1. A day without sunshine is like night.
没有阳光的白日如同黑夜。（快乐生活每一天）

2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
换句话说，五指亦有不同。（大千世界，无奇不有。宽容心对待）

3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
百分之四十二点七的数据是现场编造的。

4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
百分之九十九的律师是毁坏律师界名声的大老鼠。（律师界就是一锅老鼠汤）

5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
永远记住：你认识的人中定会有一半居于平均线以下。（总有人处于低端）

6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
6最后笑的人思维最慢。（最后笑的人不一定因为他是强人，也许还有其他原因）

7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
绝望仅仅是没有激情的愤怒。

8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
早起的鸟儿或许有虫吃，不过第二只老鼠才会得到夹子中的奶酪。（韬光养晦，永不出头）

9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
养育细菌。他们是某些人唯一的培养物。（极端吝啬的代名词）

10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
问心无愧也许是坏记性的表现。

11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
改变无可避免，自动贩卖机出来的货物除外。

12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
假如你认为没有人关心你，试试拖欠一下应付款。（意见真的不错喔）

13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
1有多少人相信特异致动？举起我的手来。

14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
好吧，那么黑暗的速度呢？（光速与“黑速”到底谁会更大一点呢）

15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
当所有东西都朝你运动而来，那说明你走错了道。（众人独醒我独醉）

16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
勤奋工作会在远期得到回报，而懒惰现期就会有所收获。

17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
假如没有酒鬼的话大海要深多少啊！

18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines
鹰翔九天，但是鼬鼠从不会卷入飞机引擎。

19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
假如你两次被吓得半死，会发生什么事呢？

20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
通灵之人为什么还要问你的姓名呢？

21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, "What the hell happened?"
每个老年人心里都会有一个年轻人在问：“怎么会发生这档子破事？”

22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
只需记住——假如这个世界不是一张网，我们都会掉落。

23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
光速快于音速。这就是为什么你在听到他人的发言后才会意识到他们的存在。

24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapenos.
生活并不太像一盒巧克力。它更像一罐墨西哥辣椒。