JUDY WOODRUFF: And now to the latest in our Brief But Spectacular series, where we ask interesting people to share their passions. Ashley Ford is a Brooklyn-based writer and host of the podcast Profile by BuzzFeed News. She is currently writing her memoir, Somebody's Daughter.
ASHLEY FORD, Author, Somebody's Daughter: The truth of the matter is, I have probably been writing about me longer than I want to admit. I wasn't really allowed to have diaries or journals as a kid. My mother thought it was inappropriate for kids to have secrets. But I still did secretly, through writing poems or writing stories that were definitely allegorical to my life. My upbringing was very working-class. My mom was a single parent of four children. My father went to prison for rape when I was around 3 months old, and he didn't get out again until I was 30. During that time that he was in prison, he wrote me a lot of letters, telling me that I was the best person in the world and that I was his favorite girl and that he loved me more than he had ever loved anyone in his entire life. I spent quite a bit of my childhood not knowing why my dad was in prison. And those letters became my self-esteem. My dad was the person saying the kindest things to me, even though he was far away. And it counted for a lot. I'm just getting to know him. I'm only 31. It's been tough to talk with my dad and to be brutally honest with each other and get to know each other in this way, because we both feel really close to each other, and we both feel like we do know each other. And the truth is, we don't. One of the things that happened after my dad and I got into our first argument was that I got off the phone, and my fiance said, Are you OK? And I giggled. And he said, Are you OK? And I said, I just got into a fight with my dad, because it was the first time in my life that I was a girl who got into an argument with her father. I think I'm always going to be grappling with the fact that my father committed a rape. I'm always going to be grappling with that, because I was sexually assaulted when I was 13, which is something that I didn't tell my dad until after he was released. There's always this question in your mind when someone does something like that of, could they do it again? I have absolutely talked to my father about these things, but I also have to think about the fact that my dad went to prison two weeks before he turned 21. And my dad's a 50-year old man now. And my dad has done therapy, and my dad has done a lot of things to figure out why he did what he did and to become a better person. I want to believe in my dad, and I'm trying to believe in my dad. And I'm stepping out on hope and grappling with all the complications that come with that, so that, hopefully, you know, I will have more to say about what it means to be a person who forgives. My name is Ashley C. Ford, and this is my Brief But Spectacular take on love and risk.
JUDY WOODRUFF: And you can find additional Brief But Spectacular episodes on our Web site, PBS.org/NewsHour/Brief.
He launches a frontal attack on working-class organizations.
2.honest with 对...诚实
Have the courage to be honest with yourself and about yourself
3.far away 遥远
You can only judge how high something is when you know how far away it is
4.step out 离开
I don't regret stepping out of the security of marriage.
Poor self-esteem is at the centre of many of the difficulties we experience in our relationships.
朱迪·伍德拉夫：欢迎收看本期的《简短而精彩》，我们会请有意思的人分享他们热爱的事情。阿什利·福特是布鲁克林区的一名作家，他也是嗡嗡喂Profile栏目在播客上的主持人 。她现在正在撰写回忆录《大家闺秀》 。
阿什利·福特，作家，《大家闺秀》作者：事实是——我写这本书的时间比我公布的还要久。我小时候，家里人不允许我写日记 。因为我妈妈觉得小孩子是不能有秘密的 。但我还是会偷偷写日记，将日记藏在诗里和故事里，来影射我自己的生活 。我是在工薪阶级的家庭里长大的，我母亲是单亲，我有3个兄弟姐妹 。我父亲因为强奸罪而入狱，那时候我还只有大约3个月大 。我30岁的时候，父亲才出狱 。父亲坐牢的时候，给我写了很多信 。他告诉我，我是世界上最棒的人 。他还告诉我说，我是他最得意的女儿，他爱我胜过他爱任何人 。我整个同年都想不明白父亲为何会在监狱里生活 。但父亲的信让我颇有些膨胀 。从没有人像父亲那样慈爱地跟我说话，虽然父亲说这些话的时候并不在我身边 。父亲的话与我而言，分量重于泰山 。我以后有大把时间慢慢了解父亲，我才31岁呀 。我和父亲之间的交流不是很顺畅，我们很难彻底把话说开，而这样的方式又不利于我们了解彼此，因为我们心里彼此亲近，好像对彼此十分了解 。但事实并非如此 。我和父亲第一次争吵之后，我居然挂断了电话 。然后，我的未婚夫说，“你没事吧？”我咧嘴笑了 。未婚夫又说：你还好吧？我回答说，我刚刚跟父亲吵架了，这是我第一次跟父亲他老人家吵架 。我以为我会一直走不出父亲是个强奸犯的魔障中 。我会一直困在这个魔障中，因为我13岁的时候受过性骚扰 。这件事，我父亲出狱后，我才告诉他 。人们对于强奸犯总是心存一个问题：他们会改吗？这些想法，我都跟父亲说过 。但我也必须要考虑一个事实：父亲还不到21岁就进监狱了 。而且他已年过半百 。我父亲做过治疗，他做了很多努力，想要弄明白当时为什么做了那样的事，他想成为更好的人 。我想相信父亲，我竭力相信他 。我没有放弃希望，虽然心里百味杂陈 。我希望，通过这样的方式能够对如何做一个宽恕他人的人有更深的体会 。我是阿什利·福特，这是我本期关于爱和危机的《简短而精彩》 。