周六夜现场编剧乔斯特寄语2020毕业生的演讲(2)
日期:2021-01-12 16:58

(单词翻译:单击)

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Don't google someone you're starting to date.

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不要用谷歌搜索你要约会的人GW!Jn*q&YXdIiS

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Don't google them. Don't stalk them on social media.

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不要搜索,不要在社交媒体上跟踪他们Do-b#iJl^w

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It's creepy to learn about someone on the Internet before you learn about them in person.

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在你当面了解某人之前,先在网上找有关他们的信息,这令人感到毛骨悚然-ZB%e;H|H%#*RH

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There's no mystery, there's no romance.

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没有了神秘感,也不浪漫%6%D8n!2zLk.&7vh

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I mean, if I had googled someone in advance, I never would have spent three wonderful years with Carole Baskin.

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我的意思是,如果我事先在谷歌上搜索某人的信息,我就永远不会和卡罗尔·巴斯金一起度过美好的三年aS%pQsldc5

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If someone tells you, "I'm a self-made man," that person is probably on the verge of a psychotic breakdown.

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如果有人告诉你,“我是个独力奋斗的男人”,那人很可能要精神崩溃了#MMOSw8ZU)

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Especially since he just yelled, "I'm a self-made man!" out of the window of a 1995 Buick.

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特别是当他从一辆95年的别克车窗朝外喊:“我是个独力奋斗的男人!”

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Notice, by the way, it's always a self-made man.

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注意,顺便说一句,总是独力奋斗的男人aA20n8EE9Pd+-#lg|x

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You've never heard the phrase, "I'm a self-made woman."

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从来没听过“我是独力奋斗的女人,h*K^F;_lR@4。”

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Because women give other people credit, and men are like, "It was pretty much just me."

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因为女人会把功劳归给别人,而男人则会说,“那几乎都是我的功劳i5]Fcv1k2dd=;zb-&w。”

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Everyone needs help in life.

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生活中每个人都需要帮助4kC)~z@28K5)@0~omco

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No one is self-made, but many people are self-sabotaged.

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没有人是独力奋斗的,但很多人是自毁的dBU0zalt|Sm1_Y[

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That actually only takes one.

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实际上这只需要一个人就能做到eSUmjZc2)_qb6OSj7

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Never, ever buy something with a credit card that you cannot immediately pay off.

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永远不要用信用卡买你不能马上还清的东西sFDO)AnbBg[r)

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Never. No excuses.

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决不这么干,不要找借口1JrjpDlfwL

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Don't be like, "Oh, I had to get this. It was so important."

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别这样说,“哦,我得买这个,它太重要了Cg.Vms5@&SRm|。”

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No one's ever putting vegetables on their credit card.

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信用卡不会自己生出钱来YcT62Y7L7q]KM7;dxz

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Treat a credit card like a debit card.

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把信用卡当作借记卡waQZeyL*6(%(M|

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It is money immediately out of your pocket.

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是马上能从口袋里掏出来的钱S;mZIs6z+RG[^+p

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However, do get a credit card as soon as possible.

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不过,尽快办张信用卡pA^5PjQDpFne

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Because our entire credit system in America is a gigantic scam.

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因为美国的整个信用体系都是一个巨大的骗局jV~g,FZqLfj

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You need to have credit in order to get credit.

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你需要有信用,才能获得信用Va5Ozj-)6.Fp

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So, get a credit card, put it on a shelf somewhere.

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所以,办张信用卡,把它放起来,Obl#jEE.VDFB#7Q

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Don't charge anything to it so that 20 years from now, a bank will let you buy a house.

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不要给它充钱,这样20年后,银行会让你买房子的psdu;NO]DT

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I don't really know what that means.

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我并不知道这是什么意思,,G|NSiw]X][yuw[eDH

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I just came up with that line, and I thought it was kind of catchy.

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我刚想到的那句话,觉得它朗朗上口#)vd&.!YCAPA

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So, get out there, and change the world because you know what they say,

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所以,走出去,改变世界,因为你知道他们所说的,

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"The best way to predict the future is to invent it."

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“预测未来的最好方法就是去创造它cx3%PzVsrM!V,R。”

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I think that should be the new slogan for Apple, or maybe toilet paper.

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我认为这应该是苹果的新口号,或者是给卫生纸用Be8k5Dy]CfP-Qkv7x#0

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Success will be your greatest revenge against bullies.

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成功将是你对仗势欺人者最大的报复zI_!)EJLDhB-

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Second place, filling their apartment with murder hornets.

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第二种方法是,在他们的公寓里放满杀人蜂IfA3OsE%;zAi^G

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And my final piece of advice is, advice is really hard to follow.

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最后一条建议是,真的很难遵循建议PQ*5eZ&5kvPXM7S,

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You can't understand advice until you've already gone through the thing that someone is giving you advice about.

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除非你已经经历过别人给你建议的事情,否则你无法理解建议(zRC!cmZMX,ykO4[

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We all hear good advice. We ignore that advice.

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我们都听到过好的建议,然后把它忽视了86h+0BpZf]&*[BV

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Then we look back and say, "That was actually a good advice.

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后来,回望过去时会说,“这真是个好建议0e9mB*)e&nyBq

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I should have listened to that the first time." That's how advice works.

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我应该第一次听到时就听从这个建议+yuasEMRk!J7P。”建议就是这么起作用的Ir~SF(=|W%bI8J

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It's mainly so the person giving the advice can someday say, "I told you so."

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大多数情况下,提建议的人有朝一日会说,“我告诉过你的y)+*k4fZQ&。”

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So, congratulations to the Class of 2020.

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祝贺2020届的毕业生xv73^PuLo)zj&b5;UbHU

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I have a really good feeling about you guys.

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我真的觉得你们很棒wOxQRMvozvV%CYP9

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And I rarely say that to a group of three million high school seniors.

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我很少对300万高中生这么说gw,PQ%!U!B&

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Good luck, and be great, and remember, "The best way to predict the future is to invent it."

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祝你们好运,做个有出息的人,记住:“预测未来的最好方法就是去创造它cwV~%syxYW&ay。”

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God, who came up with that?

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天哪,谁想出的这句话?

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