Ew, more details about the new Star Trek film. there's going to be a scene depicting Spock's birth.
《星际迷航》电影版的最新消息，将有描绘史巴克诞生的场景。
I'd be more interested in the scene depicting Spock's conception.
我倒是对史巴克受精场景的描绘更感兴趣。
Oh please, for Vulcans, mating, or if you will Pon-farr, the extremely private matter.
得了吧，对瓦肯族来说，交配，或者说进入庞发（发情期）是非常私人的事情。
Still I'd like to know the details. His mother was human his father was Vulcan, that couldn't just conceive.
可我还是想知道细节，他妈妈是人类爸爸是瓦肯族，不可能就这么怀上了。
Maybe they had to go to a clinic. imagine Spock's dad in a little room with a little copy of pointy ears and shapely rears.
也许得去诊所，想想看史巴克的老爹，一对尖尖的耳朵和匀称的臀部，呆在小房间……
How come in Star Trek everyone's private parts are the same?
《星际迷航》里怎么大伙儿的私处都一样呢？
no alien lady have told captain Kirk, hey get your thing out of my nose.
怎么没有哪个外星妞对柯克船长说“嘿把你那家伙从我鼻子里拿出来”
Hi can you help me, I was writing an email and the a key got stuck now it's just going aaaaaaaa...
能帮帮忙吗？我正写邮件呢，A键卡住了，现在屏幕上就不停地aaaaaaaa……
What did you spill on it? Nothing. diet coke and yoghurt a little nail polish.
你把什么洒在上面了？没什么。健怡可乐，酸奶，还有一点点指甲油。
I'll take a look at it. Gentlemen, switching to local nerd news,
我替你看看。先生们来听听本地的学究新闻，
fishman chan, chaudry and mcnair aren't fielding a team in the university physics bowl this year.
渔夫，陈，肖杜里和麦克奈今年将不组队参加大学物理竞赛了。
You are kidding, Why not?
开玩笑吧，为什么不参加？
They formed a barbershop quartet and got a gig playing Knott's Berry Farm.
他们组了一个男声四重唱，还在纳式草莓乐园里进行了一场演出。
Wow, so in your world, you're like the cool guys. Recognize.
哇哦，这么说来在你们的圈子里，你们已经算是潮人了？你总算认出来了。
This is our year. With those guys out, the entire Physics Bowl will kneel before Zod.
这将是我们大出风头的一年，那些家伙们不参加的话整个物理竞赛都将臣服于札德了。
Zod? Kryptonian villain. Long story. Good story.
扎德？氪星的大恶棍，说来话长。好故事。
Well, count me out. What? Why?
我不参加。什么？为什么？
You want me to use my intelligence in a tawdry competition?
你想让我把才智浪费在这种华而不实的比赛上吗？
Would you ask Picasso to play Pictionary?
你会让毕加索去玩画图猜词游戏吗？
Would you ask Noah Webster to play Boggle?
你会让韦伯斯特玩填字游戏吗？
Would you ask Jacques Cousteau to play Go Fish?
你会让雅克·库斯托玩钓鱼游戏吗？
Come on, you need a four-person team. We're four people.
别这样，必须四人组队，我们刚好四个人。
By that reasoning we should also play Bridge, hold up a chuppah and enter the Olympic bobsled competition.
这么说我们也应该玩桥牌，再举着彩棚参加奥林匹克雪车速滑赛。
Tickets to that, please.
那样的话别忘了给我弄张票。
Sheldon, what, do I need to quote Spock's dying words to you? No, don't.
谢尔顿你是怎么了，需要我引述史巴克的遗言给你听吗？不要。
"The needs of the many, Outweigh the needs of the few. Or the one." Damn it, I'll do it.
“大多数人的利益，重于少数人的利益，或个人的利益”。见鬼，我参加。
Okay, first order of Physics Bowl business: we need a truly kick-ass team name. Suggestions?
物理竞赛的第一道程序，我们需要一个拉风的队名，有什么建议？
How about the Perpetual Motion Squad?
永动队怎么样？
It's beyond the laws of physics, plus a little heads-up for the ladies.
超出了物理学定律，另外也是对女性朋友的小提醒。
The ladies? Perpetual Motion Squad—we can go all night. I like it.
女性？永动队——我们可以一夜不停。我喜欢。
I don't. Teams are traditionally named after fierce creatures, thus intimidating one's opponent.
我不喜欢。队名通常来源于猛兽，以此威慑对手。
Then we could be the Bengal tigers.
那我们可以叫孟加拉虎队。
Poor choice. Gram for gram, no animal exceeds the relative fighting strength of the army ant.
这选择太垃圾了。相较而言，没有什么动物的相对攻击能力能超过行军蚁。
Maybe so, but you can't incinerate a Bengal tiger with a magnifying glass.
也许是这样，但是你不能用放大镜把一只孟加拉虎烧成灰。
Let's put it to a vote. All those in favor... Point of order. I move that any vote on team names must be unanimous.
我们来投票吧，赞成……不得不指出，对队名的投票表决必须是大家一致通过的，
No man should be forced to emblazon his chest with a Bengal tiger when common sense dictates it should be an army ant.
不应该有人被迫在胸前别上孟加拉虎的图章，尽管用常识来判断都知道应该用一只行军蚁。
Will the gentleman from the great State of Denial yield for a question? I will yield.
从不接受别人意见的这位先生愿意妥协一次吗？我会妥协的。
After we go through the exercise of an annoying series of votes, all of which the gentleman will lose,
当我们经历过一系列烦人的投票，到最后这位先生输了，
does he then intend to threaten to quit if he does not get his way?
得不到他想要的结果，他会不会威胁要退出呢？
He does. I move we are the Army Ants. All those in favor?
他会威胁退出。我换投票给行军蚁大家都同意么。
Good afternoon, and welcome to today's Physics Bowl practice round.
下午好，欢迎参加今天的物理竞赛热身赛。
I'm Penny, and I'll be your host,
我是佩妮你们的主持人，
because apparently I didn't have anything else to do on a Saturday afternoon, and isn't that just a little sad?
因为显然我星期六下午没什么事干，难道不是有点可悲？
Gentlemen, are you ready? Yes. Of course. Fire away.
先生们准备好了没？是的当然了，鸣枪吧。
You know, it's none of my business, but isn't a guy who can't speak in front of women going to hold you back a little?
虽然这不关我的事，不过如果一位男士在女士面前无法开口的话会不会有点儿拖你们后腿？
Oh, he'll be okay once the women are mixed into the crowd.
他会没事的，只要那女人混在人群里。
He only has a problem when they're one-on-one and smell nice.
他只在他们独处并且她很好闻时才说不出话。
Ah, thanks, Raj. It's vanilla oil.
啊，谢谢Raj，我用的是香草精油。
I was actually the one who noticed. Okay, let's just start.
实际上注意到那味道的人是我。好了我们快开始吧。
Okay, the first question is on the topic of optics. What is the shortest light pulse ever produced?
好的，第一个问题是光学方面的，最短的光脉冲是多少？
Dr. Cooper. Of course the answer is 130 attoseconds. That is correct. I knew that, too.
库泊博士。当然答案是130渺秒。正确。我也知道。
Good for you, sweetie.
很好，宝贝儿。
Okay, next question, What is the quantum mechanical effect used to encode data on hard-disk drives?
下一个问题，用哪种量子力学效应被应用在硬盘存储加密上？
Howard? Of course the answer is giant magnetoresistance. Right.
霍华德？答案当然是巨磁阻效应。回答正确。
Hey, I buzzed in. And I answered. It's called teamwork.
嘿，我按的钮。我答了题，这叫团队合作。
Don't you think I should answer the engineering questions? I am an engineer.
你不觉得应该由我来回答工程学问题吗？我是工程师。
By that logic I should answer all the anthropology questions, because I'm a mammal.
照这种逻辑我应该回答所有人类学问题，因为我是个哺乳动物。
Just ask another one.
继续问吧。
Okay. What artificial satellite has seen glimpses of Einstein's predicted frame dragging?
好的。哪一颗人造卫星见证了爱因斯坦预言的时空结构拖曳现象？
Of course, it's Gravity Probe B.
当然是重力探针B。
Sheldon, you have to let somebody else answer. Why? Because it's polite.
谢尔顿，你也得让别人回答吧。为什么？因为这是礼貌。
What do manners have to do with it? This is war.
这跟礼貌有什么关系？这是战争。
Were the Romans polite when they salted the ground of Carthage to make sure nothing would ever grow again?
罗马人为了确保迦太基的土地上不再有任何作物生产而给田野里撒盐的时候礼貌吗？
Leonard, you said I only had to ask questions.
兰纳德你说过，我只用问问题就行了。
The objective of the competition is to give correct answers. If I know them, why shouldn't I give them?
竞赛的目的是回答出正确的答案，如果我知道正确答案为什么不说呢？
Some of us might have the correct answers, too.
我们可能也知道正确答案啊。
Oh, please. You don't even have a PhD. All right, that's it! Howard, sit down. Okay.
得了吧，你连博士学位都没有。好了我受够了！霍华德坐下。好吧。
Maybe we should take a little break.
我们还是休息一会儿吧。
Good idea. I need my wrist brace. All this button-pushing is aggravating my old Nintendo injury.
好主意，我得活动下腕关节。按钮按得我玩任天堂的旧伤都恶化了。
I agree. What did he say?
我同意。他说什么？
He compared Sheldon to a disposable feminine cleansing product one might use on a summer's eve.
他把谢尔顿比喻成可能会在仲夏夜用到的一次性女性清洁用品。
Yeah, and the bag it came in.
对，还有装它的袋子。
Leonard, excellent. I want to show you something.
兰纳德太好了，我想让你看点东西。
Can it wait? I need to talk to you.
能等一会吗？我们得谈谈。
Just look. I've designed the perfect uniforms for our team.
你看，我为我们队设计了完美的制服，
The colors are based on Star Trek: The Original Series.
颜色是根据星舰原始系列设计的。
The three of you will wear Support Red, and I will wear Command Gold.
你们三个穿陪衬的红色，我的是指挥官的金色。
Why do they say "AA"? Army Ants.
上面为什么写着AA？行军蚁。
Isn't that confusing?"AA" might mean something else to certain people.
会不会有歧义啊？AA也许对其他人来说有别的意思呢？
Why would a Physics Bowl team be called Anodized Aluminum?
物理竞赛小组为什么会叫阳极化处理的铝？
No, I meant... Never mind. Hey, check it out, I got you a Batman cookie jar. Oh, neat! What's the occasion?
不，我是指……别管它了。嘿看看，我给你买了个蝙蝠侠的饼干罐。喔，真精巧！今天是什么大日子么？
Well, you're a friend, and you like Batman and cookies, and you're off the team. What?
这个……你是我的朋友，你喜欢蝙蝠侠还有饼干，而且你被移出小队了。什么？
Howard, Raj and I just had a team meeting. No, you didn't.
霍华德Raj和我刚刚开了个小组会议。不，你不能。
Yes, we did. I just came from there.
我们开了，我刚从那回来。
Okay, I don't know where you just came from, but it could not have been a team meeting,
好吧我不知道你刚刚从哪来，但那不可能是个小组会议，
because I'm on the team and I wasn't there. Ergo, the team did not meet.
因为我是小组成员可我不在场，因此小组没有开会。
Okay, let me try it this way: I was at a coffee klatch with a couple of friends,
好吧，我这样说吧，我和几个朋友一起搞了个茶话会，
and one thing led to another, and it turns out you're off the team.
从一件事谈到另一件，最后的结果是你被移出小队了。
Why? Because you're taking all the fun out of it.
为什么？因为你把所有乐趣都给毁了。
I'm sorry, is the winner of the Physics Bowl the team that has the most fun?
不好意思，难道赢得物理竞赛不是小组最大的乐趣吗？
Okay, let me try it this way: You're annoying and no one wants to play with you anymore.
好吧那我再说明白点，你很烦人，没人愿意和你一起玩了。
I see. Well, at this point I should inform you that I intend to form my own team and destroy the molecular bonds that bind your very matter together,
我明白了。好的，那么我应该通知你，我要组建自己的队伍，把组成你们所有的分子键都打碎，
and reduce the resulting particulate chaos to tears.
让产生的微粒混沌也难过得流眼泪。
Thanks for the heads-up. You're welcome.
谢谢你的提醒。不客气。
One more thing. Yes? It's on, bitch.
还有一件事。什么？开战了，三八。
So who'd he get to be on his team?
他会找谁组队？
He won't say. He just smiles and eats macaroons out of his bat jar.
他不会告诉我们的。他只是冷笑着从蝙蝠侠的饼干罐里拿蛋白杏仁饼干吃。
He's using psychological warfare. We must reply in kind.
他用的是心理战术。我们必须以牙还牙。
I say we wait until he looks at us, then laugh like, "Yes, you are a smart and strong competitor,
我看这样，等他朝我们这边看时就大笑，表现出你的确是个聪明的强劲的对手，
but we are also smart and strong, and we have a reasonable chance of defeating you."
但我们也不比你差，而且我们很有机会赢你，怎么样？
How exactly would that laugh go?
那是怎么个笑法？
That sounds more like, "We are a tall, thin woman who wants to make a coat out of your Dalmatians."
感觉更像是”我们是又高又瘦的，想用你的斑点狗做衣服的女人
Guys, let's remember that Sheldon is still our friend and my roommate.
伙计们，谢尔顿仍然是我们的朋友和我的舍友啊。
So? So nothing. Let's destroy him. Gentlemen.
所以呢？没什么我们毁灭他吧。先生们。
Okay, we're going to need a strong fourth for our team.
我们需要一名强大的队友。
You know who is apparently very smart is the girl who played TV's Blossom.
我觉得演Blossom的那个女孩很聪明。
She got a PhD. in neuroscience or something.
她在神经科学还是什么方面拿到了博士学位。
Raj, we're not getting TV's Blossom to join our Physics Bowl team.
Raj，我们不会让电视里的Blossom来参加物理竞赛小组的。
How about the girl from The Wonder Years?
演纯真年代的那个女孩怎么样？
Gentlemen, I believe I've found the solution to all our problems.
兄弟们我想我找到解决方法了。
We can't ask Leslie Winkle.
不能叫莱斯莉·温科来参加。
Why? Because you slept together, and when she was done with you? she discarded you like last night's chutney? Yes.
为什么？因为上床了完事后她把你像隔夜的咖喱酱一样抛弃了？没错。
Sometimes you've got to take one for the team. Yeah, sack up, dude.
有时候为了队伍必须要忍受。对，像个男人老兄。
Fine. Here I go, taking one for the team... in the sack.
好吧。我就为了队伍忍一忍吧……在麻袋里……
Hey, Leslie. Hi, guys.
嘿，莱斯莉。嗨，伙计们。
So, Leslie, I have a question for you, and it might be a little awkward, you know, given that I... Hit that thing.
莱斯莉我有件事想问你，可能有点尴尬。你知道鉴于……说正事。
Leonard, there's no reason to feel uncomfortable just because we've seen each other's faces and naked bodies contorted in the sweet agony of coitus.
兰纳德没什么好尴尬的，我们只不过看着对方的脸和裸体，在性交的甜蜜和痛苦中扭曲而已。
There's not? Gee, cause it sure sounds like there should be.
不尴尬吗？天哪，可是听起来真的应该是很尴尬啊。