Thank you for driving me back to my hotel.
谢谢你开车送我回酒店
Oh, it's not a problem.
没事儿
I was going to ask Leonard to do it, but he seemed a bit emotionally unstable
我本想让莱纳德送我,但他似乎有点情绪波动
And you don't want someone like that operating heavy machinery.
这样的人可不能操纵重型机械
No, you do not. Your "check engine" light is on.
没错，我同意,你车上的"检查引擎"提示灯亮了
Yeah, I gotta put a sticker over that.
是啊，我真该贴张贴纸上去
So, uh, you must be devastated about your divorce.
离婚一定让你感到伤心欲绝吧
Oh, not at all. But I am a bit distressed to be in a vehicle that's not subjected to regular maintenance.
一点也不,倒是坐在一辆不进行例行维护的汽车里,让我感到有些焦虑
Come on, I mean, you're not upset that your marriage is over?
等等，你的婚姻终结了,你却一点不难过吗
Well, initially I felt something akin to grief and perhaps anger,
一开始，我感到类似悲伤或近似生气的情绪
But that's the natural reaction of the limbic system o being betrayed by a loathsome son of a bitch.
但是在那不要脸的狗杂种背叛我之后大脑边缘系统的自然反应
Sure, sure. Thankfully, my shock was somewhat mitigated by the fact that I haven't had intercourse with him in eight years.
很有理,但好在我已经8年没和他发生性关系了,这也多少减轻了打击程度
Eight years? Oh, that's nothing. I've been responsible for my own orgasms since 1982.
居然有八年,这没什么,自1982年来，性高潮问题都是我自行解决
Yikes. What's so funny?
欧耶,笑什么
That's exactly what I say during orgasms: "Yikes."
我性高潮时都用这个词儿，"欧耶"
You know what? I could use a drink.
我现在真想喝一杯
Do you want to stop for a drink?
顺道去喝一杯吗
Oh, I don't drink. I do, I'll teach you.
我不喝酒，有我教你呢
Leonard? Leonard? Leonard?
莱纳德,莱纳德,莱纳德
What is it? I made tea. I don't want tea.
干嘛,我泡了茶,我不想喝茶
I didn't make tea for you. This is my tea.
又不是泡给你喝的,这是我的茶
Then why are you telling me?
那你告诉我干嘛
It's a conversation starter.
这算是开场白
That's a lousy conversation starter.
这开场白烂透了
Oh, is it? We're conversing. Checkmate.
是吗，我们不是开始聊天了吗,将军，你输了
What do you want, Sheldon?
你到底想要干嘛，谢尔顿
What I want is to be departing the starship Enterprise in a oneman shuttle craft headed to the planetoid I rule
我想要从企业号星舰飞船上乘坐单人穿梭机前往由我统治的星球
Known as Sheldon Alpha Five. I want that too.
着名的谢尔顿阿尔法5号星球,这我也想
Why are you here?
我问你来这里干嘛
To comfort you, of course. No, that's not going to work at all. I'll comfort you from over here.
当然是来安慰你,哦不，这个位置一点也不好,我还是到那边去安慰你吧
Leonard, what you're experiencing is a classic Jungian crisis
莱纳德，你现在的心理状态是典型的荣格主义危机(着名瑞士心理学家)
In which the aging individual mourns the loss of the nevertobe realized ideal family unit.
个体随着年龄的增长会哀悼不可能实现的理想家庭成员的缺失
Thank you, that's very comforting.
多谢，真是倍感安慰
That's not the comforting part. It's not?
我还没说到安慰部分呢,还没说到啊
No, no. The comforting part is that the Germans have a term for what you're feeling. Weltschmerz.
当然,安慰部分是，对于你现在的感受,德国人提出了一个专业术语悲观主义
It means the depression that arises from comparing the world as it is to a hypothetical, idealized world.
意思是由假设与理想世界和现实世界之间比较产生的落差从而导致的抑郁情绪
You're right, I do feel better.
果不其然，我还真好受点了
Well, the Germans have always been a comforting people.
德国人在安慰方面还真有一套
Just remember, Leonard, where your biological family
莱纳德，只要记住，即使你的亲生家人
Has failed you, you always have me, your surrogate family.
有负于你，至少你还有我，你的替代家人
You're my surrogate family?
你是我的替代家人
If it's any consolation, I'm not happy about it either. Good night.
如果这算是安慰，我也没什么好高兴的,晚安
Okay, now this time try drinking it all at once. Yikes.
好了，这次来试试一口闷,欧耶
I've been responsible for my own buzz since 2003.
自2003年起，我就自行解决酒后兴奋的问题
Another round for me and my homegirl.
给我和我闺蜜再满上
I feel a spreading warmth through my extremities.
我感到一阵暖意扩散到四肢
As long as you don't feel it running down your pants, you're fine.
只要别暖到让你想脱裤子，就准没事
Oh, that is fascinating. I'm noticing an immediate lowering of my inhibitions.
这一下太猛了,我感觉自己一下就没了矜持
For example, I'm seriously considering asking that busboy
比如说,我很认真地考虑起，去叫那打杂的
To ravish me in the alleyway while I eat cheesecake.
让我边吃着芝士蛋糕，边在后巷强奸我
What do you think?
你怎么想
Well, we are known for our cheesecake.
我们的芝士蛋糕很出名
Hit us again.Yes.
给我们再来一杯，对
If a little is good, more must be better.
如果喝一点感觉就这么爽，再喝一定更爽
Hey, Bev, guess what? What? I'm sleeping with your son.
贝芙，你猜怎么着，什么,我跟你儿子上床了
Really? Which one? The one from whom I live across the hall... from.
真的，哪个儿子,就是住在我家对面的那个
Well, that's convenient. How did his penis turn out?
那倒是很方便,他的小弟弟咋样
Oh, Beverly, I can't talk to my boyfriend's mother about his penis.Oh, fair enough.
贝芙丽，我可不想跟我男友的母亲讨论他的小弟弟，有道理
What can you tell me, if anything,
那你对那打杂的
About that busboy's penis?
他的小弟弟，有何见解
Actually, I've only had the cheesecake. One more time.
其实，我只吃过芝士蛋糕,再来一杯
You know, Leonard did not want to tell you we were dating.
莱纳德不想告诉你我俩在交往
Really? Well, that means he's either embarrassed about the relationship or he doesn't care enough about his mother to tell her he's in one.
真的,这要不就意味着他对你们的关系感到尴尬,要不就是他不怎么在乎他老妈,不想告诉她，他在跟人交往
Either way, one of us should be insulted.
不管是哪个原因，我俩总有个人受辱
Well, let's go find out who.
咱去证实下，到底是谁受辱
You go get a taxi.
你先去拦辆出租
I'm gonna slip my business card into that busboy's back pocket, cupping his firm, right buttock as I do so.
我得去往那打杂的屁股兜里塞张我的名片,扯起他的制服，塞他右半边屁股兜里
Leonard...? Sonny boy! Get out here! Your mommy wants to talk to you!
莱纳德,小宝贝,快出来,你妈咪想跟你谈谈
What the hell is going on?
到底怎么回事
You're in trouble. Why didn't you tell me you were tapping my homegirl?
你麻烦大了,你干嘛不告诉我，你在追我的闺蜜
Did I say that right? Yeah, not bad, not bad.
我这样说对吗,对，不错，很不错
Are you guys drunk?
你们俩喝醉了吗
Well, I hope so. Otherwise, why would we have stopped at Del Taco?
我倒想的,不然，我们干嘛停在Del Taco(着名快餐店)
Now, how could you not tell me you were in a relationship with this lovely, charming young woman?
你怎么能不告诉我你在跟这么个可爱迷人的姑娘谈恋爱呢
Oh, thank you. You're welcome.
多谢夸奖，不客气
Is it because she's uneducated, trapped in a menial service position?
是因为她没啥文化又做的是低贱的服务生吗
What the hell happened to "lovely and charming"?
你不是才说我可爱又迷人吗
How come you didn't tell me that you and Father were getting a divorce?
你怎么能不告诉我你和爸离婚了
How come you didn't tell me you had surgery?
怎么能不告诉我，你动过手术
How come you didn't tell me my dog died?
怎么能不告诉我，我的狗狗死了
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait...
等等，等等
What I hear you saying is that you want a more intimate motherson relationship.
我知道你的意思了,你是想要更亲密的母子关系
I do. There. It's late. Now, go to bed.
是的,好了，很晚了,现在，上床睡觉去
I'm getting a warm feeling spreading through my heart. That's the Del Taco.
我感到一阵暖意，扩散到心头,那是因为Del Taco(快餐店名)
Why is Leonard softly banging his head against his bedroom door?
为什么莱纳德在用他的头轻撞他卧室的门
Speaking of warm feelingscome here. Now I'd rather have the busboy.
说起暖意，过来,还不如去吻那打杂的呢
Thank you for taking me to the airport. You're very welcome.
谢谢你送我去机场,不客气
Once again, I'm driving. I'm right here.
我再次重申，是我在开车,而且我就在这儿呢
Please, I am very hungover and in no mood to satisfy your need for approval.
拜托，我宿醉未醒够难受了,没心情照顾到你想被肯定的心情
Sheldon, I do hope you'll forgive me for my inappropriate behavior last night.
谢尔顿，我真心希望你能谅解,谅解我昨晚的不当之举
I don't blame you. You were intoxicated. Thank you.
我并不怪你,你只是喝醉了,谢谢
I blame Penny. I blame Penny, too. Bad Penny.
我怪的是佩妮,我也怪佩妮,佩妮真坏
Wait a minute, what are you talking about?
等等，你们在说什么
What inappropriate behavior?
什么不当之举
I think it's best that you not know. Agreed. Agreed.
我想你最好不要知道,我同意，同意
What the hellagreed. And I want you to take very good care of this young woman.
不管了，我也同意,你要好好对待这姑娘
Oh, thank you, Beverly. You're welcome.
谢谢你，贝芙丽,不客气
She doesn't have much in the way of career prospects.
她的职业前景没多大出路
Don't make her responsible for her own orgasms as well.
也别让她自个儿解决性高潮问题
Mother, remember when I was complaining
妈，记得我跟你抱怨过
That you don't communicate with me enough?
你跟我之间交流不够吗
Yes, dear.I'm over it.
记得，亲爱的，我言过其实了