You feel like trying something new for dinner?
晚饭想不想换个花样
Maybe Indian, TexMex?
要不试试印度菜或者德墨菜(德墨菜 德州式墨西哥菜)
You ever wonder how humans would be different if they evolved from lizards instead of mammals?
你有没有好奇过 如果人类是从蜥蜴(美国的德克萨斯州和墨西哥接壤) 而不是哺乳动物进化而来 会有啥区别
Okay, let's talk about that.
好吧 你说吧
As you know, lizards coldblooded animals lack the ability to sense temperature.
你也知道 蜥蜴这种冷血动物 缺乏感知温度的能力
But they do move more sluggishly when it's cold.
但它们确实在低温环境下行动更迟缓
So, lizard weathermen would say things like,Bring a sweater, it's slow outside.
所以呢 蜥蜴天气预报员会这么说话 带上件毛衣 外面好慢(冷)
I love my mind.
我爱死自己的犀利头脑了
We all do.Now, how about dinner?
我们也是 快说 晚饭吃啥
Oh, I would assume we'd enjoy insects or smaller lizards.
我猜我们会享受吃昆虫和小蜥蜴的盛宴(大多数蜥蜴吃动物性食物 主要是各种昆虫 体型较大的蜥蜴会以其他蜥蜴为食物)
We could also pull each other's tails off and grill them;they'll just grow back.
我们也可以扯掉对方的尾巴然后烤着吃 反正还能再长回来
My lifesize cardboard Mr. Spock is here!
我的真人大小的卡纸板史波克先生到了(史波克先生 《星际迷航》中的大副先生)
I know he wouldn't care for an outburst of human emotion,but, oh, goodie, oh, goodie, oh, goodie.
我知道他不喜欢常人情感的瞬间流露 可是 好棒哦 好棒哦 好棒哦
Commander Spock requesting permission to be unfolded.
史波克中校请求拆封
Excuse me.
失陪一下
Permission granted, Commander.
允许拆封 中校
Which is why the more intelligent the monkey,the more feces they fling.
这就是为什么越聪明的猴子 就越喜欢扔大便
Excuse me, Amy.
打断一下 艾米
Penny, do you have plans for dinner tonight?
佩妮 你今天的晚饭有安排吗
Why, you guys going somewhere?
怎么了 你们要去什么好地方吗
No, I mean just you and me.
不是 就咱俩单独吃
You mean, like a date?
像约会那样吗
Not like a date, a date.
不是约会的那种约会
Um... ookay.Sure.
呃 好吧 行啊
Oh, no! They sent the wrong Spock!
天啊 这不是我要的史波克
Live long and suck it, Zachary Quinto.
生生不息 早日去死 扎克瑞·昆图(电视剧版《星际迷航》史波克的扮演者)
Our whole universe was in a hot dense state,then nearly fourteen billion years ago expansion tarted.Wait...
我们的宇宙进入了极热的高浓度状态，后来，140亿年前它开始扩张。等等……
The Earth began to cool,the autotrophs began to drool,neanderthals developed tools, we built a wall (we built the pyramids),
地球开始冷却，自养生物开始繁殖,穴居人学会使用工具，我们开始建墙（我们还建了金字塔）
Math, science, history, unraveling the mysteries,That all started with the big bang!bang!
数学、科学、历史解开了宇宙之谜。这一切从宇宙大爆炸开始。
This is so exciting.If Leonard and Penny get back together,Howard and I can go on double dates with them.
太好了 要是莱纳德和佩妮复合了 我和霍华德就可以跟他们一起四人约会了
How come you never invite Sheldon and me on a double date?
你怎么从来不邀请谢尔顿和我参加四人约会呢
How's it going in there, Penny?!
你衣服试得怎么样了 佩妮
Just a sec.
稍等片刻
Too much?
是不是太隆重了
Yes. No.
确实 才没有
Okay, just hang on.
好吧 再等一下
You just can't handle her raw sexuality, can you?
你受不了她那股天生的骚劲 对吧
When did you and Leonard break up?
你和莱纳德是什么时候分手的
Uh, about two years ago.
差不多两年前吧
Why do you think he asked you out again?
你觉得他约你吃饭的原因是什么
I don't know.
不知道
Maybe he's dying.That would be so romantic.
也许是他命不久矣 那该有多浪漫啊
He's not dying.
他命长着呢
Too bad.
真可惜
If he were, she could just throw him in bed and ride him right up until he flatlines.
如果是的话 她就可以把莱纳德推到在床 骑在他身上尽性 直到他心跳停止
How about this?
这件怎么样
Maybe. Come on.
还行 拜托
Yeah, okay, no.
好吧 这件不行
Do you think you'll sleep with him tonight?
你觉得你今晚会和他上床吗
Absolutely not.Look, we're just gonna have dinner and, you know, see how it goes.
绝对不会 我们就是吃个饭 然后再看情况吧
If he were dying, would you sleep with him?
如果他病入膏肓了 你会和他上床吗
What?!
什么
Assuming he were dying of something that couldn't be sexually transmitted.
假设他身患绝症 而这种病不会通过性行为传播
You know, like a spear wound to the head.
比如脑袋上的箭伤
Okay, he is not dying.
够了 他的命长着呢
How do you know? Are you a doctor?
你怎么知道 你是医生吗
You can makebelieve, though.
不过你可以这么幻想嘛
Sometimes Howard and I pretend that his arrhythmia is acting up and I'm a sexy cardiologist.
有时候霍华德和我会假装他出现了心律失常 而我是一个性感的心脏病医生
And the naughty part is I'm not in his HMO network.
最好玩的部分是 我的护理服务可是不收费的哟
Screw it. I'm not gonna make a big deal out of this.It's just dinner.
算了 我不打算搞得好得多大件事 就是吃个晚饭嘛
With a dead man.
跟死人一起吃
Amy, stop it.Oh, God, I'm so nervous.
艾米 别说了 天啊 我好紧张
Relax.You know Leonard's always been crazy about you.It's gonna be great.
放松啦 你知道莱纳德一直都很喜欢你 不会有事的
I know, but we've finally gotten to a place where we can hang out without it being weird.And what if something goes wrong? Then what?
我知道 可是我们好不容易才到了 见面聊天都不尴尬的地步 万一出了什么岔子呢 然后怎么办
Guess it'll just be Sheldon and me going on a double date with Howard and Bernadette.
我猜只有谢尔顿和我 去陪霍华德和伯纳黛特一起四人约会了
Sure, we'd love that.
是啊 我们好期待
Change your clothes; we got a lot riding on this.
快换衣服 我俩可就指望你俩今晚的表现了
I want to build a road, but I need wood.
我想修条路 但我需要硬木(wood亦指勃起的阴茎)
Do either of you fellows have wood?
你俩谁有硬木吗
I don't understand the laughter.
我不知道你们在笑什么
The object of Settlers of Catan is to build roads and settlements.To do so requires wood.Now, I have sheep; I need wood.
《卡坦岛》的目标 就是修建道路和房屋 所以需要硬木 我现在有绵羊 缺硬木(sheep有时用来指代发生性关系的女人)
Who has wood for my sheep?
谁能拿硬木换我的绵羊
Okay, how do I look?
我这身看着怎么样
More to the point, why are you doing this?
我更想知道 你为什么要这么做
What are you talking about?
你在说什么
Did you forget what Penny did to you?It took you two years and defiling my sister to turn that frown upside down.
你忘了佩妮当初怎么对你的吗 你花了两年的时间 还玷污了我妹妹 才把你的愁云惨淡换成嬉皮笑脸
I didn't defile your sister,we had a relationship.
我没有玷污你妹妹 我们只是交往过
I heard you call her Brown Sugar.
我以前听你叫她靓妹黑妞呢(Brown Sugar 多数形容漂亮性感的黑人女性)
In my book, that's defilement.
在我看来 这就是玷污
You want to know my opinion?
想听听我的意见吗
Oh, boy, do I!
天啊 想听得不得了
Sarcasm?
是故意说反话吗
No.
不是
All right, then.
那好吧
The reason you're fixated on a goodnatured simpleton like Penny is that she's the exact opposite of your first romantic attachment:your brilliant yet intimidating mother.
你之所以对佩妮这种 秀外痴中的姑娘念念不忘 是因为她跟你的第一位爱慕对象截然相反 也就是你害怕的天才母亲
Where on earth did you get that from?
你怎么会有这种想法
It's in her book, Needy Baby, Greedy Baby.
她的书《越缺爱的小孩越贪心》里写的
That doesn't make it true.
那也不代表就是真的
It's called nonfiction for a reason, Leonard.
莱纳德 那本书可是非虚构类的
See you later.
回见
If they ever make a movie version of that book,you know who should play Leonard's mother?
如果有人把她那本书拍成电影 你们知道该由谁来扮演莱纳德的妈妈吗
Sandra Bullock.
桑德拉·布洛克(桑德拉·布洛克 好莱坞着名女影星 演过不少爱情片)
Why?
为什么
Because she's great in everything.
因为她每部作品都诠释得很好
Now, where were we? Oh, yes. Does anyone have any wood?
我们玩到哪儿了 对了 你们谁有硬木吗
Oh, come on!I just want wood.Why are you making it so hard?
啊
So, do they have a name for a first date with someone you used to go out with?
有什么词可以形容 跟以前相好过的人第一次约会吗
Oh, that's a good question.
这个问题问得好
How about awkward?
尴尬怎么样
Yeah, that sounds right. Yeah?
这词挺恰当的 对吧
Hey, how about if we pretend we're actually on a first date?
要不我们假装这真的是第一次约会
See how that goes. Okay.
看看结果怎么样 好啊
So, Polly, tell me about yourself.
胖妮 跟我说说你吧
It's Penny.
我叫佩妮
Oh, sorry, yeah. Awkward.
对不起 真尴尬
Okay, uh, let's see.I'm from Nebraska, and ever since I was a little girl,I dreamed of moving to L.A. and becoming a movie star.
没事 我想想 我来自内布拉斯加 我还很小的时候 就梦想着能搬到洛杉矶 成为一名电影明星
Anyway, after four years of acting lessons and waiting tables,I've done a hemorrhoid commercial and a production of Anne Frank above a bowling alley.
不过上了四年的表演课 当了四年服务员之后 我出演了一个痔疮广告 和一个保龄球球道上面扮演过安妮·弗兰克
So, you know, dreams do come true.
所以梦想真的能实现的
Your turn.
该你了
Uh, let's see.
我想想
Uh, I am an experimental physicist at CalTech,most of my research is with highpowered lasers,and, oh, I've just gotten a big government grant to see if they can be used to knock out incoming ballistic missiles.
我是加州理工学院的实验物理学家 大部分研究都跟高功率激光有关 我最近刚拿到一大笔政府资助金 看看能不能用于研究 击落来袭的弹道导弹
Wow. Can they?
哇 那能实现吗
Oh, God, no.
废话 当然不行
The money's pretty good.
不过看在这么多钱的份上
And I used the equipment to make my own Batsignal.Batsignal?What are you, some kind of nerd?
蝙蝠信号 怎么 你是所谓的宅男吗
Not some kind of nerd, I'm the king of the nerds.
不是所谓的宅男 而是宅男之王
What does that mean?
宅男之王是什么意思
Uh, it means if anyone displeases me,I don't help them set up their printer.
意思是谁要是惹恼我了 我就不帮他们装打印机
You are so funny.
你真幽默
Good. Remember that when I take my shirt off.
那就好 那我脱衣服的时候 你就想着这个优点好了
Leonard, this is nice.I'm so glad we did this.
莱纳德 这样真好 我很高兴我们能约会
Me, too.
我也是
So what do you think?Are we gonna get back together?
那你意下如何 我们能复合吗
Whoa. Not so fast.
不用这么快吧
I'm sorry, what did I say?
对不起 我说错什么了吗
Leonard, you know I will always have feelings for you.
莱纳德 你知道我对你的感觉永远不会变
Oh, God. What?
老天 怎么了
You said always.You'll always have feelings for me.
你说了永远 你对我的感觉永远不会变
So?
有问题吗
So, that sounds more like something you'd say if you didn't want a relationship with someone.
那听起来更像是在说 你不想和某人谈恋爱
This isn't working out,but I'll always have feelings for you.
我们不会有结果的 但我对你的感觉永远不会变
I'm sorry I slept with your best friend,but I'll always have feelings for you.
对不起 我跟你的好朋友睡了 但我对你的感觉永远不会变
Here's the thing, Lisa,I'm into dudes now, but I'll always have feelings for you.
是这样的 丽莎 我现在喜欢男的了 但我对你的感觉永远不会变
How would you say it?
那你会怎么说
I have feelings for you.
我对你的感觉不会变
It's the same thing. No, it's not.Always made it worse.
这不是一样嘛 不一样 加上永远只会适得其反
You're overthinking this.
你想太多了
No, I'm not.
我没有
Yes, you are. You always overthink things.
你有 你永远都是这样
ThThere you go. Always made it worse.
你看吧 一加永远就变味了
See, this is where everything goes wrong: when we talk.
瞧 我们一谈起来 就开始吵架
Well, I don't know how you have a relationship without talking.
谈恋爱当然要用谈的啦
Hey, I went out with this guy TJ for eight months,we never talked.
我以前还跟一个叫TJ的家伙在一起八个月 我们从来没谈过话
To this day, I don't even know what TJ stands for.
直到现在 我都不知道TJ代表啥
Wait, if you guys didn't talk, what Never mind, stupid question.
等等 你们要是不谈的话 算了 这问题真二