个呢
Look... they'll go great with the pickled eggs!
听着...配上腌鸡蛋风味更佳哦！
This just went from my dream to a nightmare.
我的梦想正式变成了恶梦。