Ross: Hey, remember when I had a monkey?
还记得我之前养过猴子吗？
Chandler: Yeah.
是啊。
Ross: Yeah, what, what was I thinking?
我在想什么？
Joey: Hey! So, what's with the 20 percent tip? Did I do something wrong?
小费怎么才百分之二十？我做错事了吗？
Chandler: Twenty percent is a pretty generous tip Joe.
百分之二十很大方了。
Joey: You know what's more generous than that? ! Fifty percent! You know what's even more generous than that? !
你知道几分更大方？百分之五十！你知道怎样更大方？！
Chandler: I see where you're going!
我知道你想说什么了！
Ross: What's up with the greed Joe?
你干嘛这么贪？
Joey: All right, look, I'm sorry you guys, but it's just that I gotta get these new head shots made. And they're really expensive, you know? I'm down to like three! Well, actually two 'cause one of 'em I kind of blackened in some teeth Why did I do that? !
好吧，对不起，只是……我得照新的大头照，但是好贵！我只剩三张了，其实是两张，有一张的牙齿，被我涂黑……我为什么那么做啊？！
Ross: Well, is isn't there something you can do to earn a little extra money? I mean, can't can't you pick up, I don't know, an extra shift here?
你不能设法多赚一点吗？例如在这里多轮一班？
Phoebe: Or, you know, I used to beg for money. Of course it helps if you've got, you know, a little of this going on. Wow! I still have it!
或是我以前当过乞丐，如果能这样更有用，我现在还会！
Ross: Oh, wait! Wait! Don't you have an audition today? Yeah! Maybe you'll get that job!
等等，你今天不是有试镜？也许你会入选！
Joey: Oh, hahaha! Ooh! Wait a minute, I used to get medical experiments down on me all the time!
等等，我以前常参加医学实验！
Chandler: Ah, finally an explanation.
难怪变成这样。
Joey: Oh no! I used to get paid for all kinds of medical stuff, remember? Let's see uh, well I don't wanna donate sperm again.
不是，我以前常靠这个赚钱，记得吗？
Joey: I really prefer doing that at the home office you know? Ooh ooh, maybe they want like some of my blood or or spit or something, huh?
我想想，我不想再捐精了，那种事在家做比较好，也许医院会要我的血或口水？
Gunther: Joey!
乔伊？
Joey: Yeah?
怎样？
Gunther: What did I tell you about talking to your friends while you're working?
我说工作时聊天会怎样？
Joey: Uhh, do it?
干得好？
Gunther: That guy's been waiting for his coffee for ten minutes! He's complained about you three times!
那个人等咖啡等了10分钟，他抱怨了你三次！
Joey: Well, where was I?
我讲到哪里？
Ross: Hi!
嘿！
Phoebe: Hey!
嘿！
Ross: Hey, what've you guys been up to?
你们在忙什么？
Phoebe: Ohh! We went to a self defense class today!
我们今天去学防身术！
Ross: Wow!
哇噢！
Rachel: Yeah, kicking a guy in the crotch all morning really takes it out of ya!
对，整个早上都在踢男人的胯部，感觉像在报复你！
Joey: Takes it out of you?
报复你？
Phoebe: No, now, we can kick anybody's ass!
现在我们谁都能修理！
Rachel: Yeah!
没错！
Ross: After one class? I don't think so.
才一堂课？不会吧。
Rachel: What? You wanna see me self defend myself? ! Go over there and pretend you're a sexual predator! Go on! I dare ya!
你想试试我的防身术吗？现在就假装你是性侵犯者，有种就去！
Ross: Of course you could defend yourself from an attack you know is coming, that's not enough. Look, I study karatay for a long time, and there's a concept you should really be familiar with. It's what the Japanese call unagi.
你当然可以抵挡已知的攻击，但那样还不够。我学了很久的空手道，有个概念你们一定要了解，日文叫做unagi。
Rachel: Isn't that a kind of sushi?
那不是一种寿司吗？
Ross: No, it's a concept!
那是一种概念！
Phoebe: Yeah it is! It is! It's freshwater eel!
是寿司没错，那是鳗鱼！
Ross: All right, maybe it means that too...
或许是同一个字……
Rachel: Ohh! I would kill for a salmon skin roll right now!
我现在好想吃鲑鱼寿司！
Ross: Y’ know what? Fine! Get attacked! I don’t even care!
好，被攻击活该，我不在乎！
Phoebe: Come on Ross. We’re sorry. Please tell us what it is.
罗斯，对不起，快告诉我们。
Ross: Unagi is a state of total awareness. Okay? Only by achieving true unagi can you be prepared for any danger that may befall you!
Unagi是一种全知的境界，只有达到真正的unagi，才能应付任何可能的危险。
Phoebe: You mean in case someone is trying to steal your bamboo sleeping mat or your kettle of fish?
你是说有人要偷你的竹席，或鱼壶的时候吗？
Ross: All I’m saying is, it’s one thing being prepared for an attack against like each other; whole another story being prepared for an attack, I don’t know, like a surprise! !
我是说应付彼此攻击是一回事，应付偷袭又是另一回事，我不知道，比如……意外！！
Ross: All right, you know that was coming, but that doesn't mean you have unagi.
好，这次你们料到了，但不表示你们有unagi。
Rachel: Ooh! You know what? If we made reservations, we could have unagi in about a half hour.
你知道吗？现在订位，半小时后就能吃到鳗鱼。
Chandler: Hey, hey, is Monica here?
莫妮卡在吗？
Phoebe: No.
不在。
Ross: No.
不在。
Chandler: Ok, look, I need your help, I don't know what to get her for Valentine's Day.
帮个忙，我不知道该送什么情人节礼物。
Rachel: Well, Valentine's Day was two weeks ago, so I wouldn't get her a calendar!
情人节已经过两星期了，所以我不会送她日历！
Chandler: She was working on Valentine's Day so we're celebrating it tonight.
她那天要上班，所以我们今天庆祝。
Joey: Ohh, hey! Why don't you book a date for both of you at one of those romantic spas?
何不去给你们一起订个浪漫的SPA？
Phoebe: Ooh, Joey, that's actually a really good idea!
乔伊，这个主意很棒！
Joey: Yeah, and of course, crotchless panties.
还有胯下开洞的内裤。
Chandler: Well, as appealing as that does sound to her boyfriend and her brother, I can't do that, we promised we'd make each other gifts this year.
虽然她的男朋友觉得很诱人……她哥哥也是，但我们说好今年要自己做礼物。
Rachel: Aw, I love that.
我喜欢。
Phoebe: You guys!
真好！
Joey: You can't make crotchless panties? You take, you take a pair of scissors and you just cut...
你不会做开洞的内裤？拿一把剪刀给它剪……
Rachel: Ok ok ok! So, making things. That sounds like so much fun.
好！好！好！做礼物，听起来好好玩。
Chandler: Yeah, I thought so too until I paper mached one of my eyes shut.
我本来也这么认为，直到我的眼睛糊到纸黏土。
Phoebe: Oh, I love paper mache! What did you make?
我喜欢纸黏土，你做了什么？
Chandler: I made a…!
我做了！
Phoebe: What is that?
那是什么？
Chandler: Nothing!
什么也不是！
Ross: So what are you gonna do?
你要怎么办？
Chandler: Well, have you guys made anything that maybe I can take credit for?
你们有没有做什么能借给我用？
Phoebe: Ohh! I have! I have! I started making these little sock bunnies! Oh for crying out loud!
我有！我有！我做了袜子兔！了不起吧！
Rachel: Hey, wait a minute! That is my sock!
等等，那是我的袜子！
Phoebe: Now, it's you little bunny friend.
现在它是你的兔兔朋友。
Chandler: Okay...This, this actually is a...
好这是一个！
Monica: Hey!
嘿！
Chandler: Hey! Honey, can I ask you a question about the Valentine's Day gifts?
嘿！我能不能问你情人节礼物的事？
Monica: Oh, yeah.
可以啊。
Chandler: Do we have to make the entire thing?
全都要自己做吗？
Monica: Yes! Why, did you you forget to make yours?
当然，你忘了做吗？
Chandler: Of course, of course not. I just have to uh, go over to the place where I I made it and then pick pick it up.
当然没有。我只是得去做的地方拿回来。
Monica: Ok. Ok, I can't wait! This is gonna be the best Valentine's Day ever! I can't believe it! Make the presents! Make the presents!
好。我好期待，这会是最棒的情人节！我居然忘了，要做礼物！
Chandler: What?
什么？
Monica: I'm just so excited to make the presents! Shoot!
要做礼物好兴奋喔！见鬼！
Joey: Hi uh, I'm Joey Tribbiani and with all due respect I'd like to donate some fluids.
你好，我是乔伊崔比亚尼，我想捐赠一些体液。
Receptionist: We're actually at the end of one of our research cycles, so we're not looking for applicants right now.
我们的研究刚告一段落，目前没有在找人。
Joey: Oh that's too bad. Kinda been saving up. Uh, you sure there's no studies I coulds participate in?
真可惜，我存了一阵子了，真的没有我能参加的研究？
Receptionist: Well, here's a schedule of what's coming up.
这是接下来的一览表。
Joey: Thanks. Well but this one starts now.
谢谢。这个已经开始了。
Receptionist: Oh that one is available now, but only identical twins are eligible. It's a twins study.
没错，但只限双胞胎，那是双胞胎研究。
Joey: But it's $2,000.
但是有2千块钱。
Receptionist: Sorry.
抱歉。
Joey: Well how about this one? Testing the effects of Joey Tribbiani on an attractive nurse receptionist.
那，乔伊崔比亚尼对美女接待的影响力实验呢？
Receptionist: We already got the results back on that one, and they're not good.
结果已经出来了，不太理想。
Ross: DANGER! DANGER!
危险！危险！
Rachel: What the hell was that? !
你搞什么啊？！
Ross: A lesson, in the importance of unagi.
让你们认识unagi的重要。
Phoebe: Ohh, you're a freak!
你变态！
Ross: Perhaps. Now I'm curious, at what point during those girlish screams would you have begun to kick my ass?
或许吧，我很好奇，你们那样哀哀叫，什么时候才要修理我？
Rachel: All right, so we weren't prepared!
好吧，我们没有准备！
Ross: I'm sorry I'd to take such drastic measures to make my point, but I look, I just want you guys to be safe. DANGER! Ahhh, huh? Unagi.
抱歉，用这种方法传达我的重点，我是为你们的安全着想危险！Unagi。
Joey: 2,000 bucks is a lot of money. Well, I wish I had a twin. Where could I find someone who looks exactly like me?
2千块好多，真想有个双胞胎兄弟，哪里才有跟我长得一样的人？
Chandler: Hey.
嘿。
Ross: Chandler. I sensed it was you.
钱德，我感觉到是你。
Chandler: What? !
什么？！
Ross: Unagi. I'm always aware.
Unagi，我明察秋毫。
Chandler: Ok, are you aware that, unagi is an eel?
你知道unagi是鳗鱼吗？
Ross: What's up?
什么事？
Chandler: I can't figure out what to make Monica.
我不知道该为莫妮卡做什么礼物。
Ross: Oh, why don't you make her one of your little jokes.
你可以讲个笑话。
Chandler: I'm going crazy! Ok? Do you have any thing around here that looks homemade?
我快急死了，好吗？你有没有看起来像自制的东西？
Ross: Oh, you know what? She'd she'd love this. Uh, it's an exact replica of Apollo 8. I made it in the sixth grade.
这个她一定会喜欢！这是阿波罗八号的模型。我六年级做的。
Chandler: Yeah, I guess I could use that. I could say uh, your love sends me to the moon.
这个可以。我可以说你的爱让我飞上月亮。
Ross: Yeah yeah, except Apollo 8 didn't actually land on the moon. But you you you could write umm, your love lets me orbit the moon twice and return safely.
可是阿波罗八号没有登陆月球，不过你可以写，你的爱让我绕行月球两圈后顺利返航。
Chandler: Wait a minute, I can't give this to her.
我不能送这个。
Ross: Why not?
为什么？
Chandler: Because it says ‘Captain Ross’ on the side and it says ‘I hate Monica’ on the bottom.
因为旁边写着“罗斯队长”，底下写着“我讨厌莫妮卡”.
Ross: Oh.
噢。
Phoebe and Rachel: DANGER!
危险！
Rachel: Ahhh, salmon skin roll.
鲑鱼寿司。
Chandler: Ok. Ok. Yes honey, I've made it myself. I can't do it. I can't do it. Oh! Oh! A mixtape! A mixtape! !
好……没错，这是我自己做的，我剪不下去，我剪不下去，自己录的合辑！
Chandler: Ok! Hi! Uh, you ready to exchange gifts?
可以交换礼物了吗？
Monica: Sure! Ok, you go first.
当然，你先。
Chandler: Ok, come here! Come here, come here.
好，过来！
Monica: Ok!
好！
Chandler: Ok, now, it's not wrapped because I just, just finished it.
我没有包装，因为我刚完成。
Monica: Ok.
好。
Chandler: But I made you a tape of what I think are all romantic songs.
我录了一卷浪漫情歌给你。
Monica: Oh, what a great gift! Is The Way You Look Tonight on it? !
好棒的礼物！有“你今晚的模样”吗？！（爵士名曲）