I've invented a science joke, would you like to hear it? Sure.
我新编了一个科学笑话，想听吗？好啊。
How many Edisons does it take to screw in a light bulb? How many?
换一个灯泡要多少个爱迪生呢？几个？
Who cares? He stole the idea and doesn't deserve his own joke.
谁管他？他偷了灯泡这个创意，他不配有自己为主题的笑话。
Is that really true? Of course, that's how you know it's a good joke. It not only entertains, it informs.
这是真的吗？当然，所以你才能知道这是个好笑话。好笑话就是得寓教于乐。
Hey, sorry to interrupt. Yeah, Barry, uh, how many Edisons does it take to screw in a light bulb?
抱歉打扰了。巴里，换一个灯泡要多少个爱迪生呢？
Did you know Edison didn't actually invent the light bulb?
你知道灯泡实际上不是爱迪生发明的吧？
What do you want, Barry?
你来干嘛，巴里？
Just wanted to drop this off as a little thank you for Amy.
来给艾米送一份小小谢礼。
What's this for?
为什么送我礼物？
Your idea really helped me out. My light-cone quantization paper's online already. The response has been amazing.
你的点子真的帮了我大忙。我光锥量子化的论文已经发表到网上了。反响非常棒。
Well, that's fascinating. I can't wait to read it.
那太好了。我迫不及待要去拜读了。
Oh, no, me as well. Uh, please e-mail it to sheldon@bazinga. biz. Why "Dot-biz"? Because I just gave you the business. And also bazinga. com was taken.
我也是呢。请发到我电子邮箱sheldon@bazinga.biz。为什么是"点biz"？因为我一招"商"得你体无完肤。还因为bazinga.com被人先注册了。
Anyway, thanks again. Cooper, suck eggs.
好啦，再次谢谢你。库伯，去吃鸡"蛋"吧。
Since when do you help out Barry Kripke?
你什么时候去帮巴里·克里普奇了？
Well, I'd been thinking about a cellular automata approach to neuronal connectivity, and I thought it might have some interesting applications to string theory-- it's not a big deal.
我最近在思考通过元胞自动机来研究神经元连接，然后我觉得这可能对弦理论研究有些不错的用途。小忙不值得一提啦。
Oh, really? When I was doing string theory and hit a dead end, why didn't you try to help me?
是吗？我研究弦理论走进死胡同那会儿你怎么没想过来帮我呢？
I did, you said the only math biologists know is if you have three frogs and one hops away, that leaves two frogs.
我有啊，你说生物学家唯一懂的数学，就是如果有三只青蛙，一只跳走了那还剩下两只。
That's pretty funny, that does sound like me. But that doesn't mean that you should be standing on street corners handing out your math to whatever guy comes along.
还挺有哏的，的确像是我会说的话。但这也不代表你就可以去站街边，随便哪个男人经过，你就把你的计算给人家啊。
Sheldon, we're all scientists. I helped out a fellow colleague. You're being petty.
谢尔顿，我们都是科学家。我就是给一个同事帮个忙而已。你要不要这么小气。
I'm being petty? You know Barry and I have a professional rivalry. You heard him-- he told me to suck eggs.
我小气吗？你明知道我跟巴里是职场上宿敌。你也听到他说的了，他叫我去吃鸡"蛋"。
If we were friends, he would have suggested I suck something more pleasant.
如果我跟他是朋友，那他就会叫我去吃些比较令人爽快的东西。
Why are you laughing? Did you learn something?
你笑什么？你是不是学坏了？
Okay, Ma. Say hi to Aunt Gladys. Yeah, I love you, too. Bye.
好的，妈。替我跟格莱蒂斯阿姨问好。我也爱你。再见。
Your mom having fun in Florida?
你妈妈在佛罗里达玩得开心吗？
Mmm, she loves it. She finally found a place where everyone talks about how sweaty they are.
她很喜欢那里。她终于找到个春暖花开、大家都在讨论流了多少汗的地方。
Anyway, she wants us to go to the house and check in on Stuart because he might be "lonely."
总之，她是想我们回她家去看看斯图尔特会不会太"孤单"。
She's just being nice.
她只是人很好嘛。
Well, I'm her son, how come she doesn't send someone to check on me if I'm lonely?
我是他宝贝儿子，她怎么就不找人来看看我孤不孤单？
Because you have a wife.
因为你有个老婆。
Yeah, well, sometimes you work late.
是没错，可是有时候你下班好晚。
I know you don't like Stuart being in the house, but the store's about to reopen, I'm sure he'll get back on his feet.
我知道你不喜欢斯图尔特赖在你家，但他的店马上要重新开张了，我相信他很快又能自食其力。
That would be great. I'd love for things between me and Mom to get back to normal.
那就太好了。我也非常想跟我妈的关系回到正常。
Well, normal's a strong word, but sure.
"正常"这词有点言过其实，但你说是就是吧。
Hey. Hello... You okay?
好啊。好...你还好吧？
If I was okay, I would've said "Hello" and not the much more ominous "Hello."
如果我还好，我会说 "好！"而不是语气很衰的"好..."
What's going on? I'm mad at Amy.
怎么啦？我在生艾米的气。
Did she leave pit stains in your favorite crop top, too?
她也在你最爱的露脐背心上留下腋下汗渍了吗？
No. She helped Barry Kripke make an advancement in string theory.
没有。她帮巴里·克里普奇在线理论上做出突破。
Oh, that sounds like a good thing.
听起来挺好的啊。
Well, it would be, except that I left string theory, because I decided it was a dead end. Yeah, she went behind my back to help someone else to prove me wrong. My rival, no less.
按理来说是。可是我已经不研究弦理论了，因为我觉得那是条死路。而她背着我帮别人证明我错了。而且那人还是我的宿敌。
I'm sorry you had to see that. I'm sorry I didn't have a camera. Why would she do this to me?
抱歉让你看到了这一幕。我只遗憾我手边没相机。她为什么要这么对我呢？
Well, I'm sure she didn't upset you on purpose. Besides, aren't you the one who says there's nothing more important than the advancement of science?
我想她不是故意要惹你生气。而且你不是总说，没有什么是比让科学进步更重要的吗？
No, I said there's nothing more important than me advancing science.
我说的是，没有什么比"我"让科学进步更重要的。
All right, well, if I'm understanding this right, and all she did was help out another scientist, I'm thinking you might have to let this one go.
好吧，如果我没理解错，而她也真的只是帮忙了别的科学家，我觉得你对这件事应该就算了吧。
Ugh, "Let it go." I have heard that my whole life. Every time something upsets me somebody says, "Let it go," you know, like it's my fault, and it's not okay to feel the way I feel.
"算了吧"，这句话我听了一辈子了。每次我有事情不开心，就有人让我"算了吧"。说得好像都是我的问题，我有不高兴的情绪是不对的。
I don't know what to tell you. I mean, why don't you talk to her?
我不知道该说什么了。你何不跟她谈谈呢？
Is that all you have? Shopworn tidbits like "talk to her" and "let it go"? Gee, Penny, life's giving me lemons. What should I do?
你就这点招吗？"跟她谈"和"算了吧"，这种陈腔滥调的方法招数？佩妮，生活给了我又酸又苦的柠檬。我该怎么办？
Well, you could shove them somewhere.
你可以找个"地方"塞进去呀。
Okay, now you're getting creative.
好吧，现在你会发散思维了。
Thanks again for your help. No problem. Our pleasure. The place really looks great.
再次感谢你们来帮忙。不用谢。别客气。这地方看起来真棒。
Yeah, you should have burned it down years ago.
是啊，你应该早几年放火烧掉的。
I keep telling you I didn't burn it down.
我再三地告诉你们，不是我故意烧掉的。
We know, we know, because burning something down for the insurance money is a "crime."
我们知道，因为为了骗保险金而故意纵火叫"犯罪"。
Stuart, this place looks amazing. Thanks. You really did a nice job.
斯尔图特，这地方简直焕然一新呀。谢谢。看得出来你很用心。
And thank you for putting up with me staying at your mom's through all this. II couldn't have done it otherwise.
谢谢你在这整段过程中容忍我住在你妈家里。否则我也不能重开这家店。
I appreciate that, and I'm glad you were able to...Is that my mother's furniture?
别说客套话了，我很高兴你能...那是我妈的家具吗？
Yeah, she said I could use it. Doesn't it look great?
是啊，她说我可以搬过来用。看起来很搭吧？
Not as great as it looks in the den where it belongs. Howie.
还是放小房间里比较搭，因为它只属于那里。华仔。
Why don't you just clean out the whole room? Take the string art clown I made her in third grade and the ribbon I got in swim class for putting my face in the water.
你何不索性把整个房间都搬空算了？把我三年级给我妈做的手工彩线小丑拿走啊，再随便把我参加游泳班在水里憋气赢来的缎带奖拿走啊。
What is your problem? She said it was okay.
你干嘛生气啊？你妈都不介意了。
Well, I'm her son, and I say it's not okay.
我是她的儿子，我很介意。
Some son looks like you spent ten minutes on that clown art.
哪门子的儿子，那手工小丑你也就花了十分钟做的吧。
Well, maybe I should've gone to a fancy art school like you. Then I could run a failed comic shop and mooch off some guy's mother.
或许我应该像你一样去念名牌艺术学校。然后开一家失败的漫画店，店倒了就去骗其他人妈妈的钱。
Why don't we leave so you can cool off?
我们先走，让你冷静一下吧？
I think that's a good idea. Take him out of my store.
这主意不错。快带他离开我的店。
Your store? ! My mother gave you the money to reopen. I'm not going anywhere.
你的店？！你重开店的钱还是我妈给的。我哪儿也不去。
Why don't we go get the food for the party. Thank you.
要不我们去给派对买点吃的吧。麻烦你们了。
Smart. Looks like we're being helpful.
聪明，这样看起来我们好像在帮忙。
Mmm, when really we're just exiting an uncomfortable situation.
其实我们只是想快点逃离这个难堪的场面。
Kripke, you know, of all the people-Barry Kripke. I'm so...Are you folding it like a crazy person to get me to do it for you? !
为什么偏偏要帮巴里·克里普奇呢。我超... 你是故意像个疯子一样叠衣服，好让我看不过眼帮你吗？
No. Oh, give me that.
不是啊。算了，我来吧。
Just out of curiosity, if I were to let something go, how would I do that?
我很好奇，如果我想放下某件事，我该怎么做到呢？
I don't know. Just think about something else.
我不知道，想想其他事情试试。
Can I think about the spiny anteater? Sure.
我可以想食蚁兽吗？可以啊。
The spiny anteater...never went behind my back and worked with Barry Kripke. That didn't help at all.
食蚁兽从来没背着我去帮忙巴里·克里普奇。这招一点用都没有。
You know, some people try visualization.
有些人会尝试运用观想术。
How does that work? Okay, imagine your problems are a pen. Okay.
那要怎么做？好，想像你的问题是一支笔。好的。
Now imagine you're holding that pen.
现在想象你握着那支笔。
Okay. Now open your hand and let it go.
好的。现在松开手，让笔掉下来（算了吧）。
But I just got this pen. It's got my initials on it and everything. Look.
可我才拿到这支笔。上面有我名字的首字母缩写呢。你看。
Sheldon, this isn't that hard.
谢尔顿，这没有那么难。
I may have a better way that you can teach me.
我或许有个让你教我的更好办法。
How? What if I told you that over the past few months Amy has secretly been giving you little puzzles to test your intelligence against chimpanzees in her lab?
怎么做？如果我告诉你，在过去几个月里，艾米在暗中悄悄让你做一些智力小难题，就为了对比你和她实验室黑猩猩谁更聪明呢？
What? She didn't give me any puzzles.
什么？她才没让我解决什么小难题呢。
Are you sure? Boy, I just can't seem to get these scissors back together. Can you do it?
你确定吗？天啊，我把剪刀弄成两半装不回来了。你能帮个忙吗？
Darn it. There's something in my eye, and I need to sort these coins by size. Can you help?
糟糕。我的眼睛进东西了，我得把这些硬币按大小分类。你能帮个忙吗？
Penny? I really want to eat this banana, but it's stuck inside this bamboo puzzle box.
佩妮？我超级想吃香蕉，但它被卡在这个竹子机关箱了。
Son of a bitch! Okay, that's great. Now, let it go.
那个科学婊！太好了。现在想，算了吧。