Martha Stewart, please. It's Michelle Obama.
请接玛莎·斯图尔特。我是米歇尔·奥巴马。
What's this about? My sheets shrunk and I am pissed. Hello?
找她什么事吗？我的床单洗缩水了，老娘很不爽。还在吗？
Max, it didn't work when you were Mick Jagger with a busted muffin tin.
你假装是米克·贾格尔说你的松饼托烤坏了，没用。
Or Alicia Keys with a wonky shower curtain.
装艾丽西亚·凯斯说浴帘摇摇欲坠也没用
And it really didn't work when you were Steve Jobs back from the dead with thoughts on her panini press.
你假装是死而复生的史蒂夫·乔布斯说要指点她的三明治机，更没人理你
Stop sober dialing Martha Stewart!
别在清醒时，一直打电话骚扰人家了
Who says I'm sober?
谁说我清醒了

Max, give me your phone.
麦克斯，你的手机给我
My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.
老娘的"奶"昔招蜂引蝶一流。
Now give me my phone.
把我的手机换给我
Okay, take it, done. I'm over her.
拿去，行了吧。我看开了。
When is she gonna call me? My milkshake would totally bring her to the yard.
她什么时候才会打给我啊？我的"奶"昔一定能把她招来的。
Max, this isn't you. I mean, you're strong. You're a badass.
麦克斯，这不像你啊。你是女强人。女硬汉。
You beat H.P.V. with tylenol.
你吃止痛药就能消灭乳突病毒了。
And it wasn't even the name brand. What's wrong with you?
而且你是吃的还是杂牌货。你这是怎么回事？
I was a virgin before Martha, okay?
玛莎破了我的处，行了吧
No one ever told me I was good at anything before her.
在她之前，从来没有人夸过我行
And you never forget your first rich white woman.
人生"第一个"大款白女人哪能说忘就忘