5.Pork Ramen Candy
5.猪肉拉面味糖果

Ahhh, the comfort of a nice hot bowl of ramen on a cold winter's day. The only problem with ramen is that it's not super-portable. One company in Japan has figured out a way to solve this problem. If you are picturing some sort of Thermos for soup-on-the-go, sadly, this isn't the solution they came up with. Instead, the company is offering hard candy that tastes like pork ramen.
啊，冬天能吃上一碗超赞的热拉面真的好爽啊。拉面唯一的缺陷就是不易携带，但是日本一家公司想出了解决办法。你脑海中出现的大概是保温杯那样的东西，但是，他们想出的办法有点不太一样——这家公司发明了一种味道像猪肉拉面的硬糖。
How the heck did this happen? Nissen, a mail-order company in Japan, teamed up with the Pine Co. candy company to sponsor a contest where customers proposed new candy flavors. Out of the approximately 6,000 contest entries, contest judges selected "tonkatsu ramen" as the winner, apparently because it was "bold and innovative." Maybe future judges should assign a lower rating to "bold" and a higher rating to "appetizing" in evaluating contest entries going forward? Or maybe the judges knew their audience; the initial run of the candy, which is available through Nissen's website for about $3/pack, sold out immediately. One possible explanation for the candy's popularity: the candies look like any other hard candy, so they are ideal for pranking anyone expecting their sweets to be…not gross.
这是怎么一回事呢？日本一家邮购公司，尼森，与松糖果有限公司一起赞助了一场比赛，比赛内容是让客户提出新的糖果口味。在大约6000个参赛作品中，大赛评委选定“猪排拉面”为赢家，因为它“大胆创新”。也许以后的评委应该把“创新”的要求设低一些，而“美味”的要求设高一点？或者，也许这些评委很了解他们的观众吧，这种糖刚开始卖的时候，尼森网站上的价格大约每包3美元，刚上架就卖光了。而其流行的原因大概是：这种糖看起来和别的硬糖一样，所以非常适合那些爱搞恶作剧的人，毕竟看上去没那么恶心。

4.Chocolate-Covered Squid
4.巧克力脆皮鱿鱼

Hey, we love chocolate as much as anyone (probably more). But it does seem like this zeal for dipping everything and anything in chocolate is getting a little out of control. Chocolate-covered liquorice or chocolate-dipped gummy bears wouldn't be among our top choices for chocolate consumption vectors, but they have their enthusiasts. And we'd be tempted to say, "To each his own," but that's how the world ends up with chocolate-covered squid.
很多人都很喜欢巧克力，但想把所有东西都泡在巧克力里就有点离谱了。或许我们不喜欢巧克力甘草和巧克力软糖熊，但是它们还算有市场。我们都知道萝卜青菜各有所爱，但巧克力脆皮鱿鱼这种东西真的会毁天灭地啊！
Technically, the product, which is offered by Hawaii's Big Island Candies isn't actually squid. Don't breathe a sigh of relief just yet, though. It's actually ika, a local Hawaiian snack of dried, seasoned cuttlefish strips (basically, really stinky squid jerky), which the company's employees painstakingly coat with chocolate. Some candy stores offers windows through which you can watch taffy being pulled or caramel apples being dipped. Big Island Candies offers the chance to watch dried squid go for a chocolate bath. A 3 oz. bag of the stuff will cost you $8.75, plus the inescapable pain of knowing that you voluntary consumed chocolate-covered squid. Proving that some folks will eat anything, the company's owner says the product has been "extremely well-received" and notes "there are times during the year…where we can barely keep it on the shelf." Ugh. We can barely keep this one in our imaginations, let alone in our stomachs.
从技术上讲，夏威夷的大岛糖果店生产的这款产品用的不是真鱿鱼。不过你也别高兴得太早，它用的实际上是ika，这是夏威夷当地的一种干货，调好味的墨鱼条（本质上就是很臭的鱿鱼干），该公司的员工精心地给它涂上了巧克力。有些糖果店会提供窗口让顾客观看做太妃糖、焦糖苹果的过程，大岛糖果店也提供这样的服务，你可以看他们用巧克力泡鱿鱼干的过程。花费8.75美元，你会得到一袋3盎司的巧克力脆皮鱿鱼，还有自愿尝试这种食物所带来的不可避免的痛苦。巧克力脆皮鱿鱼证明有些人什么都敢吃，该公司的老板说，这款产品“非常受欢迎”，“每年总有些时候我们会对它爱不释手……”额，这种东西我们想都不敢想，别说吃了。

3.Bubble-Gum Flavored String Cheese
3.泡泡糖口味的奶酪条

Cheese is pretty delicious as it is. Does cheese really need any more "innovations" to become more appealing? The folks at the Wisconsin Center for Dairy Research seem to think so, but if the "fun flavors" they are devising for string cheese are any indication, we don't want any of the monstrosities this lab of horrors is creating!
奶酪本身就很好吃，它还需要什么“创新”来吸引消费者吗？大概威斯康星乳品研究中心的员工觉得，需要。但要是他们想在奶酪条的口味上玩出些花样，我们只希望搞出来的东西不要太恐怖。
The first targets for this frankencheese are the young. In an effort to make string cheese more "kid-friendly" (because apparently there's a big group of kids none of us have ever met out there balking at regular ol' string cheese), researchers produced string cheese in a range of revolting-sounding flavors, including green apple, banana, cotton candy, and bubble gum. Additionally, colors were added to the milk to make the cheese "vibrant." Luckily, this revolutionary string cheese doesn't seem to have made it beyond the testing phase…yet (which is why we're unable to track down any actual photographic evidence of it, which is probably by design). One master cheesemaker who has had the opportunity to try the string cheese described it as "quite good," saying that, "It combines 'sweet and salty' which is a very popular combination in snack foods right now." Um. No. We hate to be buzzkills, but if your buzz involves cotton candy string cheese, it probably has it coming. We're keeping our fingers crossed that the world at large never needs to know the horrors of vibrant-colored bubble gum-flavored cheese. Think of the children.
这种转基因奶酪的目标受众是年轻人。为了使奶酪更“适合儿童”（因为小朋友都不太喜欢普通的奶酪条），研究人员制作了一系列不同口味的奶酪条，这些口味听上去很令人作呕，包括青苹果、香蕉、棉花糖、泡泡糖。此外，牛奶中还加入了不同颜色的色素，让奶酪“更鲜艳”。幸运的是，这项奶酪条的“改革”停在了测试阶段（所以我们没能找到实物图）。一位奶酪制作大师品尝过这些奶酪条，他说：“非常好，它融合了甜味和咸味，这是现在很流行的一种口味搭配。”额，我们都不想扫你的兴的，但要是你想糟蹋我们心爱的奶酪条，那就保不准了。我们祈祷，愿“色彩鲜艳的泡泡糖口味奶酪条”永远不要出现在这世界上。想想孩子们吧。

2.Fried Chicken Nail Polish
2.炸鸡味指甲油

Yes, this is a thing. No, we can't believe it either. Apparently, seeking to underscore how "finger-lickin' good" the company's fried chicken is, KFC's Hong Kong operation launched nail polish that tastes like KFC fried chicken. Let's all let this one sink in for a minute. Somehow, somewhere, marketing folks out there thought, "Hey, you know what will get people to buy our chicken? Nail polish that tastes like our chicken!" And no one stood up and said "No!" or "Eww!" or even "Maybe let's just try giving out some samples of the chicken first?"
对，确实有这么个东西，我们也不敢相信。香港肯德基为了体现自家的炸鸡好吃得让你舔手指，推出了一款指甲油，味道就像肯德基的炸鸡。来，我们好好理解一下。某时某地，某营销人员想到：“嘿，你知道怎样让大家都来买我们的鸡吗？指甲油啊，尝起来和我们的炸鸡味道一样的指甲油！”然后竟然没人站起来说“不！”“恶心！”或者“也许我们应该先让人们试吃我们的样品？”
Launching fried-chicken flavored nail polish wasn't just a whimsical spur-of-the-moment thing—it was a serious process. KFC's ad agency, Ogilvy & Mather, worked with the McCormick spice company, which supplies KFC's secret recipe of herbs and spices, to get the polish to taste and smell just right. That's right. Some poor food scientist at McCormick was forced to concoct chicken-flavored nail polish. The formula is made of all-natural ingredients, so you can lick the polish, which is available in "Original" and "Hot and Spicy" flavors, to your heart's content. John Koay, who heads up KFC's Hong Kong marketing, described the impulse behind the campaign, saying, "It made total sense to be at the end of everyone's fingertips." To which we say: Not like this, KFC. NOT. LIKE. THIS.
推出炸鸡味的指甲油可不是一个异想天开、一时冲动的事，这是一个很严肃的过程。肯德基的广告代理商奥美集团，与味可美香料公司，提供肯德基的草药香料秘方）合作，将指甲油的味道和气味调得刚刚好。味可美公司一些可怜的食品科学家被迫调制炸鸡味的指甲油。该配方用的全是天然成分，所以这种指甲油可食用，有原味和香辣两种口味供你选择。肯德基的香港区负责人John Koay说，这个创意是想“让所有感觉流连于指尖”。我们只想说：别这样，肯德基，别，这，样。

1.Doritos Mountain Dew
1.多力多滋味的激浪

Since PepsiCo owns a number of food and beverage brands, it was only a matter of time before they started looking at crossover opportunities. And the link between the target audience for Doritos and Mountain Dew is pretty clear—both target young men who are seeking " extreme" (meaning highly artificial and unhealthy) flavor experiences. And if you look carefully at the growing relationship between the two brands, you can see signs of the horrors to come. In 2008, the company offered Doritos Quest, Doritos chips coated with a sweet mystery flavor that was later revealed to be Mountain Dew. And in early 2014, the brands collaborated on a promotion tied into the release of a video game in the Call of Duty series.
百事旗下有多个餐饮品牌，所以跨界合作也不算个奇怪的事。多力多滋（调味墨西哥玉米片）和激浪（柠檬可乐口味的碳酸饮料）之间的联系很明确——受众都是寻求“极端”味觉体验（通常是人造不健康食品）的年轻人。仔细观察，你就能发现这两个品牌之间的关系越来越密切，也就能预见“恐怖”的到来。2008年，公司提出“多力多滋新探索”，推出的多力多滋味道甜美而神秘，后来证实其实就是激浪的味道。2014年初，两品牌又合作，一起出现在《使命召唤》系列游戏中。
But even with these signals, the world still wasn't ready when the company began testing Doritos-flavored Mountain Dew on US college campuses. Because while Mountain Dew-flavored Doritos were unappealing, for some reason, Doritos-flavored Mountain Dew amps up the gross factor to a whole new level. One guinea pig said the soda, "wasn't that disgusting…It tasted like orange with a Doritos aftertaste." With that kind of ringing endorsement, we can see why Pepsi apparently didn't take this combo past the test stage. But don't be lulled into a false sense of security—the risk that soda that tastes like Doritos could one day invade grocery shelves everywhere is a threat as long as these brands remain under the same corporate umbrella.
但即使已经有了这些预兆，多力多滋味的激浪作为试验品出现在美国大学校园里时，整个世界还是震惊了。之前激浪味的多力多滋没什么吸引力，而这多力多滋味的激浪……达到了一个全新的境界。尝过的人说：“也不是那么糟糕……尝上去像橘子，回味又是多力多滋的味道。”得到这样的评价，我们也能理解为什么百事没让这项产品通过测试阶段。但别因此陷入一种虚假的安全感，只要这些品牌还在同一家公司的保护伞下，可能某一天，多力多滋味的苏打水就出现在各地杂货店的货架上。