Checkmate. Oh! again? ! Obviously, you're not well suited for three-dimensional chess.
将军！又来？！显然你不适合玩三维国际象棋，
Perhaps three-dimensional candy land would be more your speed.
你的水平也许只适合玩三维糖果乐园。
Just reset the board.
重新来过。
It must be humbling to suck on so many different levels.
在各个水平上技术都糟糕，肯定会感到很羞耻吧？
Hey, guys. Hey. Did you get my mail?
嘿伙计们。嘿。有帮我拿邮件吗？
Yeah, right here. How was Nebraska?
有，就在这里。内布拉斯加州怎么样？
Well, better than North Dakota.
比北达科他州要好玩。
I guess that joke is only funny in Nebraska.
我想这个玩笑只适合内布拉斯加州。
From the data at hand, you really can't draw that conclusion.
就目前掌握的资料你不能妄下定论。
All you can say with absolute certainty is that that joke is not funny here.
你能确定的就是这个玩笑不适合这里。
Boy, it's good to be back.
回来真好。
How was your family?
你家人怎么样？
Ugh, it was the worst trip. Everyone got sick over the weekend.
噢，这是最糟糕的旅程了，周末所有人都生病了。
Sick? Here we go. What kind of sick?
生病？完了。哪种病？
Uh, the flu, I guess.
呃，我猜是流感。
But I don't need you to guess. I need you to know.
我不需要你猜，我需要你确认，
Now, when did the symptoms first appear?
什么时候开始出现症状的？
Maybe Friday. Friday. Was that morning or afternoon?
可能是星期五。星期五。早上还是下午？
I-I don't. Think, woman. Who blew their nose and when?
我不……好好想想，女人，谁打过喷嚏，什么时候打的？
Sheldon, relax. She doesn't have any symptoms. I'm sure she's not contagious. Oh, please.
放松，谢尔顿，她没有任何症状，我相信她不会传染给别人。噢，拜托，
If influenza was only contagious after symptoms appear, it would have died out thousands of years ago.
如果流感是在症状出现后才开始传染的，那它几千年前就灭绝了。
Somewhere between tool using and cave painting, homo-habilus would have figured out how to kill the guy with the runny nose.
就在人类开始使用工具和石洞壁画之间，原始能人就会想办法干掉流鼻涕的人。
Penny, you'll have to excuse Sheldon. He's a bit of a germaphobe.
佩妮，请原谅谢尔顿，他有点洁癖，外加神经过敏。
Oh, it's okay. I understand. Thanks for your consideration. Now please leave.
噢，没关系，我能理解。多谢你的体谅，现在请离开。
You'd better go before he starts spraying you with lysol.
在他拿出消毒剂之前你最好还是离开。
Okay. Well, thank you for getting my mail. No problem. Welcome home. What? !
好吧，谢谢你帮我拿邮件。不客气，欢迎回来。干嘛？！
What the hell are you doing?
你在瞎折腾什么？
I'm making Petrie dishes to grow throat cultures.
我在用皮氏培养皿记录我的喉咙变化。
With lime jello?
用酸橙果冻？
I need a growth medium, and someone polished off the apricot yogurt. Here, swab my throat.
我需要个培养基，还需要个人来刮杏仁酸乳酪。来，刮下我的喉咙。
I don't think so.
没门。
Leonard, if I'm ging to get ahead of this thing, I need to find out what's growing in my throat.
兰纳德，如果我要预防疾病，我必须要知道喉咙里在长些什么。
Sheldon, you are not sick. This is, but you are not.
谢尔顿你没有生病。这种行为是病态的，但你没有生病。
We have no idea what pathogen typhoid Penny has introduced into our environment.
我们根本不知道佩妮把哪种伤寒病菌带到我们的环境里，
For having never been to Nebraska, I'm fairly certain that I have no corn-husking antibodies.
我从没去过内布拉斯加州，可以确定没有那种抗体。
Sheldon, don't you think you're overreacting?
谢尔顿你不觉自己有点反应过度吗？
When I'm lying comatose in a hospital relying on inferior minds to cure me,
当我昏迷在医院里靠那些猪脑救命的时候，
these jello cultures and my accompanying notes will give them a fighting chance.
这些果冻培养基和我的字条能帮他们指引道路。
I'm going back to bed.
我回去睡觉了。
Wait. Put this in the bathroom. What for?
等等，把这个放进浴室。干嘛用？
I need to measure my fluid intake and output to make sure my kidneys aren't shutting down.
我需要测量我的水分摄入和排出确保我的肾脏没有关闭。
I mixed pancake batter in this!
我可是在这里捣薄烤饼面糊的呀！
No, that measuring cup has always been for urine.
不，这个量杯一直都是用来测尿的。
You had time to make a label for everything in this apartment including the label maker,
你有时间给公寓里的所有东西标标签甚至连标记笔都标注了，
but you didn't have ten seconds to make one that said "urine cup"?
难道你就没有哪怕10秒钟时间来标注"尿液杯"？
It's right here on the bottom.
标在杯底了。
I guess I owe the betty crocker company a letter of apology.
我想我欠贝蒂妙厨公司一个道歉。
Oh, dear god. Leonard! Leonard, I'm sick! Leonard, Leonard, I'm sick! Leonard, Leonard.
噢我的天啊。兰纳德！兰纳德我生病了！
Leonard, my comforter fell down, and my sinuses hurt when I bend over.
兰纳德我的被子掉地上了，而且我弯腰时鼻窦会痛。
Leonard, where are you?
兰纳德你在哪里？
I'm at work.
我在工作。
At 6:30 in the morning?
早上6:30？
Yes. On sunday? Yes. Why?
是的。星期天？是的。为什么？
They asked me to come in.
他们叫我过来的。
But I didn't hear the phone ring.
但我没有听到电话铃声。
They texted me.
他们发短信给我的。
Well, as I predicted, I am sick.
好吧，正如我预言的我生病了。
My fever has been tracking up exponentially since 2:00 A.M.And I am producing sputum at an alarming rate.
我从凌晨2点开始跟踪测试体温，而且我的痰液剧增。
No kidding? No, not only that, it has shifted from clear to milky green.
不是开玩笑吧？不是，不仅如此，痰液还从透明色变成了奶绿色。
All right, well, get some rest and drink plenty of fluids.
那么好好休息多喝水。
What else would I drink, gases, solids, ionized plasma?
我还能喝什么？汽油？固体？血浆？
Drink whatever you want.
喝你想喝的吧。
I want soup.
我想喝汤。
Then make soup.
那么去煮汤呀。
We don't have soup.
我们没有汤。
I'm at work, Sheldon.
我在工作谢尔顿。
Is that a dog?
是狗在叫？
Yes. In the lab?
是的。在实验室里？
Yes. They're training dogs to operate the centrifuge for when they need dogs to operate the centrifuge for blind scientists. I have to go.
是的。他们在训练狗来操作离心机，用于……让狗来帮盲人科学家操作离心机。我得挂了。
Howard, it's the phone!
霍华德，电话响了！
I know it's the phone, ma, I hear the phone!
我知道电话响了妈，我听到了！
Well, who's calling at this ungodly hour? ! I don't know!
谁这么不道德这时候打电话过来？！我不知道！
Well, ask them why they're calling at this ungodly hour!
那么问问看是谁这么不道德！
How can I ask them when I'm talking to you? !
我正在和你说话你要我怎么问呀？！
Hello. Howard, it's Leonard. Code milky green.
你好。霍华德，是兰纳德，代号奶绿色。
Dear lord, not milky green.
老天不会吧？奶绿色？
Affirmative. With fever.
已经确认，还有体温。
Who's on the phone? ! It's Leonard!
谁的电话？！是兰纳德！
Why is he calling? ! Sheldon's sick!
他打电话来干嘛？！谢尔顿生病了！
Were you playing with him? !
你有和他一起玩吗？！
For god's sake, ma, I'm 26 years old! Excuse me, Mr. Grownup!
天哪老妈，我已经26岁了！抱歉，成人先生！
What do you want for breakfast? ! Chocolate milk and eggos, please!
早餐要吃什么？！巧克力牛奶和鸡蛋！
Howard, listen to me. Hang on. Call waiting. No, don't, don't !
巧克力牛奶和鸡蛋！霍华德听我说。等等有来电。不，不要接不要接！
Hello. Howard, I'm sick.
你好。霍华德，我生病了。
Howard's sleeping. This is his mother! Why are you calling at this ungodly hour?
霍华德在睡觉我是他妈妈！你干嘛这么不道德！这时候打电话过来？
I need soup. Then call your own mother!
我要喝汤。那就打电话给你妈妈！
It was Sheldon. I tried to stop you.
是谢尔顿打来的。我试着阻止你的。
It's my own fault. I forgot the protocol we put in place after the great ear infection of 06.
我的过失。我忘了06年那次"耳朵感染"时我们用的代号是什么了。
You call Koothrappali. We need to find a place to lay low for the next 18 to 24 hours. Stand by.
你通知库萨帕里，我们得找个地方躲18-24小时。等一下。
Ma, can my friends come over?
妈妈我朋友能来过夜吗？
I just had the carpet steamed!
我刚刚才熨了地毯！
That's a negatory. But there's a Planet of the Apes marathon at the New Art today.
不行。Nuart剧院今天有《决战猩球》的马拉松式放映。
Five movies, two hours apiece. it's a start.
5部电影，2小时一部。只是道开胃菜。
Homeless, crazy guy at table 18.
无家可归的疯子在18号桌。
No, just crazy. Sheldon, what are you doing here?
不只是个疯子。谢尔顿你来这里干什么？
I'm sick. Thank you very much.
我生病了，真是太感谢你了。
How could you have gotten if from me? I'm not sick.
我怎么可能传染给你？我又没生病。
You're a carrier. All these people here are doomed. You're doomed!
你是个病毒携带者。这里的所有人都会感染。你们会被感染！
Sheldon, what do you want? I want soup. Why didn't you just have soup at home?
谢尔顿你要做什么？我要喝汤。为什么不在家里喝汤？
Penny, I have an IQ of 187.
佩妮我有187的智商。
Don't you imagine that if there were a way for me to have had soup at home, I would have thought of it?
你不觉得如果家里有汤喝，我肯定会想到吗？
You can have soup delivered.
你可以叫外卖。
I did not think of that. Clearly, febrile delirium is setting in.
这我倒没有想到。很明显，发烧已经开始导致精神错乱。
Please bring me some soup while I still understand what a spoon is for.
请在我还能辨认调羹的用处之前给我上道汤。
Okay, what kind of soup do you want?
好吧你要什么汤？
Well, my mother used to make me this split pea with little frankfurter slices and these homemade croutons.
我妈妈以前给我做豌豆汤，配点法兰克福香肠片和自制的烤面包片。
We have chicken, tortilla and potato leek.
我们有鸡汤玉米汤罗宋汤。
Could I get any of those with little frankfurter slices and homemade croutons? No.
能给我任意一种配有法兰克福香肠片和自制的烤面包片的汤吗？没有。
Then surprise me.
那给我点惊喜吧！
Would you call that "moss green" or "forest green"?
你们称这种颜色是"苔绿"还是"森林绿"？
Look at this. Everyone went chimp.
瞧瞧，每个人都进化成了黑猩猩。
I'd like to point out that I voted for orangutan, but you shouted me down.
我得指出我说了扮猩猩的，可你却对我大吼大叫。